Thursday, May 20, 2010

What is appropriate for a Jewish funeral when sending condolences?

My professor just lost her father and I would like to send something because I cannot attend the funeral. I have no idea how this works, and I am told they are sitting Shiva and have been given an address for both locations. I have also read that flowers aren't appropriate. What do I send and to which location (funeral or shiva)? And can someone briefly describe Shiva? Thanks.

What is appropriate for a Jewish funeral when sending condolences?
Great questions. First--you are correct, flowers aren't really appropriate. I would suggest a contribution in his name to either his synagogue (if he belonged to one), or to your professor's synagogue (if s/he belongs to one), or to a local Jewish charity, or to any charity, in that order.





Sitting Shiva ("shiva" means "seven" in Hebrew) is the first week of a yearlong mourning cycle in our faith following someone's death. It's handled differently by different branches of Judaism, and by different individuals, but involves praying at the mourner's home for the first week, and also eating meals with round foods (like eggs, bagels, bundt cakes, etc.) which symbolize life and the circle of life. During this time all the mirrors in the house are supposed to be covered so that the mourners will not have to look at their own grief. There are other aspects to sitting Shiva as well; rather than giving you a long explanation here, let me direct you to a great website that has a lot of info on this subject.


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