Thursday, May 20, 2010

Parents: If you died and your spirit was able to witness the funeral, which would you prefer....?

That your child sent flowers and condolences, or to hitchhike(putting himself at risk) to your funeral? This is assuming the funeral would be 2,500 miles away and your child could not afford to drive, or buy a bus or plane ticket.

Parents: If you died and your spirit was able to witness the funeral, which would you prefer....?
If it was not feasible for my child to come to my funeral without significant hardship or risk, I would prefer that that my child hold a memorial wherever he was. Perhaps a picture of me, with a candle and some flowers, and a few words in my honor.





Maybe if my child had a few friends nearby who also knew me, or even if they didn't, they could get together and share a little food and drink, and wish me goodbye.





It's even OK if they smile or laugh at my memorial. Life goes on. While I would be honored if a child shed a tear or two in my memory, it is also my fondest wish that my children be happy, so after the tears, it is time to smile again.
Reply:Regardless of whether or not my parents' souls stuck around, they would absolutely not want me to put myself at risk for what is essentially an opportunity for others to grieve a loss. I have spent my life showing my parents how much I care about them and love them. Showing up at a funeral *after* they're already gone isn't going to make that any more or less clear.





My parents have always put their children first, and I would hope that the people attending their funeral (a million years from now, after I'm long gone, as they simply *cannot* do otherwise - I'm just not strong enough for that) would know them well enough to understand that.





Funerals are not really about the person in the casket. They are about the attendees. They are about comforting the people left behind and giving them a chance to say good-bye. If someone can do that without the funeral, and they simply cannot get there safely, then they should say their good-byes in private. It would be one thing if they could get there without hitchhiking, because then it would be out of respect to the others who will be there, but it isn't worth another funeral.
Reply:Neither. If I'm dead, what difference does it make to me? Funerals are about helping the people left behind move on. Now, if my grieving spouse or my child's siblings wanted my child to be there for support, I would hope I'd left enough money in life insurance to pay for the plane ticket. Nobody's supported by a flower, and hitchhiking is just dumb.
Reply:The child would be the one that has to live with whatever decision he/she made. I would want him/her to make the one they could feel good about doing. The most important thing would be that my child didn't feel guilty for the rest of his/her life gor not attending.
Reply:I would rather them send flowers than to put them self in danger. But I want to be cremated and laid to rest in someones house just so that I have company, assuming your soul is still connected to your remains.
Reply:My spirit being free would not hold any emotions ~ so It would not matter, if would be up to my child to consider if he needs to be there or not to represent himself or the family. We all greive and accept death on our own terms.
Reply:when you die, I believe you go on, you won't feel the need to observe your life on Earth, time is nothing when you are gone, so in no time flat you will be reunited with your pairing souls, big hugs
Reply:I would hope if my funeral was 2,500 miles away and my son was an adult he would be successful enough in his life that he could afford the ticket to my funeral or at least drive.
Reply:hitchhiking is not safe so if there's absolutely no other transportation then flowers and condolences would have to suffice
Reply:if I knew that my child couldn't come to my funeral then I would rather them be safe which means NOT hitchhiking anywhere. So yes I would prefer the flowers and the condolences
Reply:I Would definatly not want my child to put his life at risk no parent is that selfish
Reply:I would leave my child enough money to get to my funeral in an airplane (1st class too)
Reply:this is sick


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