Have you ever had a friend pass away and you didnt find out until after the funeral?

My husband found out today that a friend who he worked with for many years committed suicide. I searched the death notices and the the funeral was actually yesterday. He is really upset that he didnt get to go. The person who was meant to pass on this sad news didnt do so until this morning.


I feel really bad for him - do you think he should send flowers to the family. Has this happened to anyone else?

Have you ever had a friend pass away and you didnt find out until after the funeral?
I don't know about flowers, but at least a phone call or visiting the grave.
Reply:Yes. My heart goes out to your husband. A card would be good. A phone call may be even better in that it allows the family another chance to let things out a bit. In a week or two a meal may be appreciated. They are probably good for a few days. For your husband and the family it may be good to deliver something in person. It gives both an excuse and an opportunity to cry on each others shoulders. The family may have a great need to do this often. In a few months from now (especially around his birthday or fathers day) the family may be go through a real hard time dealing with it and by then everyone else will have forgotten their loss. That may be a good time to check up on them.


Here is a list for the grieving process





Here are 7 steps to the grieving process that may help you help your husband and his friend’s family. These are what most everyone goes through, however everyone is different as to how long it takes.


1) Shock %26amp; Disbelief


2) Sensation of somatic distress (May manifest in pain, changes in appetite or sleep)


3) Preoccupation with the image and belongings of the deceased


4) Guilt (I mad that morning and never told him I loved him)


5) Anger (Why would God do this? The doctors are idiots.)


6) Change in the conduct behavior (Bouts of Depression, Forgetfulness or Disorganization, Restlessness, Feels a need to do something but not sure what)


7) Reorganization of behavior directed toward a new object or activity. (Something to pour this nervous energy and attention into. A new hobby or sport or relationship or?)





This is not a check list as much as a general guideline. The same process is also valid for other losses in ones life like the breakup of a relationship or the loss of a job. In the old days a person would wear black for a year to let others know that they had suffered a loss. Good luck and may God Bless.
Reply:Oh, how awful. I feel bad that your husband received the news so late. He could send a card to the family. They probably have flowers coming out of their ying-yang by now.
Reply:omg that really sucks...I totaly think that he should send them flowers, it'd be really nice
Reply:This happened to my aunt in July. She lost a good friend, and her friend's child died as well in an accident. Her friend was only 21 and the child was 3. We didn't find out until the day of the funeral. I think your husband should just send flowers; he could also visit as well if he wants to.