Ex's mom and I had a good relationship, but my breakup with my ex ended badly. We are civil but not friends per se. I'm leaning toward sending flowers since I don't want to be a distraction for the family - what do you think?
Should I go to my ex's mom's funeral or just send flowers? Not friendly with ex but loved her mom.?
i'd go you may always regret it if you don't good luckx
Reply:i agree with angel eyes. stand toward the back and sign the guest book that is there in the back of the room. you are kind to even think of doing something, sending flowers is kind, too. know what? sending a short note to the widowed father telling him what the mother had meant to you afterward is a very kind gesture too. you will never ever regret doing any or all of these things. classy.
Reply:I don't see anything wrong making an appearance if you just want to pay your respects. As long as your ex doesn't make a scene, I say go, give your condolences and go on about your business. It's not about her, it's about saying goodbye to someone who was special to you.
Reply:goto furneral to pay your respect.....if youre asked to leave do so quietly.
Reply:id send flowers or visit grave later. maybe explain situation to funeral home and go in and see her before every one else gets there.
Reply:go out of respect for her and the relationship you had.
Reply:I think this is the time to forget about the negative. GO! You might regret it if you don't. The fact is, you had a good relationship with her. I don't think you'll be a distraciton for the family, I think they will appreciate your thoughtfulness beyond words!
Reply:Go to the funeral...
Reply:I WOULD SEND FLOWERS AND GO AT THE SAME TIME. BUT I WOULD STAND TOWARDS THE BACK AND TRY NOT TO BE SEEN BY THE EX, SO NOT TO MAKE A SCENE AT HER MOTHERS FUNERAL. THEN LEAVE QUICKLY AFTERWARDS SO NOT TO MAKE ANYONE UPSET. BUT DO PAY YOUR RESPECTS IN BOTH WAYS. IN MY OPINION.
Reply:I think you should call her and tell her you'd like to attend but don't want to upset her. I think you should call your fatherinlaw too if he's alive.
Reply:If you want to go then go. If not, send flowers.
Reply:You obviously don't want to go - you listed every possible excuse to get out of it. So don't go. Send flowers if that's all you can do.
Really, though, funerals aren't meant to be convenient, and those who attend do it out of respect for the deceased as well as the deceased's family. If you were really close to her, you should go. Regardless of how your break up went, the ex will NOT be thinking about or perhaps even notice you.
Reply:First ask yourself why you are doing it. For yourself? Then what is the point?
If you think for one minute that it would cause a distraction or difficulty for the mom's family, then don't go. The mom is dead, she won't know if you came or not. Send them a card or flowers.
If you think they would take in stride as your showing a sign of respect and caring by attending, then go ahead. But I would make it brief.
Reply:If you two were close then you should go to pay your respects. I don't think you would be a distraction to the family because they aren't going to be there for the drama, they are there to do the same thing as you...grieve and pay respects.
Reply:The funeral is NOT about your ex and she is NOT the "center of attention" here. Assuming there are other family members, you go there and pay your respect and briefly extend your condolence to them. It is the official closure of a chapter.
Reply:If you can get the time off then I think you should go. You loved her and she loved you. Hopefully your ex would be adult enough to understand your wanting to pay your respects. You don't have to stay long.