I went to a funeral for a 18 day old baby, I am usure if what I said was nice?

A co-worker of mine lost his 3 week old baby. The baby died from heart failure.





I went to the funeral today and hugged him and then hugged his wife and said, "I am so sorry." She said "Thank you for coming, it means so much to us"





I smiled and said "I am glad I could be here for you." Then I looked at all the flowers around us and the casket and said, "Everything looks so beautiful for him."





Afterwards I was thinking maybe I shouldn't have said that because its supposed to be a sad time, not a "beautiful" time. I meant that everything was beautiful for the baby and it showed how much he was loved.





What do you think? Do you think she knew what I meant?

I went to a funeral for a 18 day old baby, I am usure if what I said was nice?
You said exactly the right thing. They wanted everything to look beautiful for their precious baby and they wanted everyone to know how much they loved him. Your remarks were perfect.
Reply:I think what you said was very nice. She knew it was heartfelt, and really....is there anything perfect to say at a time like that ?


You did a great job, and you're a very kind co-worker.
Reply:i am sure she knew what you ment!!! Dont worry about it! God, I know that must be so hard for her!!! i could not imagine loosing my lil man!!! :(
Reply:I think she would've understood quite well considering they would have given him a beautiful life if he was still alive! I'm sure they were there to pay respects, mourn and celebrate the short little life that he did indeed have! Like all parents they want the best for their children and will do anything and everything to keep them happy and satisfied and I bet while planning his funeral she though of him and what his little eyes could see. I am very sorry to hear about this loss, my condolences for the little angel. What you said wasn't rude in any way..I am sure they appreciated you being there..God bless you!
Reply:Don't worry,she knew what you meant.you are very polite?
Reply:It is a sad time for those of us who are on earth but if your a Christian like I am then it shouldn't be a sad time. Trust me I know that sounds crazy, but the baby is with God now and will never hurt or see hurt. When a loved one goes to Heaven then it is a very beautiful time though it may not be to us on earth. I'm sure ur friend understood what you ment.
Reply:My baby died when he was 3 months old and people said some really stupid things. What you said doesn't seem bad at all. It's stressful going to a baby's funeral even if it's not your child. Don't beat yourself up. It's ok.
Reply:I'm sure she knew what you meant. She probably had in mind that sometimes people are uncomfortable at funerals, especially children's funerals, and sometimes just don't know what to say.
Reply:What you said sounds nice to me. I'm sure she understood.
Reply:I think those words were okay. I dont think she would think of that in the moment though.
Reply:You said the right thing! Nothing wrong with that.
Reply:yikes i hate those situations......i think you did well
Reply:I'm sure she knew what you meant. You did fine.
Reply:I feel you said something kind and caring. In all honesty, your co-worker probably didn't even process what you said. If my baby had died I would be numb and barely functioning. What she will remember is that you attended the funeral and cared enough to come and support them at this difficult time.


It is always difficult to know what to say. No matter what you say, it is awkward and uncomfortable. You did just fine.
Reply:i'm sure she knew what you meant. i think its a good way to let her know that they have made the funeral a beautiful and warm place to remember their son. at least she can know that she has done a good thing for her son because of what you said.
Reply:Even if she didn't, it's already been said, you meant well, don't worry.
Reply:i agree i would probably say the same thing i think she new what you ment i wouldnt worrie about it xx
Reply:yes, she deffinitely understood what you said, she couldn't have thought anything else............u shouldn't don't feel bad
Reply:I think you did just fine...she knew what you meant. You handled the situation perfectly.
Reply:My brother just attended a funeral for a baby girl who was 1 week old. They placed her in a carrier instead of a casket and hung a mobile over her head and that is how they wanted their daughter to be remembered.
Reply:The funeral was for him..and it was meant to look beautiful for him. It was so his final days here...what you said was just fine. Yes..it is a very sad time...so hard to deal with..but if you believe like I do..that when we pass on..our souls are still here..the baby saw the beauty surrounding him..and it comforted him.
Reply:Yes, I'm sure you wouldn't have upset them by saying that.
Reply:It was nice and I'm sure that she has much more on her mind than anything you said, afterall her life will never be same, and they both will need more support.
Reply:u did just fine hun
Reply:For sure she knew what you meant. What you said was really nice - at last, a beautiful funeral was the only thing that could have done to the baby. You shouldn't worry about it.
Reply:She probably knew what you meant, even if she did find it insensitive at the time. After she heals a bit she'll understand even more.
Reply:My mother said the same thing to very close friends of ours at a funeral yesterday morning. Believe me you did nothing wrong. I'm sure your words were very comforting.
Reply:Yes, she knew what you meant, and she would have appreciated it.
Reply:What you said was perfectly comforting. My sister lost a baby at 2 months. I remember standing by the casket and she said to me, "Doesn't he look handsome?" If you're looking for a memorial . . .Something nice someone did for my sister was donate a children's book to the local library. They put in memory of (his name) inside the cover. It was a thoughtful gesture.
Reply:She definitely knew what you meant. You were being kind, and she appreciated it. It is actually very relieving to hear that you did a good job for the deceased, that you "sent them out" in the perfect way.





Trust me, there are plenty of bad things to say at a funeral. We heard a ton of them at my father's funeral (especially "It should have been me."). You're fine, don't worry. Do offer your support though...making meals is especially appreciated. :-)
Reply:yep ask her though