How should a card with funeral flowers be signed?

Husband's former fiance's mom has died. They were engaged 25 years ago. He was, however, very close to her family for several years and we live in an area where he still sees some of her siblings. I think flowers are appropriate %26amp; he agrees. But he thinks I should sign card from both of us. I never met the woman and do not know either his former fiance or her siblings. I believe the card should be signed only from him.

How should a card with funeral flowers be signed?
Unless there are additional circumstances such as hard feelings between yourself and the former fiance, as an earlier answerer mentioned, then I believe that you should indeed sign the card.





Otherwise, a card to the former fiance could seem as an awkward gesture, coming only from him. But if you both sign it, it seems like a thoughtful gesture from one family to another in a time of grief.





It's very thoughtful of you to be so considerate for the family in this time, as so many women would instantly become jealous at the thought of recognizing someone who was once such an important part of their life and almost became family. Kudos to you!
Reply:I think it should have both your names on it, even though you didn't know them
Reply:It is most appropriate for him to sign it first because they are his associates, not yours.





However, it's an extra kind gesture to add a line of encouragement or sign your name as well. It's up to him to be accountable for his life connections. Too many guys try to place the onus upon women in their lives fort these things instead of living up to the human beings they ought to be.





Really, women too commonly make the men in their lives look good when it's not really their job.
Reply:Thoughts and Prayers,
Reply:Sign the card "from X and family". That way your name isn't on it, but it is a gesture to show respect and condolences regardless of the fact that you never knew the family.
Reply:I disagree. I think as a married woman myself, that I would sign the card with his name first, my name and then my children. And just add " Our prayers and thoughts are with you " That is my suggestion. But , you are his wife and an extension of him now two halves make a whole.
Reply:I think it would be completely appropriate for u to both sign it- just write something like: Our deepest sympathies, The Smith family (or John and Jane Smith, whichever u prefer) Your husband is simply saying that the two of u are married, therefore you're a united front, a team, and that he doesn't want it to come across awkwardly if just he signs it b/c you're his wife whom he loves very much! And after all, if it was your idea to send flowers even for an ex of your husband's, and he agrees, then y not add your sympathy as well by singing the card?
Reply:Sign it "with our condolences" or "sorry for your loss"


from:


The "your husband's name and/or surname" Family.
Reply:Sign from both of you. It's a nice gesture to let her know she's in your thoughts, even if you've never met.
Reply:I think it should be signed from both of you since you are part of him. Something like With Sympathy in your time of loss then his name and family.
Reply:You should sign it too just to express your sympathy.
Reply:Both of you must sign
Reply:you should sign for the both of you......
Reply:No; the card should definitely be signed by both of you because that is proper ettiquette. In the card, just write, "Know that our thoughts are with you at this difficult time, and we extend our most sincere condolences to you. Most Sincerely, [Both of Your Names Here]"
Reply:I think it is appropriate for the card to be signed by both of you. At such a difficult time, any extra show of support would be a nice gesture for the family.
Reply:You should sign it, it shows your good manners.
Reply:it should be signed "Mr and Mrs John Doe"


even though you didn't know the woman personally, your name should be on the card, otherwise, it might appear a little rude or cold hearted.
Reply:Either way would be fine. If he would like you to sign the card, it would be quite in order for you to do so, as you are joining him in expressing sympathy and support on this sad occasion to the family.





If you chose not to sign the card, as they do not know you, it would possibly not be remarked upon.





However, in the case of a death, the expression of sympathy is such a general and 'human' response to a sad occasion, one does not have to directly know the people involved in order to offer sympathy and support.





Best wishes :-)
Reply:better to have more signatures than less


and you husband wants you to sign so please go ahead and sign both names
Reply:I wouldn't even bother with my husband's former fiance's mum's death. but anyhow... it should be from the both of you, cause if he knows them well enough to know/care, then they should know that he is with someone else.





May she live on through you and her memory warm you every day. Our sincerest condolensces. Jim and Mary





short and sweet.. don't dwell on specific memories, etc.
Reply:From both of you. Even if you didn't know the woman or her family, you can still sympathize. And it shows you support your husband.





From a strict etiquette POV, things like that always come from both of you. From a personal perspective, I think it would be weird if you didn't just because of the history. He's your husband.
Reply:Well there are a few things to concider....





Are there ANY hard feelings btwn him and his ex? Does she dislike YOU in any way?





If there are ANY hard feelings there and she resents YOU (or blames you for the break up) then you SHOULD NOT sign the card! Right now is NOT the time she needs to be dealing w/ THOSE emotions on top of what she is already going through. She doesnt need to have her face shoved into the fact that YOU and her ex are married now... so just let him sign it, but with "and family" at the end of it!





However, if things between them ended on a good note or if you came along AFTER thier relationship was over and there are no harsh feelings btwn all of you (just a bit of awkwardness) then by all means you SHOULD sign the card! It doesnt matter if you know her or not... I'm sure that you can sympathize w/ what she is going through! I'm sure that you can find some words to comfort! She can use all the prayers and comfort she can get and she may think its nice that you care!





Also... you may concider going to the receiving of friends with him (or he may want to go alone). Its a sign of respect... for the mother (whom he probably knew and was close to!)





One more thing... dont forget about HIS feelings in all this... I know that my husband was pretty close to his ex's family. It used to make me feel a bit "paranoid" but then I realized... its not his ex's FAMILY's fault that she was a ***** to him... THEY had never shown him anything but love and acceptance! So when her mother went MISSING a few years ago... he was UPSET too!! So.. again, dont forget about how this might be affecting HIM (even though he may not be showing it to you!)





I dont know if you are a jealous person or not... but if you are then just make sure that you put ALL of that aside for right now... let him go to the funeral if he wants (offer to go w/ him.. but understand if he would rather go alone... like I had said, you dont want to stir up the ex on the day she is burying her mother!) Offer him comfort and LISTEN to him if he wants to talk about the mother and HIS memories of her! He needs to grieve too (if he was close to her!)





I will be praying for the two of you AND the family that lost thier mother! Condolences!
Reply:You are right, it should be just him.





I know I hate signing cards, so I understand where he's coming from, but it's his job to do.
Reply:Should make no difference, the feelings of sympathy are from all
Reply:Just write "Our Prayers are with you and your family -The Smiths (your last name)."





It is just a general card of sympathy, and so long as it contains no personal messages, it is perfectly appropriate for the card to go out this way.





If he would like to write a personal message, he should include a note (on nice paper) signed with just his first name. When you just send a card out as above, it might seem too impersonal, if he was really close. In which case, the note would be fitting.





Also, the card should be addressed to the widower, if there is one. If not, then it can be directed towards his old fiance.