Is it a really bad thing not to give flowers at a funeral?

Hi, I am going to a funeral this afternoon, one of my close friends mum has died.


I only have £15 pounds left till fri(pay day), after the funeral later on my friend has mentiioned we go to watch Manu chelsea, so i'm in a bit of delema, do I buy flower and not be with him in the evening or get flower and say I cant make it to the pub?

Is it a really bad thing not to give flowers at a funeral?
A friend of mine lost his mum a few weeks ago.He said his father was surrounded by flowers at home and didn't know what to do with them.So, I gave a donation towards a park bench that the family is buying in her memory instead.


When I came out of hospital a few years ago, I had so many flowers that the smell made me feel sick.I felt awful but had to get rid of them.


Go the to funeral and support your mate.Then, go to the footie.Life is for the living buddy, so go and enjoy.x
Reply:No it's not and many people attend funerals and not bring flowers, in fact where I am it is usually only family and very close friends, or a little group who put together that give flowers. Also many Catholics believe more in giving Mass Cards. The priest should say a mass just when requested but it is normal to put a donation inside a card but around £5 would be fine. I would however take a card, depending on their religion like a Sympathy Card and put your words of condolences on it.
Reply:Its not necessary to bring flowers, there will be enough there already, I doubt one missing bouquet would make a difference. If you feel bad about this donate the cost of the flowers to charity once you get paid on Friday, I remember we asked for no flowers for my dads funeral, he was getting cremated so there was no point, and asked for any money for flowers to go to charity instead.








Instead give your friend the support he needs and join him to watch the match later. I know at times like this he'll crave a bit of normality, the match may not be the best thing for him to be doing, but it'll be good to have a friend there with him to support him at this time.
Reply:If it is the same lad whose mum has just died that you are going the pub with then I'd say support your friend and go the pub.





Some people do specify family flowers only or no flowers but donations to charity/hospice, if she died from say cancer send them a donation when you get paid, or go with your friend to visit the grave in a few weeks and take flowers then,(the funeral ones will be dead by then).





If you explain the situation with your friend I'm sure he'll understand he will have more on his mind than noticing who did or didn't bring flowers.
Reply:if you absolutely feel that you should bring something, then consider bringing a small plant instead of flowers. small plants in a pot live longer and could be a better symbol than a flower which is cut and will wither soon anyway. a small green plant could mean something like the memories of the deceased will live on forever.
Reply:Flowers are a waste at a funeral. It's nothing but show. What's the use of giving them to a dead person who obviously can't even see them?


It's better you give your friend company later on... he'll feel a lot better.


Your presence at the funeral will be enough. Pray for her soul and that will be more than the value of a million bouquets.
Reply:Its absolutely okay, I have made stipulations in my will that no flowers (even though I love them) would rather people donate to a charity on their behalf, dont feel bad about it, its ok! That way you can do it when you can afford it! hope that helps, sorry for yours and your friends loss.
Reply:I think you should save your money and go the the pub with your friend later- and then ask if there is a particular charity that your friend's Mum supported so you can make a donation to them in her name- which you can do after you've been paid
Reply:Many now prefer donations to a particular charity/hospice of their choice, rather than cut flowers. So it is appropriate to ask what they would prefer before sending any.


I think your presence at the funeral is far more important than the floral tribute.
Reply:Your best gift would be to be there for your friend. So save the money so you can be with your friend later. There's probably alot of funeral flowers there already so no big deal.





My condolences to your friend and his family.
Reply:There is no law that says you must buy flowers. Just being there is enough. Flowers just lay on the ground and die. Give a donation to any charity in that persons name when you have some money. Far more effective than flowers.
Reply:it is optional to give flowers.


I also have a funeral this afternoon the person being buried i hate but i am going to support the deceaseds wife because she's a really nice lady :)
Reply:Do not ever buy flowers for a funeral. It is such a waste of money. The person you are buying them for is dead. Flowers are for the living.
Reply:In the circumstances don't be buying flowers keep the money and meet up with your friend later he will be glad of the company.
Reply:no need to waste money on flowers. the family will just be glad of your support. maybe buy him a drink in the pub instead and propose a toast to the departed?
Reply:I don't think flowers are expected these days - and do you really think the family will notice if you don't give any? Go watch the match and enjoy yourself.
Reply:Not necessary to buy flowers - your friend will just be happy with your presence and support
Reply:let's celebrate death by murdering some flowers - I will never understand that stupid tradition!
Reply:go with him,,they will respect you for leaning at their side first before what ever you wished to plan to go to..time is not long there to show th comfort they will need..thats what friends are for...
Reply:RUH ROH RAGGY....thats RUDEY RUDEY RUUUUUDE!!!!!
Reply:Just going to the funeral and showing your support would be enough for me, you don't need to get flowers.
Reply:no
Reply:You don't need to buy flowers maybe a mass card, just going to the funeral and paying your respects are enough