Thursday, May 20, 2010

Is it appropriate to go to the funeral of an old friend?

Looking through the obituaries, say you find that a friend from 10+ years ago has died. Would it be inappropriate for you to go to that visitation to pay your respects? Should you simply send a card or flowers?

Is it appropriate to go to the funeral of an old friend?
Of course it is. Funerals are for for the living, they get to celebrate that person's life and all that they touched. The other mourners would not criticize you for showing up; it is comforting to see that the one they loved was so well loved by many others, so the more people, the better.
Reply:By all means, go!
Reply:Nobody is turned away from a visitation or funeral Go, and take a card. I'm sure other friends and their family will appreciate the gesture. I did that when a kid I barely knew got killed in an accident, but I knew his parents. We cried together. The expression of sympathy is enough.
Reply:You can go. If you cared for the person while they were living you should go.
Reply:yes it is
Reply:It depends on how you feel. If you really feel like you would like to go to the funeral and pay your respects, then go. It's not worth being mad at yourself later on for missing it just because you felt weird about going. Besides, hopefully there will be a lot of people there that have knows this person during all periods of his/her life.
Reply:It's perfectly all right to go to visitation. The family will appreciate it. Whichever you're comfortable with, card, visit... Do what you are most comfortable doing.
Reply:Yes it is appropriate to go. That is one of the main reasons people publicize obits; so that everyone gets the news.
Reply:I think it would be a nice gesture for you to be there a pay respects. I've been to plenty of funerals and you'd be amazed to see all the old friends who stop by to offer support and pay respects.
Reply:You need to do what you need to do. So, if there will not be problems by anyone if you go, say a girlfriend/boyfriend then by all means I would go. Sorry about your loss.
Reply:I would go. You never know what may happen. I have been at funerals and introduced myself to the person's children. Several times they asked me different things about their parents because they knew that I knew and they were curious. This was usually funny stories that were told about some mischief we got into.
Reply:The only way that would be inappropriate is if there are some negative issues between you and the family. Other than that, most people appreciate seeing other people whose lives their loved one has affected.
Reply:Absolutely appropriate to go, or to send a card or flowers.





The funeral/visitation is for the survivors - how nice it is for them to see someone from a decade or more ago and know that the person, all these years later remembers the deceased. They would love to hear some fond memories and share stories.
Reply:I always attend a public ceremony of someone that I respect and cared about. I will quietly pay my respects in the back of the chapel and talk to the family only as needed.


I sign the book and sometimes I did sent flowers and card with information if they wanted to reach me.





Otherwise, I just show my respect to the family for the loss of the loved one. Its not about me. Its in honor of them.
Reply:If you were close with this person (even 10+ years ago) it is still nice to pay your respects to the family and to say goodbye. It's not inappropriate at all.
Reply:It is perfectly fine to go as long as you are comfortable with going. After all you were friends at one time and paying respects is just as appropriate in person as sending flowers and a card.

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