Thursday, May 20, 2010

Death in the family, no funeral, gift etiquette?

My great great aunt died recently. The service was a small one for only the immediate family. Since the funeral was small and no flowers could be sent, what is proper etiquette as far as a sympathy card? Should I include money? A gift card so my cousin's family can go out to dinner together? Should I include anything? I've never been in a situation where I could not attend the service to show support, so I'm kind of at a loss here.

Death in the family, no funeral, gift etiquette?
A card is appropriate, with an invitation to call if anything is needed. They will respond if the want.
Reply:You can send a sympathy card along with a check, to be made out to your loved one's favorite charity organization, the check will be to honor the memory of your great aunt! It is a nice way to honor the person who has passed and help those less fortunate at the same time. (It is said when good deeds are done to honor the people who passed away, it elevates their soul!!!)
Reply:I have seen many things and all of them are special in their own way. The purpose of sending a card and or little sometning is to let the family know you care. When my father died we got cards, Cut flowers, big flower arrangements, plant arrangements and an Uncle did send some money saying he would like to contribute to my fathers headstone.





As long as you do what you will do sincerely and with love it will be alright. First a good sympathy card...take care with this one as it tells the family how you feel.





Then maybe some flowers or a plant. Now, you know your family...some people find flowers or a plant depressing because they die. Especially plants can become hard for someone grief stricken to take care of and then becomes a grim reminder of the loss as it dies. Flowers I like because, after a few days when they start to fade they can be thrown out.





Now, money...if done right can also be just fine. Contributing to the headstone or a charity in that person's name are fine ideas.





You don't really have to send anything, some of the best things for my family was people who wrote us small personal notes of their favorite memories of him...some of them we didn't know about and it was kind of a fun way to remember him.





Hope that helps.
Reply:NO, don't give a gift card for a dinner. Just call them and talk to them.
Reply:you should send flowers and a sympathy card
Reply:I think it is appropriate to send a card saying you are sorry for their loss and perhaps include a special memory or something like that. If you wanted to send flowers to the home, that would be fine, too.





I am not sure about a gift card.
Reply:obviously they wanted a small/quaint funeral and may have been requested by the aunt before she passed, a nice card is more that enough to show you care. It will mean a lot more than words can say, they probably aren't even expecting that much. Your all good with a card!
Reply:I would just send a nice card and maybe some flowers for the family to enjoy in their home. You could also make a memorial gift to a charity. The charity would typically send a notice of your gift to the family. I have never heard of sending money or gift card. Maybe if they are having difficulty paying for the expense of the funeral.
Reply:I 100% agree with marty47. A card is perfect in this particular circumstance as well as extending the offer of help or assistance if needed. My condolences
Reply:I would just send a card and maybe make a donation to a charity in her honor. What were her interests? If she liked to read, you could donate to her library. If she liked to garden, you could plant a tree in her memory...things like that. Let the family know of your intentions...


No comments:

Post a Comment