Monday, May 11, 2009

Is it normal to take flowers to a funeral?

have never had to go to one before fortunatly. a friend said today about flowers tho, i would rather give money to the hospice he was in, am doing a fundraising event for it as well, but dont want to go with none if thats the normal thing to do? help!

Is it normal to take flowers to a funeral?
First of all, I'm sorry about your friend, and I think it's great to do some fundraising. I think the correct procedure is to send flowers through a florist with a card - the only time I have taken flowers to a funeral myself is when a family member has died. Then I have picked some from my garden and taken them along and put them on the coffin. I remember my mother-in-law saying that she wanted no flowers at all, but people sent them anyway, and I suppose the sight of a coffin arriving at a cemetery or crematorium with no flowers on it at all would be odd and sad, but that might just be tradition, or a personal view. Usually funeral flowers go to an old people's home afterwards, where they do give great pleasure. I remember when my mother died I went to 'view' her at the funeral directors the day before her burial, and I put a few, very special flowers inside her coffin. (Freesias, mainly, so I can never see them without remembering those minutes).


What a long answer! Hope it helps.
Reply:You normally select an arrangement (it doesn't have to be a wreath!) at your local florist. Tell them what you want to be written on the little card that goes with the flowers. They then usually send them on to the funeral themselves. They can also advise you on an appropriate arrangement. I would probably send flowers as well as fund raise. Unless the person who is deceased SPECIFICALLY SAID they wanted people to give money to the hospice or some other good cause instead of buying flowers. For eg, my late grandad said to make a donation to "Water Aid" (a charity) instead. Hope this helps :)
Reply:you should send flowers or a plant
Reply:Yes it's "normal". All civilizations placed flowers on the body and on the grave-site. Same reason we give flowers to each other when alive. A reverence for beauty of life, fragile it blooms and it is then gone, so it is in respect, a token of love and gratitude for the beauty and joy enjoyed by us in having known the person in life.
Reply:Flowers should be ordered at a florists and sent to the funeral director (Undertaker). It would not be normal to take flowers with you. It seems to me, it would be much more appropriate to donate any money to the hospice..
Reply:Nicki in this situation I would take one flower and place it with the other flowers after the service and then I would make my contribution to the hospice quietly without fuss.





This is a show of your respect and you're being helpful to the hospice at the same time.





I think single flowers out of plastic are much better and you can even find out what the persons fave flower was. That would be just LOVELY X
Reply:One doesn't physically take flowers to a funeral, they order them from a florist %26amp; the florist takes them to the funeral home. Many people send planters, instead of flowers, %26amp; many send gifts of money inside a sympathy card. There will be envelopes at the funeral home in the vestibule, to fill out for Hospice, or the choice of the family or the deceased.
Reply:Normally you do not take flowers or a wreath to the funeral. You usually have them so that the funeral director can display them before the mourners arrive.





Personally, I think flowers are waste of money and that a contribution to the person's charity would be more appropriate and useful. But it is a cultural and traditional thing to do.
Reply:YES flowers are normal





but raising money is good to ask family of the deceased what they prefer, or what the person who died would have wanted
Reply:Where i live, most people call ahead and have flowers delivered to the place where they are having the funeral. But money to the hospice would be a great idea i think!
Reply:Definately give the money to hospice in the decedent's name, and send a card explaining that you did that. The family would probably appreciate the gesture, and will have enough flowers from other loved ones!
Reply:No, you don't usually bring flowers to a funeral, since it isn't held at someone's home - they don't have a vase or anything to put the flowers in. Sometimes people will send flowers directly to the church or funeral, usually a very large wreath or spray of flowers, but this is pretty expensive and is rarely from an individual.


Mail a condolence card to the person's home, and make a contribution to the hospice.
Reply:If you were close to the family or the deceased, you can call a florist and have an arrangement sent to the funeral home. Don't bring them yourself, that's weird... for lack of a better word.





Donating to the hospice is a great idea! Many of them are underfunded and do such great work.
Reply:Normally people send wreaths via the flower shop, ie you order from the flower shop and they send it to the address. Some people ask that wreaths not be sent and donations to be made to a certain charity. In such a case, you can choose to or not to make the donation.
Reply:You should not turn up to the funeral with the flowers. If you want to send flowers you do it through a florist. Otherwise, perhaps in your card you could put a note in that you made a donation to the Hospice
Reply:Sorry about your friend. It is not necessery to take or send flowers. What you are doing is great. The family will appreciate what you are doing. Good luck with the fundraising.
Reply:I am sure the guest of honour , the desist would like to think of you helping those that need care. so a donation to a hospice would be perfect answer. you might also think about a buying a tree if you would like
Reply:its totally up to you if you want to send flowers or not... its generally only family that take flowers to a funeral but if you do then you can lay them after the service...


from experience tho, someone making a donation to the hospice a relative of mine was in was more appreciated than flowers, after all hospices always need donations to help them keep up the good work they do,


sorry to hear about your loss, hope this helped with your decision
Reply:help the hospice
Reply:Yeah! It's perfectly fine. It just like a little gift. It looks kind.
Reply:You don't take them with you, usually--you have them sent to the funeral home/church where the funeral is or take them by before the funeral.





Usually, if somebody says they want you to donate to _______ in lieu of flowers, then donate, but my family and I still wind up bringing flowers almost every time (it's like, $50 for a pretty nice arrangement...see if you can go in on it with another friend or family member.)





You can have the hospice send a card to the survivors of the person who just died that says a donation was made by you in memory of that person. That would be nice...but I love flowers and I feel like it adds to the atmosphere to have as many as possible.





But, hey, if you feel like it would go further some other way, do that. It's hard to feel comfortable about...much of anything. It's a funeral...even when you've been to a ton of them like I have, it still makes you feel all weird and sad and uncomfortable and I feel like flowers are a way to, sorta, bridge the gap. Say what I might not be able to say.





But you're not gonna walk in holding them, anyway. So it's OK if you don't get them and spend your money elsewhere on another worthy cause.





Do what feels right. Forget about "normal"--it doesn't really apply here.
Reply:A lot of families ask for donations instead of flowers. The arrangements are normally done through the funeral directors, and flowers are send via florists.





Your friend's family will be overwhelmed at your fundraising event, and will not mind at all if you make a donation instead of flowers.
Reply:You should ask the family of the deceased is a normally a decision made by the deceased before theor passing or the family in organising the funeral. There are no set rules for this.
Reply:Take a card saying inside you donated money to the hospice in memory of....





Flowers don't have to be taken.
Reply:Generally the family will make a statement (either in the obituary, if you live in an area where they are common, or in a program for visitation, if not), whether or not they are requesting memorial donations or not. Memorial donations such as to Hospice are still perfectly acceptable as an alternative to flowers, however.





I grew up in the south, and for some reason, I just can't stand to see a funeral pass "without flowers." I recently attended a funeral where the family requested memorial donations to a certain organization; however, I attended the visitation early and saw that there were no flowers whatsoever, so I decided to send the family flowers instead. I saw the next day they'd only received four arrangements or so, even though it was a medium-sized funeral, so I felt that I'd made the right call.





I try to send a live plant rather than cut flowers, that way the family has a living tribute to their lost family member after the funeral.





Not really an answer to your question, but the oddest thing I've heard of in an obituary was that memorial donations be made to "hookers, midgets and firetrucks." This was requested in an obituary that was submitted to a small-town newspaper I worked for.





But just follow your heart...you'll know the right thing to do. That's what I always do in these situations.





Sorry for your loss.
Reply:you don't bring them. You get the florist to send the arrangement.
Reply:actually you should have the flowers sent to the funeral home prior to the funeral. though if you are doing all as you say you are a simple card to the family offering condolences along with the donation would suffice.


DO NOT arrive at the funeral home with flowers or a wreath in your hand. it is tacky this is a funeral not a wedding.
Reply:sure. dead people love flowers
Reply:normally take flowers





if the family dont want flowers it normally says on the funeral invite no flowers
Reply:No, every funeral I've been already had flowers. They were probably provided by the funeral home.
Reply:u dont take flowers! u take a wreath!

Nanny Source

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