Tuesday, November 17, 2009

What can I give to a family at a funeral besides flowers and/or food?

The father of a very good family friend passed away yesterday. The initial discussion was to do a nice floral arrangement, as they have done that in the past for my family. However, I just don't want to spend $75 on a bouquet that will die. And I'm not a fan of silk arrangements either.





The family won't need food... they are active in a lot of groups that have already offered to provide meals for a few weeks.





There is no mention of providing a donation to a charity, so that's out.





The man's hobbies included oil painting; woodworking; fishing; watching his children’s, grandchildren’s, and great-grandson’s athletic events; basketball; decorating for Christmas; and working in his yard.





Any suggestions on something we could do that would be more long-lasting and memorable (for his family, not for our gift).

What can I give to a family at a funeral besides flowers and/or food?
If you don't want to do a flower arrangement to send to the wake, it's usually traditional to send a PLANT instead (not flowers). You can find BEAUTIFUL peace lilies online. They're really durable, and don't take a green thumb to take care of. They're also beautiful.





You can also send a fruit basket instead of sending "food".





Really anything you do will be appreciated. Don't worry about what other people are doing. I would probably go with the plant.
Reply:go to a nursery and pick out a bush or a tree that can be planted in the family's yard
Reply:If there is no charity to donate to, pick one and put it in the deceased name anyway. Example: is there a charity Home Depot or Lowes does things for; because he was handy and things. Find out what organizations they are affilated with and donate to them in his memory and make sure the family sees it.





Also, waiting and then doing something kind after the funeral is long over with is an excellent way to show you care after everyone has forgotten.
Reply:you have two options: either phone the family and ask what organization to donate to in the man's memory, or send a check to them with a note saying you wanted to contribute to ease their loss and didn't know what they needed at this time of their loss. (with the money they could pay for Masses in the future if they are catholic, they could put it toward the funeral or expenses they incurred, they could donate it to offset the guys income with regard to his final IRS form, etc. and you could use that as a donation on your income taxes)
Reply:Usually a nice family photo with him in. If you can get it enlarge and framed in a quality frame. People will be able to remember the happy moment the photo was taken for many years to come.





I did a similar thing when a very close uncle died, my auntie still keep the photo on show on her mantle piece 8 years later.
Reply:...Hmm, you could find a local painter to have his portret painted in oil - add a custom wood carved frame and don't make it too big, like in the old days, just dainty enough as not too be cumbersome in the future. At the funeral just let them know you are preparing a special gift that takes a little time to deliver and offer a smaller arrengement with a sympathy card.


If oil painting is not an otion then invest in a quality enlargement (again, not too big) and real expensive carved wood frame from a pro, custom framing services, they do an excelent job!
Reply:What did he die of? Cancer? Donate to the Cancer Society. Heart disease? Donate to Heart %26amp; Stroke. You get the idea.





He either died in a hospital or was treated in a hospital - donate to that hospital
Reply:An envelope with cash!
Reply:Habitat for Humanity is a good choice for a charity.


Also, since he had so many hobbies, you may want to consider donating some money to a local public library to purchase library books in his memory. The library normally places a book plaque in the front of the book saying "Donated in the memory of...."





Since he had so many hobbies, asking the library to buy books in his hobby areas would be nice.





Another idea would be to donate money to the great-grandson's school (maybe the athletic department?).





Just a few ideas.
Reply:You could put together a photo collage of him and present it to the family. If you use a computer, put some music in the background or his favorite songs.
Reply:Maybe you could make a donation in his name to a local organization he enjoyed - like the athletic boosters, the garden league, or a local marina. When my grandmother died, a friend gave us a hydrangea which we planted. It reminds us of her every time it blooms.
Reply:We felt the same way when my grandmother died, no need for a bunch of flowers so we asked that people make a donation in her name at her 2 favorite charities. You say that donations are out, but you could find something in the woodworking or oil painting world that you could donate the money to in his name. Or you could just give the donation for them at the funeral. People give money at funerals too. Normally it goes to help pay for the funeral.


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