Monday, May 17, 2010

What should I bring to a Thai funeral?

I am contemplating whether I should attend a Thai funeral here in the States (USA). I have spent 2 years in Thailand and never had to attend a funeral until I got back to the States!...LOL





I am not sure what to bring. I was thinking flowers will suffice.





Please confirm.





Thanks.

What should I bring to a Thai funeral?
Firstly, you seem unsure as to whether to attend, my advice would be to go. Sure there will be cultural differences but just keep quiet and watch others, and you will be OK.





If it is a traditional Thai funeral (not sure as in the US) then the wake could well be from 3-5 days with the body kept in an elaborate coffin in a side room at the Wat. The family may stay at the Wat and if not, they will spend a lot of time there during the wake and receive different mourners every day. The final day will generally be the cremation ceremony, and will get the biggest turn-out. During this time, monks will hold a buddhist chanting ceremony every evening.


If in the Thai style, a wreath would be appreciated I am sure, as it would be on display for a few days, and the more wreaths on display the better. Like others have said, when you actually attend you should hand over an envelope with some money to help the family with the costs of the funeral, you can imagine its quite expensive with it being held over a few days. The amount of this offering would, of course, depend on your income and how well you knew the deceased.


I also understand that different flowers have different "meanings" in Thai culture, so you might want to get the wreath from a Thai florist who will know how to prepare the wreath, or check that the flowers are appropriate for a funeral.





If more of a Western style funeral, then maybe just a small bouquet and the envelope would be ok I guess.
Reply:If it's a thai funeral, then a floral wreath is appropriate. I'm not sure if you can ask any thai acquaintants who also go to the same funeral if money is also appropriate for the family of the deceased. In thailand, we always put in some cash in an envelope and drop it in a box or money tray as a token of support to help out the family of the deceased. I live in the US and have not gone to any thai funeral. I only signed the guest book and give the family the condolences (these funeral are all of Americans). I'm not sure I will be of much help.
Reply:Sorry, I am not Thai, but I will recommend calling ahead if you are not sure and ask what do the family accepts. This way you can remove all doubts. Since the Thai family is in the States, their funeral arrangement may not be fully Thai-style.





In any case, a small donation or a flower wreath will always be appreciated.
Reply:Please do not bring anythigs. Because do not know can use anything you bring. Please do note some money to the family so they can buy anything importance.





Thank You


ChiangMai Local guide


http://www.thai4u-thailand.com
Reply:Vincent says it well :-)





Flowers (preferably white and red, fragrant ones) and handkerchiefs will be just fine.
Reply:Bring condoms. They usually put a few in the grave so he/she can enjoy sexlife in heaven/hell without heavenly STD's.





You might think it's a joke, but all thai funerals i have been to have done just this. Bring a pack of nice rubbers and you can also toss in a sextoy.

skates

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