funeral flowers

My great grandma died today i cant make it to the funeral but i want to send flowers so...??

2011-11-19T02:20:00.008-08:00

they live in another state....So whats the correct way to send them to the funeral home.....? or to her house where her mother was carring for her?? %26amp; do i need to order from a florist in her city? %26amp; whats the best kind of flowers to send for times like these?

My great grandma died today i cant make it to the funeral but i want to send flowers so...??
Just call the florist in your town. They will then contact the florist in her home town. Send what ever flower you can afford. Its not how much you spend on the arrangement, its that

you sent something in the first place.

God Bless you and I am very sorry for your loss.
Reply:I'd say use the internet to find a florist in her town. I'd send them to the funeral - people seem to like having plenty of flowers on display. If you know of a flower she liked, I'd try to get it or something similar. If you don't have anything specific in mind, tell the florist how much you have to spend and your relationship. He/she should be able to suggest something suitable.
Reply:You need to call a florist near where your grandmother will be having services held. Call and let them know the situation and they will for sure tell you what you can send. Also, if someone else has placed an order they will make sure that they are sending something that doesn't look exactly the same.
Reply:just send any kind of flowers or you can ask the florist what they have and you can make your choice and use the florist in their state since it would be hard to ship flowers from a long distance... i'm sorry for your loss.
Reply:You can use any florist. Make sure you have the name, address, %26amp; phone # of the funeral home. The florist (even one local to you) can then wire the order to a florist near the funeral home. Keep in mind that this is very expensive. I am truely sorry for your loss. Hope this helps.
Reply:Call 1800flowers.

Make sure they don't send them in a box. They do this sometimes.

Check to see if they are taking donations in here name to a charity
Reply:Ordere them from the town she lives in and carnations are appropriate for funerals, or maybe a peace lilly.
Reply:Just call FTD, they are really good with deliveries everywhere. You can order online, too. All you need is the name of the FH and her name. I would send something she really liked, if you knew her well enough. Otherwise a nice spring arrangement would be fine. It is the thought that will count.
Reply:You can go online and order them. FTD sends to almost any city in the USA, if that's where you live. There are international florists who deliver all over the world as well. White lilies are usually a good idea. I would suggest sending them to the relative in charge of the funeral arrangements.
Reply:Call a florist that you deal with in your own city and that you trust. Ask them what they suggest and maybe you can tell them what your Grandmother's favourite colours or flowers were so they might integrate them into the arrangement. You can also have a banner that says something like "beloved grandmother", etc. They will then contact a florist in the city where the funeral is being held and deliver this to the service or to the persons home that you want them sent to. You have my condolences I am sorry for you loss.
Reply:Get the name of the funeral parlor and what city and state it is in. Then call 1-800-Flowers.
Reply:lilies are traditional. if she has a favorite or her mother has a favorite you can send those. send them to the funeral home. you can use 1800flowers - they use local florists. or conact the funeral home and ask for a recommendation. or donate money to an appropriate cause instead of buying flowers and send a note to let them know.

PDA

What colour flowers for your funeral?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.007-08:00

I want white flowers.

What colour flowers for your funeral?
fire and ice roses *nods*

{{ive missed seeing u!! *hugs*}}
Reply:"id rather have one blossom, from the flower of a friend, then a truckload at my funeral, when my stay on earth must end - anonymous"

♥

i wan white daisies *blush*
Reply:white..
Reply:Doesn't really make a difference to me. I won't be able to see or smell them.
Reply:black
Reply:black roses i think :-%26lt;

My great grand mother died today and i cant make it to the funeral i want to send flowers .....?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.006-08:00

Can you get seeds from cut flowers?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.005-08:00

I have a lot of cut flowers from a funeral and I would like to save as many as I can. Is it possible to save any of the flowers?

Can you get seeds from cut flowers?
No, you can't get seeds from cut flowers. The flower must stay on the plant for it to mature into seeds. Once a flower is cut, that's it, the only thing that will happen is it will die. Sorry. The only thing that I can suggest is find out what kind of flowers they are and buy the seeds in the store.
Reply:Well, you could press the flowers or hang them upside down for a few days----- they will not wilt too much that way, and you can keep them pretty much forever. If you still want to use the seeds, though, then of course you can plant them. Just make sure you know the correct soil to use, the right amount of water, the right temperatures and light levels, and all of that good stuff!
Reply:Yes, but let them go to seed before you cut them. Cut heads off and shake into a paper envelope. Never store seeds in plastic

What is the etiquette for sending flowers to a church if there is no visitation?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.004-08:00

A friend of mine has passed and my husband and I would like to send flowers. There will be no visitation the night before-just the funeral at the church Saturday morning. My question is should I send the flowers to the funeral home to arrive the day before or send them directly to the church the day before? I don't want to create more work than necessary. Just need some input please.

What is the etiquette for sending flowers to a church if there is no visitation?
different places have different ideas on the matter. i would think to send them to the church. give the church rectory a call and see what they might want you to do. that is what i did in that situation when my brother passed.
Reply:glad to help Report It

Reply:Usually when a family requests no visitation they also request that either a donation be put in the deceased's name, or you send flowers to the grave site. It would be best to call the funeral home and get the specifics for sending flowers with no visitation. Thank you and GOD bless.
Reply:Don't send flowers--donate to a good cause in your friend's memory. For example, if she died of a heart attack, donate money in her memory to the National Heart Association. Chances are, she'll probably have many people giving flowers, and the church will be so packed with them, yours might be lost in the shuffle. It's nice to remember your friend this way, but what happens to cut flowers? They die. However, that $50 or $75 you spend on a donation to a worthy cause will never die. As a matter of fact, it may just save someone's life.
Reply:Normally, if there is no wake or viewing, then the proper thing to do is send the flowers directly to the family's home. The only time it is proper to send it to the funeral is if it is a proper funeral spray. What you should really do is ask where to send the flowers to, if you get no response, you should send them to the house.

Why would you send flowers to a funeral home if there is no viewing?

riding boots

How do I make a complaint of a purchase I made. Flower Expo sent the wrong colors and flowers to a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.003-08:00

I went to Flower Expo and ordered a bouquet for a funeral. I specified the colors I wanted and also the flowers even the ribbon to be placed on it. I asked for blue flowers and specified carnations white in color and the tips dyed blue with palms in the back ground. The owner showed me some flowers he had but I said no because they were not blue they were purple. He assured me he knew exactly what I would like and he would arrange them himself. When I paid for them I also paid delivery for this memorial gave the address to be delivered to got a reciept and left. Well to make my point I was so devestated when I got to the memorial the whole arrangement was with pink roses orange orchids and the flowers I told him were not blue. He refuses to give me a refund and says I should of took them back how many people do you know of that would carry away flowers meant for the dead and tell the family I HAD TO TAKE THEM BACK. Flower Expo 7000 Mgnolia ave Riverside, Calif.92506

How do I make a complaint of a purchase I made. Flower Expo sent the wrong colors and flowers to a funeral?
Since he refuses to give you a refund report his company to the Better Business Bureau.
Reply:If you paid with a credit card you can dispute the charges with your credit card company. You may not get anywhere but at least you will cause him some inconvience. It's worth a shot, at worst you can delay payment for a few months.

Why do we send flowers to a funeral service?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.002-08:00

Because we are crowning someone who made it. We want them to enter the after life (whatever it may mean to the deceased) on a jubilant note.

Why do we send flowers to a funeral service?
A token of our condolances to the family and out of respect for the deceased. Many are left at the grave to "cover" until the flowers die and/or the ground settles.
Reply:Flowers and at a time of Sympathy are representatives of your thoughts and feelings.
Reply:I believe the custom originates from the days when a "viewing" was held in the home of the family of the deceased, and the body could lay in state for a week or more while the family gathered to pay respects and to be present for the official services. Because the methods used to prepare a body for burial were not as advanced in those days, flowers became a common gift for the families of the deceased (the room that the deceased was in was filled with flowers, so the floral scent would overwhelm the scent of the decaying body). A bit morbid, but I do believe this is the origins of the practice.

These days, flowers are simply given out of tradition and to show sympathy for the family and respect for the person who has passed away.
Reply:to pay our respect to the family or deceased or both. its a way to say you care.

Do you want flowers at your funeral?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.001-08:00

saw one today with no flowers kinda sad just interested in what you think ?

Do you want flowers at your funeral?
Heck yeah. I want flowers and a marching band and some of the freaky acrobats from Cirque de Soliei.
Reply:No - it's a bit late to buy me them then!

I do want to be buried where there are lots of trees though so that visitors can appreciate them.
Reply:Sure. I'll be dead so I won't get to see it. Can you get e-mail in heaven?
Reply:Yes, I want flowers at my funeral, but I want to be cremated and scattered over the ocean and then flowers tossed in after.
Reply:Nah, just lots of Whiskey and Wine!!
Reply:Yes, I would want flowers. I would hope the people I rub elbows with would care enough to send something thoughtful like that...but more importantly, I would want a room full of people! I think people taking time out of their day to pay their respects is even more important. So, for my funeral, I would want standing room only, people of every race, a powerpoint, and a sermon on salvation.
Reply:I would want some flowers but I do know some families that only use greenery on top of the casket. Some families request that people make donations to a charity in lieu of flowers.
Reply:For myself, I could care less. I'll be dead, after all. But for the family, yes I do. Understandably, not a huge number of flowers, since many people look at them and think "how much better to donate the money to charity X!" That's true, but if you're going to go that route, skip the whole funeral and donate the money.

Either way, the funeral is for the family; so a reasonable number of flowers is probably the best compromise.
Reply:No. And I don't want people looking at me laying in a casket either. Where ever I am when I die, my family has been instructed to send my body to the nearest crematorium and then spread my ashes of the neatest body of water.
Reply:Absolutely not. Why would I want flowers! I will be dead and won't be able to appreciate them. What a waste of money. Of course you're making the florist happy! If you want to honour me, please make a donation to a charity in memory of me. Now that makes sense and it will benefit somebody that's alive!

gere
Reply:I want BALLOONS I love balloons and I don't want people crying over me or giving me those flowers in thos ugly baskets to throw on top my grave.

Balloons, music dancing and good food. Its a celebration of my life, not a goodbye.
Reply:My will specifies that in lieu of flowers, I would prefer donations would be made to The American Cancer Society, The American Kidney Foundation, or local humane societies. I think any monies spent would do more good at one of these (or other) charitable organizations.
Reply:Some people request donations to a charity instead of flowers. I would like flowers from family, loved ones, and donations to a charity of my choice from associates.
Reply:I want to remain immortal and young looking even after three thousand years.
Reply:Funeral flowers are so overrated -- just give money to build a playground somewhere and cremate me!
Reply:Bring me flowers during my lifetime. Don't bother once I'm dead -- I won't be there to enjoy them!
Reply:flowers or no flowers is okay with me. but i want my ipod turn on with fully charged battery inside my coffin with the earphone on.

with the selected folder, full of my fave songs.
Reply:No, I can't appreciate them so why waste them.

I'd rather someone planted a tree for me.
Reply:No thanks. No funeral. Just a bunch of friends and family. Lots of beer, liquor and music as they toss my ashes over the cliff.
Reply:Not really, i wouldnt want flowers to be killed just for the purpose of my funeral. I want a crazy funeral, like pop music and people dressed in pink.
Reply:hmmm, that's odd. Yes, I definitely want flowers at my funeral. Traditionally, the family splits up the planters afterwards and it is another way or remembering those who have passed.
Reply:No. Donate the money to my kid's college education fund instead! lol
Reply:To be honest with you I like the design,but I will be gone so it won't make much of a difference and spending so much money on me when Iam not really around to see,to me seems kind of worthless and that money could go towards something else! I would appreciate the thought and care,and I understanding wanting to feel comfortable and the area nice and busy,but it doesn't bother me that much.
Reply:I will be cremated and my ashes spread over Wrigley Field.

No flowers but you may drink a budweiser in my honor.
Reply:Wouldnt bother me as i would be dead but probably nice for grieving relatives to lighten proceedings a little--if you have any
Reply:i don't want a funeral at all - just cremated and my ashes spread on my wife's Corn Flakes
Reply:If it is my funeral, I must assume that I am dead and do not care what earthly rituals are performed or how my body is dispersed of or if there are flowers and any kind of ornamentation....so no I don't really care, to me it is just a way of the florists to make money on the grieving of the loved ones left behind...just my humble opinion.
Reply:Yes of course! Giving flowers is a show of love.
Reply:I don't even want flowers now, let alone when I can't enjoy them. I think FTD is a great big scam!!!

On the other hand, my wife loves flowers, and thinks a gift of flowers is just wonderful!

So, since she'll be there alive to enjoy your flowers, yes, send them. Thanks!

I'd rather go enjoy our back-yard garden, and decorate with undying silk flowers, and give the room the scent of flowers via air freshening Pot Pouree.
Reply:Yes. pink ones.
Reply:well one or kind a nice but if over loaded would be waste of money, I remember my father funeral 4 years ago I know it is emotional time so my older brother start pick out a bunch of flower the total cost was about $2000.00 and there a bunch more flowers from friend I think that is a wasted of money.

Request money instead of flowers for a funeral - need polite and proper wording?

2011-11-19T02:20:00.000-08:00

I have read some posts on here where individuals believe it is rude to request money for a funeral. I did not learn of the practice of giving the gift of money until my grandmother had passed away, and I cannot tell you how much the funds assisted with paying for everything involved to properly lay her to rest; as she did not have insurance.

My question is, how do I politiely and properly request individuals give money? I have a friend who just lost her son on Christmas Day. He was sick for many years (and un-insurable), they do not have much money and are talking about taking out a home equity loan to try and pay for a proper funeral. They do have two other children to think of as well and I'd like to do whatever I can to ensure those who wish to pay their respects do so with a donation to the family instead of flowers. PLEASE HELP!

Request money instead of flowers for a funeral - need polite and proper wording?
Funerals and weddings are private family affairs. No family should feel obliged to host a grand occasion that they cannot afford. There are ways to cut costs for the funeral and burial (for example, cremation is much less expensive) which they should discuss with their pastor and with the funeral director.
Reply:I agree with deble. Say "...in lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to:" If you say, "memorials" it sounds better than "monetary gifts" and people will still know what you're talking about.
Reply:Just say something like...in lieu of flowers, memorials may be sent to: (set up a bank account somewhere to help pay the final costs...I see this in the paper in my area all the time...people will know what to do when they read that.)
Reply:Has the obit been published in the local paper yet? If not it could be mentioned in there that "it is suggested that monetary gifts be sent in lieu of flowers to the family" or some such. I've seen it done before. I don't think it's greedy, I'm sure when people find out the circumstances of the death and the family they will be happy to do what is best.
Reply:In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorials to xxxx, or xxxx.

Some people will feel uncomfortable giving money directly to the family, so have an alternative - perhaps a charity for what he had. A trust has to be set up for living people - so perhaps a trust for the other two children could be the alternative.

A local bank will usually be willing to set up a special account to receive money for funeral expenses. This should not be put in the obit. If there is going to be an article in the paper about him - that would be an appropriate place. You can also communicate their desires via phone if you speak to anyone directly.
Reply:Lately I have seen a lot more people asking for their lasting memories to be considered donated to the (person who passed) fund sent up at a bank.

This may seem tacky to those who did not know the deceased and their situation. Those who were close will understand.

I know I did not word the first part correctly, but I hope it helps.

I am also sorry for you and your friends loss- you are in my heart.
Reply:I really don't think there is an appropriate way to ask for money. If they have family members then they should ask THEM. If you are handling it then you ask them. They should stick together. They are the ones who should chip in ... not friends and outside people. That's just not appropriate to me.
Reply:Just tell the individuals about the situation, and I'm sure they would be more than happy to give money instead of flowers. I don't think that it would be that hard to do so. Just tell them exactly what you said on here, and if they have any heart at all, they will understand.
Reply:They may "need it" but handing an envelope to with money to anyone can create an uncomfortable situation for both the giver and receiver.

I agree that wording such as "In lieu of flowers a monetary gift can be sent to XXX." Not everyone will follow it, but it's a possibility.

While I realize that they may be in a financial hardship you cannot hold out an expectation that everyone will want or be willing to donate - but those that do will most likely want to do it discretely and away from the prying eye of others at the funeral.
Reply:In lieu of flowers, the family request that donations be made to xxx.

I would hope that most people who attend the funeral would know about the family's hardship with the cost of burial. Sometimes "word of mouth", will help spread the word.

Also, if their is a 211 info line in your state, there are charitable organization that help with funeral expenses.

Also, you could try a bereavement envelope.

Good luck with helping them

Sorry for your loss
Reply:look i just buried my brother last month the casket alone was almost 8,000.00 he was tall and wide so i had to get a specially made casket. the cost to open the grave was 1400.00 . the church was 300.00 . the pallbearers were 50.00 a piece blah blah blah the entire funeral cost over 12,000.00 he also had no insurance, no wife no kids. if you need the money than ask the funeral director to post it in the newspaper, many times the mourners call the funeral parlor to ask about which florist to use.... say money.... pass the word to one good friend and tell them to spread the word. there is no time for embarassament or shame. it's not a matter of doing above your means as some snob on here suggested .... everything costs money and to these vendors it is just a business, supply and demand. my sympathies to the mother who lost her child and applause to you for trying to help her. no matter how long the sickness was it is never easy to let them go.
Reply:I think this is not an unreasonable thing, but the etiquette issue comes into play if you approach it as an expectation that anyone will do anything (send flowers, donate, etc.) Of course, most WILL, but etiquette only requires personal expressions of sympathy. The flowers and other things are officially "unexpected" and understood to be given freely as an outpouring of comfort and respect for the deceased and the family. That said, the way to get out the word is to do it informally (that is, verbally and not in writing), and perhaps to let the people you call know that you will provide a basket at the back of the parlor, with cards, pen, and envelopes for those who wish to LEAVE AN EXPRESSION OF SYMPATHY AND SUPPORT (that is, help with funeral expenses.)

If YOU do it FOR the family, and approach it as an informal thing by putting the bug in everyone's ear verbally beforehand, providing a convenient means, etc., then the family isn't seen as begging, or looking to benefit from the death (some would suggest that).

Often I have seen a trust account set up for things like this, or to cover the cost of a suit to bury someone in one, who doesn't have one. A trust account at a bank is a way to make sure the money doesn't end up accidentally in someone's pocket and used for something other than the intended purpose (sorry to make these kinds of statements, but it happens). Setting up a trust account for the funeral expenses is not hard to do, but it does require an attorney to sign off the paperwork. If you or someone else close to the family has an attorney who can do this, then you can just put the trust thing in the newspaper obit, or even on little cards at the visitation, again, either at the back of the parlor, or even by the guest book.

Hope this helps. I think in a situation like you've described, this is NOT inappropriate, and can be handled in a low-key, thoughtful way. In fact, where I come from, everyone who can afford to do so includes a $10 or a $20 in their sympathy card. We assume there are expenses the family will need help with, and that a death either results in not only expenses, but a loss of income or labor. I come from a low-income, rural area, where everyone who can offer a hand does so, when needed, and most of the time everyone knows the situation anyway.

Hope that helps.

Start java

Flowers for a babies funeral?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.008-08:00

my cousin just had a still born really hard tym she is only 18 so its hard to deal wit arrangin a funeral

ive told her ill help out n get the flowers for the funeral n get afew single loose roses or sumthin too just wanted to kno wat flowers r best for a babies funeral if u could tell me that would be great

Flowers for a babies funeral?
White flowers are the sign of purity. And, a newborn is the epitomy of that. Otherwise, ask the mother what flowers she would have in mind for her baby. This is so heartbreaking - and you are a wonderful support in your cousin's life. What a wonderful thing you are doing! Have a healthy and happy leap year!
Reply:when my son pased the flower shop did it for me. call them
Reply:The most extreme situation I have ever been acquainted with is when I was running a non profit organization that fed the poor and more.

A man and his son came in and wanted to donate to our Christmas give away but first they wanted me to know about the circumstances. I will try to relay what they told me.

The younger man had a daughter. She died very young. They asked that no one bring flowers but send toys to the funeral. After the services the father and grandfather came directly to me with a truckload of stuffed stuff from the proceedings. I was in tears because, it was amazing that they would even have the mental capacity to think like this in the middle of their grieving. With their story, I was whole heartily dedicated to getting these donations to kids that really needed help to find the meaning of Christmas. I told some of the parents about the hows and where fores so that they could give the presents their due respect..

This donation effected me and many others in ways that could not be priced. Encouraging others through this story is only the tip of the benefits..

life can be short. Let's make the most of it.
Reply:Sorry for the loss. I only know that carnations are considered a funeral flower. Hope that helped a little bit.
Reply:it depends on how much money you have. All flowers are appropriate except for red roses. If you have a wholesale floral market near you, just go in and check out the prices. If you don't, go into a florist and ask what kind of a deal they can give you and for what.

It isn't summer, so cost is going to be high. Daffodils are coming in, and they're a sign of spring and rebirth. If she has a church service, it would be a nice flower. Lilies too, but armloads of lilies are going to put a crimp in your budget.

you don't want to add to the stress by overdoing on the flowers and putting yourself in debt.

I agree with the other person, a grave blanket (of flowers) is nice.
Reply:Baby's Breath, Lilies of the Valley, White Roses and white Carnation's would all be appropriate. Your local florist would be able to make suggestions, too.

Such a sad time for all of you, I hope you are very understanding of her emotional mood swings and keep a close watch on her during this difficult time.
Reply:ask your cousin what she would like. the funeral director could also handle everything for you. or you could ask him/her what is appropriate. a nice blanket of flowers that covers the casket would be very nice.
Reply:I would go to a floweriest and ask them what they normal sell to funerals. Explain the situation and go with what they say. I think it will make it easier for the family if they don't have to worry about another thing for the funeral. I am sorry about your lose.
Reply:lillys

An old friend's mother passed away and her funeral is today? I want to bring flowers or something...?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.007-08:00

but I don't know if that's something I should do at the funeral? Should I leave it in my car and wait till afterwards? Do I bring flowers to my friend? Help!! If I do bring flowers... what kind do I bring?

An old friend's mother passed away and her funeral is today? I want to bring flowers or something...?
Calling the florist and having a live plant delivered to your friends home would probably be the best idea. It's always difficult to take flowers to a funeral.

A donation to the mother's favorite charity is a nice gesture, too. The charity will notify the family of the donation.
Reply:Find out if the family would rather have a donation to a specific charity in place of flowers.
Reply:Lost BIL recently and I can't tell you how many flowers they had. They are beautiful, but we had to keep stepping outside for fresh air because the allergies were kicking in. Find out if the family requests donations. It means a lot more and it has a longer lasting effect.
Reply:flowers
Reply:Call a flower shop. If you buy flowers the flower shop can deliver them for you. It doesn't have to be flowers. They have some very nice plants available. I received a planter when my brother died and I still have the plants. For me it's a way to remember that even after death life goes on.
Reply:You should keep the flowers and give them to her after the funeral, or take them to her home and give them to her there. During the funeral enough will be happening and she won't be able to keep track of flowers and plants, etc. Lilies are always a good choice.
Reply:No. Flowers are nice, but alot of people give flowers. However, money in the memory of your friends mom is always appreciated, it helps to pay for funeral expenses.

What is the best gift to give someone for a funeral, besides flowers?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.006-08:00

Think of the interests of the deceased. Were they an animal lover? Did they battle a disease? Make a donation in the name of the deceased or the deceased's family to an organization that would be fitting. Something like the American Heart Association, American Cancer Society, World Wildlife Fund, etc. Any notion that you are also thinking of the deceased will be a very nice gesture to the family and they will appreciate it.

What is the best gift to give someone for a funeral, besides flowers?
i just went to the funeral of a girl who i used to work with... she died young in a car accident, and her parents were very religious and faithful.. they were also very close to her...

i know most ppl give flowers, but i really felt like i needed to give them something different... so, i went to my local hallmark, and found a very nice porcelain cross... it was about 12' x11', and came with a nice stand.. and on the cross it said,

" loved ones are closer to god in his garden, than anywhere on earth"... you could find some lil keepsake like that thats inspirational.. it iwll be appreciated.
Reply:A donation in the person's name.
Reply:how about making them a few food dishes they could freeze and reheat? im sure the deceased loved ones arent in much mood to eat much less cook
Reply:a shoulder to cry on...
Reply:Take a prepared meal to their home.
Reply:The best gift to give is an open ear and the time to fill it.
Reply:You give gifts!!!! this isn't exactly a bd party...

If you must give something give a living green plant that represents life and will live on after the person is in the ground.
Reply:A friend a bottle of tequilla and a casserole
Reply:A sympathy card? Money to help with final expenses. i'm not real sure.
Reply:Plants, because flowers die.

The last thing they need is one more dead thing.

In Poland when someone passes away do people generally send flowers to the funeral ?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.005-08:00

I hope this was specific enough ..

In Poland when someone passes away do people generally send flowers to the funeral ?
they usually come to the funeral bringing flowers with them

only close family send flowers before or people who cannot come personally
Reply:yes they do
Reply:think yes.
Reply:Generally YES, It's a very good idea, but they also call or talk to them in person, giving them their condolences.
Reply:I have no idea.But I like the thing they do.U can't find that in Japan, I mean in my country.

shoes stock

What can i write on a card for funeral flowers that are for a very dear friend that i didn't see for 4 years

2011-11-19T02:19:00.004-08:00

i lost touch with my friend when she moved a few years ago and i had made it my new years resolution to find her again this year. unfortunately i left it too long and found out last week that she had a heartattack and sadly passed on leaving a teenage son.

What can i write on a card for funeral flowers that are for a very dear friend that i didn't see for 4 years
for someone im glad i had the pleasure of knowing. sadly it is too late to say what i want to say but in my heart i know you hear my voice. rest peacefully my friend
Reply:sorry to hear the sad news . take care
Reply:I missed you then and I definetly missed you now!

:)
Reply:She isn't really gona read the card now is she? U should do that stuff when ppl r alive...not with the intention of making u feel bad. From now on you'll know better. Anyway here it goes...

..For a dear friend lost, condolances to the family left behind. I wish we had more time.
Reply:I was going to suggest something but Akfriendanch's suggestion is pretty much what I was going to say. I say you work on what she has written, it seems pretty sincere.
Reply:I am sorry you lost your friend...even though you lost contact, it must definitely hurt!

I would suggest you tell the truth - tell family in card that your friend was special, that you thought of her often and are sorry you lost contact. Then say something like: I know there is really nothing i can do to ease your pain/sense of loss, and words don't really suffice, but if I can do anything for you'all - please don't hesitate to ask. Then say you will keep your friend in your prayers and heart always...Hope this is some help.

Babies funeral question about flowers?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.003-08:00

Is it appropriate to send flowers to an Islamic funeral or family after a death in the family?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.002-08:00

Co-worker is Islamic and her aunt just died. Our department wants to do something appropriate to show our support for her. Any suggsestions would be greatly appreciated.

Is it appropriate to send flowers to an Islamic funeral or family after a death in the family?
Dear reader i don't think the question here is about what's appropriate or not,i think it's more about the sentiment and how it flows into people's heart,people's soul.

if you send flowers it will be a respect of two cultures one that doesn't know what to do to appeal to the other but tries by having flowers sent, i am sure good will will be understood and highly appriciated,and that person will know that out there beyond the realm of family and relatives there people who do Really care in a world where people pretend that they do ,you have a complete and pure heart towards that person,and that will always be clear regardless of the religion at hand.

wish you all the best
Reply:I don't see why sending flowers would be wrong.

It shows you care and are there for her.

That's all that matters.
Reply:Of course, flowers would be very thoughtful.
Reply:Yes, maybe a plant would be another choice. I know that they would appreciate the thoughtfulness.

I would like to send a thank you to fellow co-workers who contributed to funeral cost, flowers and dining.?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.001-08:00

Send the co worker the note. Thank them for being there for you and for sending flowers. Thank them for the money and the food. Tell them how much you appreciated it and how it helped you and you will never forget their kindness. Tell them that they made a tough time easier for you.

I would like to send a thank you to fellow co-workers who contributed to funeral cost, flowers and dining.?
I think it would be appreciated. You can send a note saying that their thoughtfulness and kind gestures were appreciated and helped you though a rough time. My condolences to you.
Reply:that's a good idea. you should just write exactly what you just said - something like "thank you for the flowers for my ____'s funeral".
Reply:Not exactly a question, but yes, do it. It's the proper thing to do.

Fillings

Do you buy flowers for a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:19:00.000-08:00

one of my friends Matt died in a car crash last week and his funeral is on friday iv asked a friend for the number of the place doing the flowers but he never got back to me and i dont want to ask matts mum as shes got lots more on her mind, so now the funerals in 2 days and i dont know what to do, if i buy a bunch of flowers what ones should i get or should i just not take anything? i dont want to turn up trying to find somwhere to put the flowers? but dnt want to turn up with nothing and be insulting, i have been fortunate enough never to have had to gone to any other funerals so am unsure what to do?

Thanks

Do you buy flowers for a funeral?
I am so sorry for the loss of your friend Matt. I totally agree with BetsyB on this. She has some very good advise. I have just buried my second husband and one of the nicest things (concerning flowers) that anyone did for me was to plant a tree in his honor. Maybe you could plant a tree at his mom's house for her in Matt's honor. Just be there for each other and talk about the good times you had with your friend. It will be good for you and Matt's mom will be glad you were a good friend. Bless you, dear one.
Reply:For funerals, there is not "A florist" that does the flowers. Everyone just calls the florist they want. Sometimes there can be 3-5 different florist represented. Just call a florist in the area and don't bother anyone with the specifics.
Reply:dont worry about flowers. your presence is enough.
Reply:TELL A FLORIST THE SITUTATION THEY WILL KNOW ....FLOWERS CAN BE A BLESSING.
Reply:Everytime I've ever ordered flowers for a funeral, I just go to a florist, tell them how much I want to spend %26amp; where to take them. They will do the rest. They will let you sign a card or they will sign your name for you. It's pretty simple. If the family of the deceased has requested that donations be made to a cause in lieu of flowers, then do that. If that is what they wish, then find out what "cause", contact them (the organization) and give them whatever donation you wish %26amp; request that they let the family know that you did this in lieu of flowers.

Sorry about your friend...hang in there.
Reply:My funeral director has been instructed to put in my death notice that in lieu of flowers, please donate to my favorite animal charity.
Reply:If you have the money, you could call a florist and have them deliver some flowers, if not send a note to the family recalling some good times you shared with Matt.
Reply:When you find out where the funeral is, as the funeral home where the nearest florist is. The florist usually has arrangements already made. They can send something over immediately. A lot of people contact the funeral home to find a florist. When the florist delivers, the funeral director will find a place to put them. When my Grandfather died, the wake was for 2 days. Flowers kept coming and coming in from the local florist. It was quite nice.
Reply:I don't buy flowers because with that money for something that dies, I can make a lasting gift of a donation. Buy a sympathy card. Write a note to his parents on the white left hand side about the best things you liked doing with Matt and you together. Then write a check, or go to Western Union or a bank or Amscott or your parents and have a check for $25 written. If the obit didn't say, " Donations to Name Charity may be made in his name, or Donations to a charity of one's choice may be made in Matt's name, then tell them that you are making this donation in Matt's name to .....the Athletic/Art/Whatever Department at your school. You get the idea? Sorry for your loss. Makes better drivers of young people, doesn't it? Many of us have been through it.
Reply:I agree about your presence being enough. I never send flowers anymore. They don't last, and most people don't know what to do with all that they get. Now, I send a nice green plant---not a flowering one, because they don't last either.

Or I give money in a card. But best of all would be a letter to his mom. And you can send that even after the funeral. When my son died, the mom of one of his friends wrote me the nicest letter telling me of the times my son was at her house and what she remembered of him. And a friend of his handed me a letter he had written about the fun times they had together. I remember those things more than who gave what flowers.

I'm sorry for your loss of a friend.
Reply:Call the funeral home sometimes they want you to make a donation to a organization or church. The funeral home should know this information.
Reply:the way it seems to be done, is you find out the funeral home/church where ever funeral/family night is going to be held send flowers. they are usually all in one big room with the casket. then when they take the body to the graveyard they usually have a flower car that takes all the flowers the family bought or have been sent by other. that is how it happen every time i have been to a funeral.
Reply:If this was a good friend, then you should be focusing on your own mourning and not fussing over etiquette. There is plenty of time to express your condolences in flowers or some other format later: right now, your simple presence at the funeral will be the most healing thing for you and for his family.

If you really feel the need to provide flowers, contact a florist yourself and have them deliver the package. Do not show up at the funeral home or church with a bouquet in hand.

I think, though, that Matt's family will have recieved enough flowers. Prepare a letter to him saying your goodbyes and how much you loved him and place it in his casket (if you can); otherwise, give it to his mother or another relative to be buried with him or to be read by his parents at a later date. This will be a gift to him, to his family, and to yourself.
Reply:Of course, it's a very caring gesture to bring flowers as it represents symbolically, the vibrant life of the deceased and it comforts the family to see visible signs of sympathy. You would place your flowers near the casket or around the alter of the church. Even a simple wildflower bouquet in a plain vase is acceptable. It depends on what you can afford, but anything is better than nothing!
Reply:You have a few options.

1. Don't send anything. Just show up. Matt's mum will be very happy to see you.

2. Send flowers to the funeral home with a note. You can do this through a florist. You don't need to bring them with you. In fact, it is probably better that the florist deliver them. The funeral director knows what to do with the flowers once they arrive.

3. You can send a card to Matt's mum with a check for a sum you think is appropriate. She can use the check for whatever she wants. I did this many years ago when an uncle passed away. My aunt used the money to put it towards his headstone.

4. You can send a check with a sum you can afford to one of many charities in Matt's name. The charity will ask you for Matt's mum's address. She will receive notification that you donated money in Matt's name.

I hope these suggestions help you.

I am very sorry for your loss.
Reply:♥ ♥ sorry about your friend... you can just call any florist they will help you decide what to send and they will send it to the mortuary for you... so dont worry... remember too that they will probably get flowers so maybe instead go to a nursery or store and buy a nice small house plant and include a gift of money in a nice card... there are alot of expenses in a funeral and most people are not prepared for that...♥ ♥
Reply:for the view nah but for the buriel yeah you should

Is it a really bad thing not to give flowers at a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.007-08:00

Hi, I am going to a funeral this afternoon, one of my close friends mum has died.

I only have £15 pounds left till fri(pay day), after the funeral later on my friend has mentiioned we go to watch Manu chelsea, so i'm in a bit of delema, do I buy flower and not be with him in the evening or get flower and say I cant make it to the pub?

Is it a really bad thing not to give flowers at a funeral?
A friend of mine lost his mum a few weeks ago.He said his father was surrounded by flowers at home and didn't know what to do with them.So, I gave a donation towards a park bench that the family is buying in her memory instead.

When I came out of hospital a few years ago, I had so many flowers that the smell made me feel sick.I felt awful but had to get rid of them.

Go the to funeral and support your mate.Then, go to the footie.Life is for the living buddy, so go and enjoy.x
Reply:No it's not and many people attend funerals and not bring flowers, in fact where I am it is usually only family and very close friends, or a little group who put together that give flowers. Also many Catholics believe more in giving Mass Cards. The priest should say a mass just when requested but it is normal to put a donation inside a card but around £5 would be fine. I would however take a card, depending on their religion like a Sympathy Card and put your words of condolences on it.
Reply:Its not necessary to bring flowers, there will be enough there already, I doubt one missing bouquet would make a difference. If you feel bad about this donate the cost of the flowers to charity once you get paid on Friday, I remember we asked for no flowers for my dads funeral, he was getting cremated so there was no point, and asked for any money for flowers to go to charity instead.

Instead give your friend the support he needs and join him to watch the match later. I know at times like this he'll crave a bit of normality, the match may not be the best thing for him to be doing, but it'll be good to have a friend there with him to support him at this time.
Reply:If it is the same lad whose mum has just died that you are going the pub with then I'd say support your friend and go the pub.

Some people do specify family flowers only or no flowers but donations to charity/hospice, if she died from say cancer send them a donation when you get paid, or go with your friend to visit the grave in a few weeks and take flowers then,(the funeral ones will be dead by then).

If you explain the situation with your friend I'm sure he'll understand he will have more on his mind than noticing who did or didn't bring flowers.
Reply:if you absolutely feel that you should bring something, then consider bringing a small plant instead of flowers. small plants in a pot live longer and could be a better symbol than a flower which is cut and will wither soon anyway. a small green plant could mean something like the memories of the deceased will live on forever.
Reply:Flowers are a waste at a funeral. It's nothing but show. What's the use of giving them to a dead person who obviously can't even see them?

It's better you give your friend company later on... he'll feel a lot better.

Your presence at the funeral will be enough. Pray for her soul and that will be more than the value of a million bouquets.
Reply:Its absolutely okay, I have made stipulations in my will that no flowers (even though I love them) would rather people donate to a charity on their behalf, dont feel bad about it, its ok! That way you can do it when you can afford it! hope that helps, sorry for yours and your friends loss.
Reply:I think you should save your money and go the the pub with your friend later- and then ask if there is a particular charity that your friend's Mum supported so you can make a donation to them in her name- which you can do after you've been paid
Reply:Many now prefer donations to a particular charity/hospice of their choice, rather than cut flowers. So it is appropriate to ask what they would prefer before sending any.

I think your presence at the funeral is far more important than the floral tribute.
Reply:Your best gift would be to be there for your friend. So save the money so you can be with your friend later. There's probably alot of funeral flowers there already so no big deal.

My condolences to your friend and his family.
Reply:There is no law that says you must buy flowers. Just being there is enough. Flowers just lay on the ground and die. Give a donation to any charity in that persons name when you have some money. Far more effective than flowers.
Reply:it is optional to give flowers.

I also have a funeral this afternoon the person being buried i hate but i am going to support the deceaseds wife because she's a really nice lady :)
Reply:Do not ever buy flowers for a funeral. It is such a waste of money. The person you are buying them for is dead. Flowers are for the living.
Reply:In the circumstances don't be buying flowers keep the money and meet up with your friend later he will be glad of the company.
Reply:no need to waste money on flowers. the family will just be glad of your support. maybe buy him a drink in the pub instead and propose a toast to the departed?
Reply:I don't think flowers are expected these days - and do you really think the family will notice if you don't give any? Go watch the match and enjoy yourself.
Reply:Not necessary to buy flowers - your friend will just be happy with your presence and support
Reply:let's celebrate death by murdering some flowers - I will never understand that stupid tradition!
Reply:go with him,,they will respect you for leaning at their side first before what ever you wished to plan to go to..time is not long there to show th comfort they will need..thats what friends are for...
Reply:RUH ROH RAGGY....thats RUDEY RUDEY RUUUUUDE!!!!!
Reply:Just going to the funeral and showing your support would be enough for me, you don't need to get flowers.
Reply:no
Reply:You don't need to buy flowers maybe a mass card, just going to the funeral and paying your respects are enough

My Uncle died and i want to get him a some flowers for his funeral, what are considered appropriate and manly?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.006-08:00

Well i didnt really know my uncle that well and he lives a about 5 hours away but i met him at UAB (Hospital in Alabama) when he was having a balloon operation. When i went to visit him he said i should go fishing with him at his house because he had catfish, bass, and cropie in his ponds. He really seemed to like me the moment he saw me. Reminded him of his little brother (my dad). He knew i loved being outdoors. Well, he died a few hours ago and i wanted to send or take a few (like 2-5) flowers to his funeral with a fishing jig tied on it, because its the only memory i really have of him, sounds stupid, but i think it would really mean alot to him if he was still here. (if it helps he was close to 80 years old.)

p.s. please respond fast

My Uncle died and i want to get him a some flowers for his funeral, what are considered appropriate and manly?
It doesn't sound stupid.It's a lovely thought and he would appreciate it,I'm sure.

Sunflowers are manly and so are daisy's.Carnations would also be appropriate for a man.

Sorry for your loss but happy you got to know him and that the two of you became friends quickly.
Reply:pick some flowers yourself, there aren't really any manly flowers I can think of, it doesn't matter anyways just pick roses, marigolds, lilys, and some Japanese maple leaves, beautiful, and I am soooo sorry about your uncle, hold up, won't you? :-)
Reply:Talk to a florist and perhaps provide them with a couple fishing lures and explain to them what you wuold like ,those folfs really understand and seem to always come up with a very nice and appropriate arrangement
Reply:we put sunflowers on my uncles grave, because it was his favorite flower. He had them all around his house
Reply:It's a personal thang. If it makes you feel good do it. He'd get a smile from it I bet. With sympathy sincere. Wishing you happier days ahead.
Reply:Firstly my condolences, it is wonderful to take flowers to your uncle's funeral, if you feel that is not manly, which trust me is manly. Organise a florist to send your flowers to the funeral/cemetery. Any flower is appropriate. My son took some ferns out of a garden to his Nana's funeral, its the thought that counts.

When someone passes away, how do you send flowers to the funeral home?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.005-08:00

order them from the florist they will deliver

When someone passes away, how do you send flowers to the funeral home?
Call your florist , they will take care of it...
Reply:Order them from a florist and get the address of the funeral home, and bam your done.
Reply:Just contact any flower shop, give them the name of th efuneral home, th ename of the deceased, and the town the funeral home is in, and they will take care of it. You can pay with credit card of course.
Reply:Order them from the florist and tell them the address of the funeral home and who's funeral it's for. They will make sure they get there.
Reply:Make sure you know the correct funeral home, and then go to a local florist, and have them sent to the funeral home...also make sure you put the families name on it, or the name of the deceased.......like in loving memory of...... that way if there are 2 or more funerals at the same time, or in close time, they will go to the correct one.
Reply:you find out the name of the funeral home so when you go to the florist and buy the flowers they will know where to deliver them. don't forget to sign the card and write down your heart felt condolences.
Reply:call any floral shop, tell them you want flowers for a funeral, tell them approx. how much you would like to spend, they will ask you the name of the funeral home and the deceased. They will be able to walk you threw everything.

apply for a loan

How to make funeral flower arrangements?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.004-08:00

I want to learn how to make funeral flower arrangements

How to make funeral flower arrangements?
take a flower arranging class - most community colleges offer these types of non-credited courses.
Reply:fortunately people are getting away from the old fashioned spider mums and stargazer lilies! what type are you thinking - those for the altar, the grave blanket or the wreaths and soffin throws -- all that comes from a school that has a floral program unless you can get in with a small town older florist who'd willing to take on interns.

Funeral....Flowers...Money?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.003-08:00

My husbands friends dad just passed away...and in our family its always been to send flowers or a card with some money in it...To help with everything...IS this rude or the right thing to do??

Funeral....Flowers...Money?
No that is totally appropriate and very caring.
Reply:Well, you said "it's always been", sooo...no, not to them, anyway.

Where can I find rosary beads made from funeral flowers in massachusetts?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.002-08:00

at the dollar store

Where can I find rosary beads made from funeral flowers in massachusetts?
You'll probably have to make them yourself!

Etiquette question, thank you notes, funeral flowers,food, etc.?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.001-08:00

we had a death in the family. some thank you notes need to be sent. i know notes are sent for people giving flowers and food. what about for people who send sympathy cards? are thank you notes supposed to be sent to them? i assume , no. is this correct?

Etiquette question, thank you notes, funeral flowers,food, etc.?
Write an ad in the local paper thanking everyone for their sympathy and kindness. You were very thoughtful to send notes to those who sent food and flowers and I'm sure you thanked them at the time. People love to give their support and do not want any thank you for it because we all know what its like to lose a loved one.
Reply:I'd write: I appreciate your affection towards our familie's loss
Reply:Thank you notes are for common courtesy. If you do not want to send out a thank you card to those who sent cards then, why don't you just call them and give them a personal Thank you.
Reply:you should acknowledge anything nice that was done for you by anyone. You should send to everyone attending the funeral and/or wake. It can be a chore but people will undersand if it takes you a bit to get them out.
Reply:I don't know the formality, but if I were to send a card, I wouldn't expect a thank you note.
Reply:thank you notes for flowers, food, and cards are appropriate. Just be kind,

"thank you for the card you sent, i appreciate you support" something like that is appropriate.
Reply:Not for the cards, unless they had a contribution in them. The ad in the paper answer is a good one, if there were a very large number of folks who attended the service. God Bless You, my condolences to your family.
Reply:You don't have to send a thank you note for a sympathy card. But if they wrote something personal/supportive inside you may want to send one. It need not be elaborate or lengthy at all. The newspaper idea is good to. That way it will cover everyone who sent cards and notes of sympathy without you having to send dozens of thank yous. Personally, when I send a letter of condolence, I do not expect a thank you since that is usually the last thing you want to do after losing a loved one. You might just thank them in person when you see them and save yourself the trouble.
Reply:The people that sent you the cards obviously took the time to send the cards, there for you need to take the time to thank them for their sympathy in your time of need.

safety boots

What are alternatives to sending flowers for a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:18:00.000-08:00

Making a donation to charities the family has designated, or in some cases money can be donated directly to the family to help cover any cost left on medical, and funeral expenses.

What are alternatives to sending flowers for a funeral?
Donation to a charity of the family choice
Reply:If you know the departed had a strong interest in a specific charity or cause (such as the united way or space exploration, etc.) you could make a donation of money or time in memorial. You could inform the family by sending a card:

"In honor of Frank, and in hopes of continuing his good work, A memorial donation has been made to the Salvation Army in his name. "

Some Charities will even send the notification or card on their own letterhead.
Reply:I once heard someone got a fruit basket but flowers to me seem the only thing appropriate. Especially, if you just lost a loved one, I doubt you feel like digging your face into some fruit.

Funeral etiquette - flowers etc.?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.009-08:00

Sadly my grandma (on my dad's side) passed away this week. The funeral is next Wednesday and tomorrow is the first opportunity I will have to go to the florist, so I'm not sure if they'll arrive on time if sent by the florist. My dad was also a little unsure about where to have them sent to. Is it OK to take the wreath/flowers with me on the day - which would mean taking them to the church service first? I asked my dad and he said this was fine but wasn't sure if it would be viewed as OK by others. Also, I want to write a poem but will not be reading it out at the service. Will it be acceptable to place this down with the flowers? Thanks.

Funeral etiquette - flowers etc.?
As it is a funeral of a member of your family, you can do as you wish. If you want to take the flowers with you, then you can. If you want to get them delivered to the church, or the Funeral Directors, you can. The poem is a lovely idea and of course it can go with the flowers. If the service is next Wednesday, then there is plenty of time for the florist to make up the bouquet/display you want and get it delivered to the funeral directors.

Hope all goes as well as it can.
Reply:You can have them delivered to the funneral home or location. They will have the flowers placed in the room of service. A florist will put a rush job on it if you tell them what the reason the flowers are for. Most flowers are delivered in 24 hours anyways.
Reply:The flowers should get there on time, send them to the funeral home where she is at the moment, they will take them there for you. The poem is a lovely idea, just tuck it inside of the flowers.

I left a poem with my dads flowers when he passed away, quite frankly, at the time, i didnt give a damn what anyone else thought, its what I wanted to do, so I did it.

God bless.

xx
Reply:momo is spot on , the flowers will be sent to the funeral home and if you write a poem it will be totally acceptable to leave it with the flowers ...at times like these etiquette doesn't come into it ..afterall you are grieving .i'm sorry for your loss x
Reply:If you order flowers they usually get sent to the funeral home or the home where the hearse is leaving from. If you tell the florist the date and time, they will get it there in time. Also a poem is a lovely idea.

Sorry for your loss. x
Reply:My condolensences go out to you and your family. You still do have enough time to get the flowers delievered to the funeral home or church. But....if you prefer to take the flowers before the service, and place a poem there also that would fine too. Just make sure you are there in plenty of time where you can do it before people start filing in for services. I think you're idea of writing a poem is very touching and nice. God bless you and your family in this time of need.
Reply:You have my sympathy dear. The florist will send the flower wherever you wish and it is so sweet of you to write a poem. You are a very good person and your Dad will appreciate the effort.
Reply:Hi, Sorry for your loss.

I lost my dad just over 2 years ago... If you want to take the flowers yourself then thats fine and a poem is an excellent idea. I wrote one for my dad. Dont worry about what other people think. Im sure it'll be the last thing on there mind...

take care
Reply:yesyou can take flowers with you on the day lillys are best flowers for funerals ..and they last long......it also depends on what you want you could even carry a single rose
Reply:My grandma passed away last September.

Once you have decided on the flowers, you can get them delivered to the funeral directors, and they will then put them in the hearse that carries the coffin. The funeral cortege will then take them where necessary and will take them to where she will get burried.

You can also then place your poem on the coffin, once she is lowerd into the ground.

Sorry for your loss.
Reply:You will have plenty of time to order flowers and have them sent to the funeral home. Just give them the date and time and they will take care of the rest. As for the poem, it is a great idea. Sorry to hear of the loss of your grandmother.
Reply:Would your grandma like you to bring flowers?
Reply:It's most appropriate to inter a poem with your grandma, actually. My father placed something very special to him in with my mother's mother, and I did the same thing. Anything written may be read, and if it's really between you and your grandmother it's best to keep it private by giving it to her directly.

By the way, have you considered NOT going to a florist? Name your grandmother's favorite charity and ask people do donate there as opposed to flowers. I've noticed it's a growing trend with two benefits: it spreads good deeds and is much easier on grieving allergy sufferers.

Regardless, please accept my condolences. Your concern is touching and impressive.
Reply:Plenty of time to have flowers/wreath delivered from florist to where funeral service is being held. A poem is a great idea and the Florist will be happy to do what you wish with it. Only thing I'd say is to check with whoever is organising the funeral. Sometimes, (especially if it's a cremation) the request may be for "family flowers only" which usually means one huge spray atop the coffin from all the family. There are exceptions, of course.
Reply:First, my condolences to you and your family. I realize that in different parts of the country, things are done differently but here--NC--we call the florist and tell them what we want, by want, it can be a specific flower or price. I, for instance, always want all white arrangements. The florist fixes and delivers them and most of them have someone who goes to the funeral homes each morning and check over the arrangements and replace any flowers that are looking frail. You can take them with you, but I would have them delivered. If you prefer to take them perhaps you could go a bit early and give them to the funeral director who will place them. I understand your not knowing what to do if this is the first funeral you've sent flowers to, but I have finally learned in life to let the professionals handle the details as they know exactly what to do. In this case the florist is being paid to do the flowers and they can advise you. If you don't have a florist the funeral home can suggest several that provide good quality work and some funeral homes have an in house florist.

loops

Who's name do I sign when sending a thank you card for funeral flowers.?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.008-08:00

My mother died, my dad is still living, I have 3 sisters, all are married. My sisters and I divided up the cards to send out, alot of them are for distant relatives I don't know, and I'm sure they don't know me (my married name). Since they are family, I'm not sure if signing "the family of Jane Doe" is appropriate either.

Who's name do I sign when sending a thank you card for funeral flowers.?
Sign your mom's name.

It will freak them out!

.
Reply:I think "the Family of Jane Doe" is fine. The more distant family shouldn't be insulted...
Reply:some people really don't care how the names are signed in the thank you card; its more that they receive acknowledgment of the flowers/plant, cards, gift basket, or money they sent. if you want to sign names, you can sign everyone's name using the former last name of the married daughters in parentheses with their current last names. if those are too many to list, you may want sign using your last name and your maiden/family's last name (the so and so families).
Reply:the family name, like thank you very much, from the smiths, ect
Reply:I would say you should sign your name "and family of" your mother's name would be appropriate. Maybe if you do somewhat know the person you are sending it to, you can personalize it so they realize who you are.
Reply:sign your name . . if they are family they will figure it out that you got married and don't have the same last name or they'll ask another relative and find out who you are. . .
Reply:Maybe. . . "Thank you on behalf of Name of Dad, Name of Daughter 1, Name of Daughter 2, Name of Daughter 3, and Name of Daughter 4". Then sign your name. The people you send cards to will probable recognize your name as one of the daughters.
Reply:I think the "family of Jane Doe " is fine or you could do it like this..thank you for the flowers...dick and Jane doe.I would use your maiden name so people will know who you are or use a hyphenated maiden and married name.
Reply:From Jane Doe's family.
Reply:I don't know, "The Family of Jane Doe" sounds right to me. But if you're not comfortable with that, sign it from you or your father.
Reply:Use your first names followed by your family name...people will know then!
Reply:I would sighn "The family" because i am sure everyone is thankfull for them, sorry to hear about your loss.
Reply:you always put thank you from the family of the deceased persons name
Reply:just sign your name and "family of" this should be appropriet enough.
Reply:Sign the husbands first and last name and put the family on it too. For example: The Rick Johnson family.
Reply:You could sign the cards saying something like

"My family and I would like to thank you for xxxx" (the flowers, the food, etc.)

Then, sign your name. Mary Smith (Jones)

When my mom died last year, we divided up the thank yous as well. I wrote my married name and in parentheses put my maiden name.

I am very sorry for your loss, too.
Reply:Our family agreed that signing " The family of (the deceased name) " worked best for us. Cards I receive use the same way of signing.

Sorry for your loss.
Reply:I think it should be your dads name as he is the eldest living member in the family. You may write on behalf of (his name) and then your name (+daughter of .....) This way i feel your relatives will recognise your dad and you.
Reply:BUSH'S
Reply:sign with your name ---------------and if you want to add P%26gt;S%26gt;.

Question about sending flowers post-funeral?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.007-08:00

A friend of mine died recently, and I was unable to make it to the funeral (which I feel awful about). It was only yesterday, and I wanted to send her parents some flowers, but I don't want to intrude during their time of grieving (also, I've never met them). How do I get the flowers and card to them?

Question about sending flowers post-funeral?
If you can't afford to have them delivered by the florist, just get your bouquet together (with a heartfelt card or note) and leave it on their doorstep. Hopefully you can time it when they're home or will be getting home.

So sorry for your loss.
Reply:if you have the address - you can have the florist to deliver them for you. Do a pot plant instead of a funeral spray - this will also cost you less but still be very nice.
Reply:I think it would still be a nice gesture. Drop them off or send them via FTD

I'm wanting to send a nice gift for a funeral. Flowers die, and I don't like fake ones, any other suggestions?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.006-08:00

I'm thinking Wind Chimes. This funeral is in another state...so it really limits me to what the florist have in their shops.

I'm wanting to send a nice gift for a funeral. Flowers die, and I don't like fake ones, any other suggestions?
Has there been a memorial established in the deceased's name? Often, families designate a charitable organization or church to donate to in lieu of flowers. If the family has designated a memorial, they are telling you that is what they would prefer if you wanted to do something for them.

The wind chimes is a cool idea though. But check about a memorial as well.
Reply:There is a flowering plant called "The Peace Lily" (Spathiphyllum) - It is a durable, tropical foliage plant that has white blossoms. I think it very simple, meaningful and can be kept for a very long time (re-planted). A friend of mine's mom just passed, and I sent her one of these plants...
Reply:A basket of nice house plants.

It was the nicest thing we got when my Xhusbands grandmother passed. They gave us one of the baskets that had been sent to the funeral and I took and separated the plants and repotted them into their own baskets. The other day my X called and he mentioned the plants...he said the plants from granny's funeral you replanted are doing well, he truly sounded thankful that I had done that for him, he had something to hold onto after the funeral.
Reply:Make a memorial charitable donation to a related cause.
Reply:plants are more appropriate for funerals.....
Reply:At least call or send a card.
Reply:When my dad died someone sent a pastry basket, and someone else sent a basket with cheese, crackers and sausages. It was hard enough to eat, but having these things right at the funeral home helped because the last thing you want to do when you're at your dad's funeral is go out to eat.
Reply:Donate to a cause or charity the person or family supports. If there is a memorial fund set up donate to it. The wind chimes is a nice gesture, but if there are many family members involved it could actually cause a problem unless you specify the person who is to receive it after the funeral. My family went through a death recently, and many of the people who sent things did specify to which family member it was for and that relieved some stress of "dividing" things up. A heartfelt card with a message of caring can be the most priceless of gifts.

Peace.
Reply:Even if you or the family isn't religious, give them a mass or church card. This is a pledge that the members of the church or convent will pray for the deceased for one year. Donation to their favorite charity under the deceased name is also a good idea.
Reply:wind chimes is a great idea!!! or a donation to their favorite charity in the name of the deceased. Personally I love the wind chime idea.

Why do Jewish people not want flowers at a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.005-08:00

I wanted to send flowers to a friend, but she said flowers are inappropriate at a Jewish funeral. She could not tell me why, just that this is her tradition. Does anyone have a factual answer to this question?

Why do Jewish people not want flowers at a funeral?
Jewish funerals are very, very simple and as quick as possible. There are no extravagances: the body is wrapped in a clean white cloth and buried in a plain pine coffin (all wood--even the nails are wood) and buried asap. Then we sit shiva; if you want to give something to the family, bring (kosher) food to the family while they sit shiva.
Reply:...the answer was that there are no extravagances. Flowers are an extravagance. Hence, we don't have that at funerals. I thought you would be able to piece it together. Report It

Reply:It is a tradition of Christan religion, it doesn't help the dead out at all!
Reply:flowers are seen as a simble of life- and are there for not fitting in out tradition. Might I suggest that you send the money you would have spent on flowers and send them to a Chatiry in the Deceased ones Honor? Maby one of their favorites. Some cause they supported. That would be both in accordance to our costumes and a more living legacy for the deacised one.

My deepst sympthesetst by the way.
Reply:Well, I'm not Jewish, but they're inappropriate for my funeral, too... I'll be dead, fer cryin' out loud - just chuck me in a dumpster and let the flowers live.
Reply:Maybe they don't want to ruined another living thing for dead people... I am just guessing.
Reply:Ye are of [your] father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. ---- Jesus told the Jews, who claimed they were of Abraham, that they were of their father Satan. ---- John 8:44

Jesus was himself a Jew and he was the Messiah for the Jews. Jesus, however, is very clear as to the status of the fellow Jews who rejected him……

Jesus told the rebellious Jews, who claimed they were of Abraham, that they were NOT OF ABRAHAM because of their constant disobedience.

Jesus told the Jews who did not believe in him that they were MURDERERS.

Jesus told the Jews who did not believe in him that they were LIARS AND DECEIVERS.

Jews called the Jews who argued with him and rejected him the “Spawn of Satan”.

Football Shoes

Why do we use flowers at a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.004-08:00

My 3 year old grandson asked me why we put flowers on a grave. I have no idea - is it to do with "renewal"? Any deep thinkers out there who can answer q for me, i really need to get back to the little man! I realise not all countries/faiths follow this tradition, but for those that do perhaps someone out there knows why flowers in particular?

Why do we use flowers at a funeral?
Today, flowers are sent to funerals for a number of reasons. First, they are a means of expression. It is often difficult for those mourning a death to put feelings into words. Flowers are a visual expression of love, sympathy and respect. They are a means of sharing the burden of grief, and they represent community support for the bereaved.

Flowers create a background of warmth and beauty, which adds to the dignity and consolation of the funeral service. Following the service, the bereaved are left with an indelible impression, or “memory picture” of the funeral. The more comforting the memory picture, the more easily it is recalled by the bereaved and the more vivid is the reinforcement of the reality of loss. Flowers do not wither and die in the mind of the bereaved; they are recalled time and again as indelible memories. Conversely, those who have attended service where there were no flowers, have expressed the feeling that something was missing, that the funeral was depressing.

Flowers also have a spiritual significance. They are symbolic not only of love and sympathy, but also of eternity and immortality. The fleeting life of flowers attests to the transitory life of man. There is profound symbolism in the very fact that flowers do not last forever.

Finally, flowers are not only for the living. They are also for the dead. Americans traditionally have expressed their respect for the deceased by sending flowers, which honours the dead and console the living.
Reply:It is for commercial purposes. Someone needs to make money, so why not target the depress souls (easy target). Really, there's no point in placing expensive flowers week after week when our dead love ones are no longer exist anymore. The only hope to see them again is at resurrection. --John 5:28-29.

(Ecclesiastes 9:5-6) "For the living are conscious that they will die; but as for the dead, they are conscious of nothing at all, neither do they anymore have wages, because the remembrance of them has been forgotten. 6 Also, their love and their hate and their jealousy have already perished, and they have no portion anymore to time indefinite in anything that has to be done under the sun."
Reply:in the old days and for the poor there was no way of keeping the body's from rotting, so they used flowers to hide the smell.

to have some one lade to rest you had to pay for the grave and you had to pay the grave diggers, so for poor people they might have to wait 3-4 weeks to save up the money
Reply:Because funerals are for the living, and flowers brighten up an otherwise dark occasion.
Reply:before embalming it was because dead bodies smell bad after that the tradition just stuck
Reply:I suppose it brings a touch beauty to a sad affair.
Reply:good question! maybe to cheer up a sad situation when visiting a dead loved one. i rather think of them in my mind when they were happy : )
Reply:Thats a good question, I really dont know the answer!

Sorry.

Have a star (:

♥
Reply:to decorate the place for a celebration of the persons life..
Reply:To cover the smell of rotting flesh .
Reply:tribute, mark of respect. why do people give flowers for anything? same stuff. different dead person.
Reply:WOW!!! YOU GRANDSON IS A LITTLE GENIUS!! HAHA I DONT KNOW EITHER :(
Reply:They are a sympathy gift..

Are flowers appropriate for a Scottish funeral or condolences?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.003-08:00

What are the appropriate type of flowers to send for condolences to Scottland?

Are flowers appropriate for a Scottish funeral or condolences?
Yes they are. Any kind, ask ur florist what is the usual for funerals, then maybe add some Scottish thistles and heather.
Reply:Flowers would be appropriate for both. Interflora or check out local florist for advice. If you know the family, maybe some sort of colour would be appropriate. Alternatively you could send white flowers, with a coloured ribbon, traddionally purple for mourning, or green, blue for a guy, pink for a lady. On wreaths you can even have the persons name printed on to the ribbon which looks very smart. eg Robbert
Reply:Check on the Internet. PS I am controlling the urge to joke about this, but its hard when all sorts of silliness comes to mind.
Reply:Well I would do this through interflora.Certainly this is an appropriate way to express condolances.The reason I suggest interflora is because you can do this from any florist.You can send a bunch,a bouquet or a wreath Whatever you wish.I'm scottish and have done this a few times(too many)

What is a good site to buy and send flowers for a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.002-08:00

Looking for an inexpensive but thoughtful arrangement for two dear friends taken in a horrible accident. Any help would be most grateful.

What is a good site to buy and send flowers for a funeral?
1-800flowers.com is a good one and teleflorist.com

Am i the only one that thinks this or not?Do you think it's "morbid"to take flowers from someones funeral boqu

2011-11-19T02:17:00.001-08:00

I think it's at least "morbid",if not disrespectful to take flowers from someones funeral boquets.I've ben to funerals and witnessed people swarming up to the casket(after the "grave-side service")to take flowers from the casket spray and other floral arrangements,reminding me of "VULTURES".C'mon people,those were bought FOR THE DECEECED!

Am i the only one that thinks this or not?Do you think it's "morbid"to take flowers from someones funeral boqu
I've never done it or seen people "swarm" to the the casket, but I have seen a few folks take a small flower from a spray after the graveside service. I try not to be too judgmental of people at funerals. We all grieve in our own way, so I wouldn't begrudge someone taking a small memento from a funeral spray. The deceased can't enjoy the flowers, so the living may as well use them however they see fit.

ice skates

Sending flowers to a funeral? Please advise. When I send the flowers to the funeral?

2011-11-19T02:17:00.000-08:00

I want to send them to the deceased's Mother. Or the entire family of the deceased. I only know the Mother. Is this correct? If not how should I do it? Thank you for any and all advise. P.S. the deceased is young , about 22 yrs old.

Sending flowers to a funeral? Please advise. When I send the flowers to the funeral?
I would send them addressed to the family of the deceased.

The florist you use should be able to advise you of the proper addressing of the card.
Reply:The florist should be able to let you know the proper way to do this.I personally feel that sending flowers is a waste of money.Why don't you make a donation on behalf of the family,perhaps to the charity related to whatever caused the death.All the flowers they recieve will have to be taken home and they too will die...who wants a reminder of yet another death?
Reply:Contact the funeral parlor where the service being held and verify the best time to have them delivered. Once you have this information, contact the local florist (the funeral parlor might have one they deal with regularly) and then call for arrangements telling them what you want to order, when and where to deliver. On the card you simply either write your name or if you're sending on behalf of your entire family state "from NAME Family". Do not personalize or address the specific card like "Dear Cindy or Mr %26amp; Mrs So-and-So".

It's simply the thought that counts.

The family will make arrangements with the funeral parlor a head of time on what to do with delivered floral arrangements for during and after the service. It's really low on their priority list (all things considered).
Reply:Direct your note to your friend and family.
Reply:I'd send a plant to the mother's house. Flowers will be dead in a week...she's had enough death.
Reply:Now a days more people are getting away from sending flowers and donating (in the deceased ones memory) to a charity instead. I'd do that and then if you still want to...send flowers to the Mother's house.
Reply:I would address them to the family "with my condolences" and sign your name and followed by something like "Friend of [her name]"

Another meaningful thing that you can always do is to make a donation to a charity in her name that may have been close to her heart or serves a group that she was passionate about. The charity will send the family a card that makes them aware that a donation was made in her name. These types of lasting and impactful gifts can mean more than flowers in many cases.

So sorry to hear about your loss.
Reply:Looks like everyone has great answers, but another thing I was thinking of was maybe planting a tree in his/her memory at mom's house? Since flowers die and donation money is spent ...
Reply:write the mothers name and then include "and family".

When sending flowers to a funeral do you send them to the deceased or to the family?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.009-08:00

and how do i send them?

When sending flowers to a funeral do you send them to the deceased or to the family?
To the family and yo may bring them or have the florist bring them by
Reply:To the family. It means more, imo, unless you were close to the deceased person.

If you are sending them to the deceased person, put them by their grave; you know how it is.

If you're sending them to the family, then personally deliver them and say, "I'm so sorry for your loss." or whatever you feel is most appropriate. Hand delivering them shows that you actually care. Anyone can find a site online to have flowers sent to them, but only people who care would hand deliver them.
Reply:To the family of the deceased. Tell the florist to help you fill out the card. They do it every day. They will probably write like 'for the family of jane doe', etc. But be sure to review the card and okay it before leaving the flower shop. And order in person. Too many people handle the order when you do it online and things get left out down the line. And you pay about 25 percent more ordering online than if you go to the florist directly.
Reply:... in my own opinion, the deceased could not accept the flowers for obvious reason.......but you are sending the flowers to the loved ones left behind to show that you are comforting them in their time of sorrow...... you are there in case they need something for support or comfort....
Reply:Usually you would send the flowers to the family of the deceased as a token of your sympathy for the situation. You could have them delivered with a note, or for a more personal way go and deliver them yourself.
Reply:a lot of people unfortunately died in my family. usually we have one rose each and we give them to the dead person when they are in the hole. u cud give them to the family if u want.
Reply:to the family with sympathy .. look up the funeral home online n it usually says how to send flowers and things ...
Reply:the family of : deceased's name

What is the traditional bouquet of flowers to send to a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.008-08:00

My uncle died this week, but my family was not close to him.

What is the traditional bouquet of flowers to send to a funeral?
Lilies, traditionally, but nowadays, you can send virtually anything. Just tell the florist it is for a funeral and to make up something appropriate. They will know exactly what to do.
Reply:A potted mum or daisy-something the family could put out in the yard later or you could make a donation to a charity and have the charity send a card to the family.
Reply:There's nothing traditional. I just ask the florist what is the freshest thing on hand and send that. Sometimes it's a potted plant.
Reply:Most florists have basic floral arrangement ideas for bouquets for funerals...you need to first figure out how much you can spend so you'll get a range of choices within your budget. Once that's decided, let the florist suggest colors and types of flowers...any arrangement they make will be within the 'traditional' style. Then decide if you want something 'on a stand' [wire with legs so flowers are about 18" above the floor] that can be placed on the floor by the casket in the viewing room or at the church, or a bouquet in a standard vase to set by the gravesite later or placed with the other flowers by the casket.

If you're doing this via internet [like 1-800-Flowers, for instance] they'll have lots of color photos of funeral arrangements within the various price ranges.

A card should accompany your flowers, like "with deepest sympathy, from [family names included]". On an internet flower purchase, you can just tell them how the card should read. A card is really necessary, since the remaining family always tries to send thank-you notes afterwards...and often they'll keep the cards from the flowers as a kind of memento of the occasion.
Reply:Better than flowers donate to his favorite charity and send a card saying you donated in his name. Flowers die so quickly after a funeral we paid like 300 for two wreaths.. but that was for my Mom. Only immediate family should really buy the flowers, like mother, father, brother, sister or grandparents. The rest should do donations.

Is it taboo to have silk flowers for a funeral?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.007-08:00

We are thinking of making our own arrangement with silks for the casket spray. Just wondering if we risk seeming tacky.

Is it taboo to have silk flowers for a funeral?
I am so sorry to hear that you have to be thinking about this.

I have seen silks used for the casket spray, but I am sorry to report that when I have seen them, I have heard nothing but negative comments, and the general consensus seems to be that they are in very poor taste. I think part of that perception in people comes from the fact that silks are meant to be reused, and people think it's disrespectful to reuse the flowers meant to show a final tribute to a loved one.

The casket spray is traditionally, at least where I am from, buried with the casket. Many times, mourners in the immediate family will take flowers from it as they are leaving, as most don't stay to see the actual burial.

May I offer a suggestion? To get very good silks that look real, you are going to have to spend at least $2-3 dollars each. You can get real flowers for less than that. I know that casket sprays cost a ridiculous amount of money--I recently found out that the flower shop my family frequents for all funeral flowers charges between $250 and $300 for a funeral spray, which usually has 3-4 dozen flowers, plus greenery and a ribbon. You can probably get long stemmed roses, or some other kind of flower, if roses aren't what you want, for less than you would pay for silks. For example, the Costco near us has beautiful roses for $10-$15 a dozen, depending on stem length and country of origin. You don't need all long stems to make a spray. You need about half long stems, and half shorter. If you go to a florist, you can buy the greenery, or you can buy a potted plant, such as a really lush fern, and get the greenery there. A fabric store will have the ribbon, and you can write on the ribbon the way they used to do it in the old days, with a fabric marker. As I am sitting here totalling up numbers in my head, I am guessing you can make a really beautiful spray for well under $80.

I have been to several funerals where the family did the flowers themselves. One spray was an very large bunch of wildflowers. The grandchildren picked them for their grandma's casket, and then one of the daughters arranged them. She got a puffy fabric pain marker, and wrote "Grandma" on the ribbon, and it was really beautiful.

Ultimately, the decision is up to you and your family. I have told you what I have seen and heard, but I can honestly tell you as well that I would not think silks are tacky, and I would actually find it beautiful to think that a family made the spray themselves.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide, and again, I am very sorry for your loss.
Reply:i used to work in a floral shop,,,,lots of people use silk flowers for a funeral, sorry this is something you need to do. best wishes to you
Reply:Tacky!
Reply:id say tacky, real ones will be prettier
Reply:It would be very tacky. No matter how well they're made, they ALWAYS look like silk flowers. Besides, after you're done what are you going to do with them? Save them to go cheap on the next funeral? Most cemeteries do not allow silk flower placements.
Reply:You can do whatever you want.
Reply:i'd say yes. people usually dont want to keep such things around. go with either real ones or send a basket of fruit or something. i never send flowers anymore because they are usually a waste of money IMHO
Reply:Yes. The casket spray is representative of the family and is buried with the casket.
Reply:Silk flowers would definitely be in poor taste. There are just no instances where silk flowers are an acceptable substitute for the real thing. Sorry.

White Teeth

What yellow flowers are in season now that I can use to make a bouquet for a funeral next week?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.006-08:00

At the request of my departed mother in law I need to make two bouquets in yellow flowers and I dont know what I will be able to get hold off this weekend.

What yellow flowers are in season now that I can use to make a bouquet for a funeral next week?
Black-eyed Susan and Mums are both in season now, and both are yellow.

Condolences on the death of your mother-in-law.
Reply:Florists get their flowers from around the world, so season isn't a concern. If you are going with home grown flowers, noncommercial, you'd be out of luck at my place as we've had several frosts. That said, you could still use evergreen material as base and filler and just buy what you need for the flower.
Reply:crysanthemums and marigolds. Depending where you are zinnias or maybe lilies.
Reply:In my garden there are sunflowers, but don't think they are appropriate for a funeral. If coreopsis are blooming, they would do. Yellow roses would be good. Yellow hollyhocks might be blooming now. Thats all I can think of now.
Reply:Dahlia's. marigolds sunflowers roses
Reply:Roses are still blooming ,dahlias also
Reply:just go to a good florists, they have every kind of flower almost all year round these days.
Reply:Depending on your location you could also find gladiolas but as the first poster said, most good florists have just about anything. If you give them the heads up in advance and let them know you are specifically looking for yellow they can order extra yellow varieties in for you.

PS Sorry for your loss.
Reply:Mums. and Blackeyed Susans(they are comming up WILD all over my neighborhood right now (early Oct.)

My soon to be mother in law thinks cali lillies are funeral flowers!?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.005-08:00

I want to use cali lillies for my wedding they are my favorite flower but my soon to be mother in law hates them.... I have to admit for the most part she has really good taste what do you think?

My soon to be mother in law thinks cali lillies are funeral flowers!?
Let her have it. I have been married three times. FIrst one, no cake just did it in SanDiego by a pool and took the flowers out of someone's yard. Second time hubby's dad was a preacher, hi mother chose everything and railroaded us all over. Third time, hubby's mother came into town, and insisted on miracle whip ranch dip (gag) and a cake she had to buy...she left 3 days later. No one ate her dip and the cake, who cares in the end, as long as she lives far away. THe flowers you are asking about are lovely. Put them on her grave when she dies, and pick the flowers she wants. And act like it is no big deal. Just don't let her in your bed the night of the honeymoon. Chalk it up to being easy going.

Or tell her to go fly a kite and establish the relationship from the start....no.
Reply:i want ur email address ur beautiful not a lezbo but i want some of ur beauty secrets
Reply:They used to be funeral flowers only, but nowadays weddings aren't as traditional as they were. Anything goes! I used Lillies at my wedding despite my own mother's warnings against them, and I'm glad I did.
Reply:Sweetie, it isn't your future mother-in-law's wedding. It's yours. It's YOUR day. Do as YOU like, and not as everyone else thinks you should do!
Reply:Whose wedding is it? Yours or your future mother in laws? Tell her opinions are appreciated but you're going to get married, not her, she can have whatever flowers she wants at her wedding.
Reply:Have your future M-I-L look at a few florist shops and the arrangements they prepare for funerals. If you accept her POV, you won't have a single flower at your wedding.
Reply:I love cali lillies and if you want to use them in your wedding use them. This isn't your mother in laws Wedding tell her that is what you want and that is that, no more arguments. Its your day don't let her ruin it!!!!
Reply:it's your wedding..but she is right, as beautiful as they are...they are used at ALOT of funerals...can you find something similar? I am not saying they ARE funeral flower, that would be like saying roses are ONLY used for love....But they do use them alot at funerals. Sorry if i just confused ya i been working on this damn computer for 8 hours straight..LOL Good luck with your wedding...And Congrats
Reply:i like the flowers but they are funeral flowers
Reply:Calililies are Beautiful flowers and I think that they would be a gorgeous addition to your wedding! They are used for funerals, but not solely. best of luck %26amp; wishes!

What flowers are a good way to honor a friend's asian heritage for her father's funeral?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.004-08:00

I just found out that a close friend's father passed away and the funeral is tomorrow. Me and other friends are trying to figure out what to send as a gift of support, love and encouragement. Her family is Chinese and we would like to honor this in whatever arrangement we can get.

What flowers are a good way to honor a friend's asian heritage for her father's funeral?
yellow and white chrysanthemum. lilies are not so much appropriate for chinese funerals.
Reply:a bonsai tree given to the family in memorium.
Reply:I would call a local Chinese Flower Shop and ask them what to send, I know that different flowers and colors mean different things also the number of flowers may matter as well. If she is a close friend and you plan of attending the funeral I would call a Chinese Church and ask about the ceremony such as how many times you bow at the casket, where you stand and what colors you can wear.. These things are important and they DO matter it will also mean a lot to your friend to see that you care enough about her to prepare yourself out of respect for her father. I suggest you do not ask your friend these things but find someone else at a church or something similar.. It also matters the religion of your friends family. Good Luck
Reply:ask the flower shop in the Chinese neighborhood.maybe a certain flower could be offensive.
Reply:Use yellow chrysanthemums. You can order online and send a flower wreath over as condolences. You won't need to decide the type of flowers, just pick the design from the catalogue.
Reply:lilies...everyone loves lilies
Reply:Meals sent to the home are always a great idea for a family suffering a lost. Flowers die, and are quite expensive, (although pretty), they just aren't as helpful as Making it easy on the family for a few days, by giving them less to do.

Funeral Flowers for my husband's granddad.?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.003-08:00

My husband's grandpa passaway. The funeral will be in NY. What types of flowers or colour should i send? Basket, vase, standing? Any suggestion?

Funeral Flowers for my husband's granddad.?
Anything white will do. Colors are festive and that's not the impression you want to leave with flowers. Maybe this resource can lead you in the right direction.

skates

When planning a funeral service, what flowers need to be bought by the family?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.002-08:00

I understand a casket spray needs to be arranged, but what about flowers for the mother, the brothers, etc.?

When planning a funeral service, what flowers need to be bought by the family?
For my grandma's funeral in Dec. we bought the casket arrangement only. I've never heard of giving flowers to the surviving relatives.
Reply:You don't necessarily have to go to those lengths unless you'd like to. To me, funerals are like weddings; there are few "rules."
Reply:carnation.or a red rose.

Do I need to send flowers to a funeral service for a family friend?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.001-08:00

Nancy,

This was a family friend, right? Not a particularly close personal friend of yours?

The social custom of sending flowers and plants is usually left to close friends and relatives, organizations of which the deceased was a member (including work), and people who live too far away to attend a funeral or wake/viewing/reception.

Attending the funeral would be generous with your time, and showing up at the wake would be polite.

Delivering groceries, prepared food in a disposable container, and dropping by to express your condolences THE WEEK AFTER THE FUNERAL would be kind and supportive.

I have often found that after the grief comes loneliness, and people "give them their privacy" just when they most could use a short visit and some company.

Do I need to send flowers to a funeral service for a family friend?
It would be a nice gesture. You should certainly send a note to the family.
Reply:yes certainly sending flowers to a funeral service and moreover your presence at the service will be apt. in case you are out of town and know if the service send the wreath
Reply:Would be a nice gesture, show you are thinking of them in their time of grief. If not flowers , then a plant with a card.
Reply:Not required, but it would be proper etiquette.
Reply:That depends on the family. Some families would rather have a donation to some special cause, than to have money spent on flowers. When our son in law died, our daughter asked that instead of flowers, people donate to a scholarship fund (he was a teacher) and the income from that fund sends several low income/bright kids to university every year. That's a much better memorial than a bouquet that will wilt in a day or so. Another friend who died recently, was suffering from breast cancer. Her husband asked for donations to breast cancer research. The Terry Fox Foundation, which has raised hundreds of millions of dollars around the world, is dedicated to cancer research. Cancer killed Terry Fox and his mom and dad, Betty and Rolly Fox, asked for donations to cancer research instead of flowers. Recently the Fox Foundation announced that research they had supported has made a significant breakthrough in leukemia - and they are now able to combat what was once a 100% fatal disease.

Less dramatic, but just as touching, are the memorial benches (with a little plaque naming the person they honor) that line the seawall. They are used by hundreds of persons each day and are a nice way to remember someone.

So the question of flowers is very much dependent on how the family would like the deceased to be remembered.Some people equate a church full of flowers with proof that the person who died was well loved. If that's the case, then send flowers. You're just going to have to make the decision of what would be most welcome and most appropriate.

I'm sorry for your loss - old family friends are sometimes closer than real family. But I'm sure you'll find a warm and loving way to remember them.
Reply:If this was a close friend you should send flowers, or you could make a donation, or if you just don't have the funds.....make sure you attend the wake or funeral and definately send a note to their family. Sorry to hear of your loss.
Reply:Sending is just find. But, what would really be the best, is if you could actually take the flowers to them with a note... thats if your not far and you could go then, just take them. The family will greatly appreciate it.
Reply:First of all, my heart aches for your pain from your loss. Second of all, I know I can't afford flowers so, I would just have to go to the funeral with my little home made card in hand and ready to hug up on all of the others that are hurting from the loss also. I really don't think that the family goes around afterward and says "hey, did you notice John didn't send flowers?". I know I didn't after my Mom's funeral.
Reply:I would attend the funeral, send a card within a 1-2 weeks of the funeral, bring food to the family (if that's the custom in your area), and make a donation to the charity of the family's choice.
Reply:It would be nice but a card and your thoughts are nice if on a limited budget.
Reply:Yes or a mass card.
Reply:Actually, I don't think flowers are a great idea. They will be getting TONS of flowers. It is often very nice to get them groceries--I know it sounds kind of stupid, but who wants to go get food when they are grieving?
Reply:It depends on your customs/your family's customs.

I would definitely send a card.

Maybe you could ask your parents or sibblings for advice?

What can I make out of dried flowers from my mothers funeral arrangments that would make nice memory gift ?

2011-11-19T02:16:00.000-08:00

i know i could make potapouri but i want something more original

What can I make out of dried flowers from my mothers funeral arrangments that would make nice memory gift ?
Make a shadow box, or buy one and place the dired flowers inside, so you can display it on the wall and you can always see them.
Reply:You could get a few more of her personal things that meant so much to her and remind you of her and make a very decorative shadow box. This can be done fairly easily and looks very nice. This also will alow people to view these memories in a very decorative way.
Reply:you can get a picture frame with a wide mat, and glue the flowers to the mat and put a pic of her in it, or a pic of the two of you in it.

You can make a wreath as well.
Reply:I would look at Victorian keepsakes at the library on online like fans, silk posies and wall decorations that can be framed. I am sorry about your loss.

You may not have time for all this with all the visiting relatives and choose a floral paper memorial at your church and give the flower arrangements to a nursing home or hospital like we did.
Reply:you can put together her favorite flowers or the ones you like the most that go together well. [or you can choose one by itself]. get a beautiful ribbon one that goes with the flowers you chose and one that reminds you of her and tie it around the flower[s] in a small bow. find a glass box that would be able to fit the arrangement inside. or you could press the flowers and tie them together and frame them in a nice frame. i did this after my mom's funeral.hope this helps
Reply:you can have a rose bronzed then place it over a phote album with the pressed flowers and pictures you love. I am sorry for your loss. It hurts like hell and I hate that our loved ones have to go.
Reply:Have you thought of putting them onto paper and making a scrapbook? Use them on the front page and then put pictures and other memorabilia about your mom inside.
Reply:Neatly attach one of the dried dead leafs to nice card and write something to the extent.."Just like this flower, we will all wither away.."

"Thanks for attending!"

Make sure to thank everyone and maybe do a fondue party and make a note about that too on the same card.
Reply:Picture Frame or Shrine

Scrapbook

Corsage (maybe a Picture)

What is the Place or Thing that Reminds you Most of Her?
Reply:see if your mother had some lace handkerchiefs..and take some of the dried flowers and put between these 2 handkerchiefs..add some fragrence like for potpourri or perfume..maybe her fav perfume...and sew the edges together or just wad this up and tie closed with a ribbon...

its a cute idea to sit on shelves..bookcases..or jsut sit on atable..someplace where youd see it alot.. and you'll always have a memory of your mother..

heres ahug sweetie..and im sorry to hear of your loss..GOD bless
Reply:put it in a vase and with a purple ribon around it. and buy perfume and put the whole bottle in the vase in the vase
Reply:You can make a 1.5-2" tall box (similar to a lid of a shoe box) out of wood. Find things that remind you of your mother and fill the box. Place the flower petals around these items and pour liquid epoxy over them. Allow to dry and you will be able to display these items forever.
Reply:Make a salad and eat it.

This would be most ORIGNAL!

A fitting funeral xx funny or not xx?

2010-05-22T02:51:00.001-07:00

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate and thematic funeral.

A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the coffin during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the coffin rolled inside.

The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.

When all eyes stared at him, he said, “I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral… I’m a gynaecologist.”

Hearing this, the proctologist fainted.

Psst, in case u didn’t know, a proctologist treats diseases and disorders of the an*s.

A fitting funeral xx funny or not xx?
Brilliant lol
Reply:hahaha star for you.
Reply:Oooohh man! I actually got that joke! Lol... i would have fainted too, but would have changed profession ASAP ;P Lol
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
Reply:Ha ha ha.!!!

I want to be a Gynaecologist, lol can you imagine the funeral.!!!

Excellent joke Chris.!!!

10/10 mate.!!!
Reply:ha ha ha funny
Reply:So does this funeral joke explain why you are greyed out???? Only joking. ha

What to do at a funeral?

2010-05-22T02:51:00.000-07:00

How do you approach a family whose lost a love on at? What do you tell the mother %26amp; siblings? What type of flowers do you take? How long do you stay at the funeral? They are friends of the family.

What to do at a funeral?
you approach and shake all hands offered and generally say somethign along the lines of ' am sorry for your loss' etc - Flowers - depends if required some people want a donation to charity etc - stay as long as is comfortable with other people wih a similar relation to the dead - so in this case as long as other friends stay
Reply:could say any one of the following:

I am so sorry.

Tell me how I can help, I want to be here for you.

I'm praying for you.

Would it help if we prayed together?

[Name of deceased] was a good person and friend of mine. He/She will be missed.

Would you like a hug?

Please tell me what you are feeling right now, I have never been through something like this and can only imagine.

What do you need right now?

It's ok if you do not feel like talking right now. Just know that I am here to listen whenever you are ready.

My sympathy to you and your family
Reply:Sometimes a hug or a firm hand shake is enough. My mother has a herb garden and on the rare occasions when she attends a funeral, she will pick some flowers out of her herb garden which, I think, is rather special. Don't stay longer than you're comfortable with.
Reply:God Almighty wish us to weep with those who weep, so be there stay close to them, shake hands, even hugs or holding hands at such occasions brings comfort. If they wish to share something with u listen carefully and respond sincerely, compassionately, whatever spoken from sincerity will b good enough for the moment! Roses have soothing effect, and a mixture of red and white r meant for such occasions (heard so)
Reply:extend your sympathy and let them know the person will be missed. If there is a service you may stay for the service. Often there are envelopes for a memorial. You may put in money if you wish, it is not mandatory.
Reply:approach the family before the service starts, it is more respectful than after, when emotions are high and well basically they want to be left alone, ask them if there is anything you can do to help them out, IE making food and bringing it over, cutting the grass, babysit. - the trivial everyday things get over looked and are sometimes the hardest to accomplish when facing a loss.

As for the I'm sorry, it really only makes the person saying it feel better, just tell them that you are there for them if they need anything - even if it is just to cry or talk in the middle of the night.

flowers, anything that is not too colorful or cheery. most people now-a-days are opting to have friends make a donation to the deceased's favorite charity, or you can take the $ you would have spent on flowers and put it in an envelope for the family. funeral costs are horribly expensive.

if they are friends, after the service, ask if there is anything you can do to help clean up, there will be prayer cards, tons of people and flowers everywhere that will need to be taken home, one thought to suggest is that you help gather the flowers and ask if they want them at home or donated to maybe a nursing home, where people can enjoy them. it is really sad for most people to have to have all of the flowers at home and watch them die.
Reply:If they are friends of the family, simply tell her you are sorry about her loss. Give her a hug if you are comfortable doing this. Having close friends and family by your side at this time is comforting. Let her know if there is anything you can do to help her, that you are there for her. Most importantly, don't ignore her. She is going through a very emotional and difficult time, and will need support from those around her.
Reply:be short and sincere "I am so sorry about your loss" "you and your family are in my prayers at this time"

have the florist deliver the flowers, or you may want to choose a plant instead of a flower arrangement

stay to the end of the service, express your sympathy to the family, and get out. The family is exhausted and overwhelmed and really not up to a crowd
Reply:Say that you are very sorry for there loss and if there is anything that you can do to help you will always be there, tell the mother that her son/daughter ect. was such a nice person to be with, take white tulips or white roses, nothing bright just a very pale colour flower, stay until the whole funeral is finnished but dont be the one to first leave because it will look like you just want to get out of there (even if you do)......
Reply:Honestly, I had to do this because I'm kinda a dry person.

Deprive yourself of sleep, and watch sad movies, and pretend that the person dying in the movie, is the person mentioned.

That will instill sincerity and if you dont, they will definitely be able to tell that you dont want to be there.
Reply:Alright, ignore the previous answers and listen to some common sense.

Don't say something you do not mean. If you are not prepared to take them in for a week or so whilst they get their head around things, don't say ' if there is anything I can do for you'

Approach when they come to you. Say you are sorry for their loss and don't make any promises.

Ask the florist for some flowers for a funeral, they have more experience than you do. And leave it at that.

If no one saw the flowers did they exist?

2010-05-22T02:50:00.003-07:00

I spent $170 on a floral spray for a loved relative who's funeral I could not attend. I placed the order with the florist recommended by the funeral home and they seemed very accommodating.

After speaking with most of the relatives who did attend the funeral, nobody recalls seeing these flowers or my card. I called the florist and they later told me they had the receipt and the delivery driver specifically remembers delivering them.

I'm not a wealthy woman and the flowers being there meant a lot to me. I don't want to hurt the florist financially if they did what I paid them to do, but don't I deserve some sort of refund if they didn't?

This is all the information I have, so I have to make a decision based on what I've written. I'm considering filing an investigation request with my credit card company to have the charges reversed.

If no one saw the flowers did they exist?
Those things sometimes get mishandled at the funeral home. You could dispute the charge, but they will offer a signed receipt. The burden of proof is on you, and you have no proof.

ice skates

Whom do you send thank you cards to after someones funeral?

2010-05-22T02:50:00.002-07:00

We are not sure if we send visitors .we are sure about the flower senders

Whom do you send thank you cards to after someones funeral?
here is a website about funeral ediquette:

http://www.golden-rule.com/fi-etiquette....

it has sample thank-you notes for guests, food, flowers, etc.
Reply:A small ad in the paper to thank everyone and a thank you card to people that sent flowers, brought food, helped with the arrangements or did anything special for the family during the the funeral process should be sufficient.
Reply:You can always put an ad in the newspaper thanking everyone for flowers, food, kind thoughts and prayers. People in my town do that all the time.
Reply:most of the funerals I've been to have a guest book as they pick up the announcement before vistitation. I'd guess that whomever signs in would receive a thank you card.

Personally I really haven't received that many thank you cards from people. The family/close friends normally thank the guests for coming and leave it at that we've usually brought a covered dish/pot luck to the funeral home and that was our act of helping out. some have wakes that are similar to that!

Sorry, I couldn't help u out better than that. sorry for ur loss!
Reply:No, you do not send to visitors, you could call and say thanks, but not necessary. And you can acknowledge cards by phone too, same thing, nice but not neccesary.

You send thank yous to everyone who did something, brought over food for the wake, ran errands, sent flowers.

You might consider phone or card thanks to those who went the extra mile, literally. People who went to great expense to be there, drove for hours, got on a plane. And thank those who were there for you, went above the call of duty, sat with you, cried with you.
Reply:You should thank those who have shown you kindness and have helped you. And, you might want to thank those visitors who took time out at the services who offered comfort. It is not necessary to send a thank you to those who have sent a card, unless there was a letter or note enclosed. Thank you notes (notes are nicer than cards) should be handwritten and sent out within a reasonable amount of time.
Reply:I would thank the people that showed up to the viewing for coming and supporting you during this tough time. That's all you really need to say. It is understood.
Reply:After my mom died, we sent thank yous to all those who sent flowers, money and food. We also sent thank yous to the priest, deacon and those who helped plan the service.

We did not send thank yous to those who came to the service or to calling hours.

I have been to several funerals myself. I did not get any thank yous for coming to calling hours. I didn't expect any. The family expressed their gratitude when I was there.

Hope this helps.

My boyfriend's grandmother passed away, should I send flowers?

2010-05-22T02:50:00.001-07:00

We have been dating for 2 years, I have met his grandmother a couple of times and I am fairly close to his family, she was his father's mother. I'm not sure if I should send flowers or a plant, and should I send it to his dad (who I know well) or his grandfather or to the funeral home when they have the service? What do you think ?

My boyfriend's grandmother passed away, should I send flowers?
Give the flowers to them personally.. It will show you really care.
Reply:Send a plant to the funeral home in my opinion, then the grandfather can decide what ot do with it. I like to send plants because they last longer than just flower that a lot of times get left at the grave anyways.
Reply:Most guys would rather have a 12 pack and some time alone. Guys usually don't like flowers, or glitter, or that kind of stuff. Just give your BF some time to hang out with the family and grieve. If he's Irish, they're prolly having a wake, so get Jameson instead of beer.
Reply:Funeral home would be appropiate usually the family shares the flowers after the funeral. Being there however maybe the best thing you could do.
Reply:Send a card to his parents and his grandfather, and ask the bf to go in with you to send flowers. It may seem wierd that her grandson's girlfriend is sending flowers, plus it helps cut the cost for both of you. Be there for your bf, some guys don't handle grief well, only talk about it if he wants to.

Also, some people ask for a donation in lieu of flowers. Check that out too.
Reply:for all of them but not to your boyfriend.with some words which describe your feelings .
Reply:uh flowers is a lil strangewen ur just a family friend

how bout a really nice card for the grandfather and a plant for the father

just makes more sense
Reply:Absolutely, I think that would be a nice gesture. I would send them "With Sympathy" to your bf's grandfather.
Reply:send a nice plant to the grandfather. and to the funeral home.
Reply:I would send it to the funeral home. send a plant, and let the family decide who gets it.
Reply:i think it would be very nice to send a bunch of flowers to the funeral home so they could know that you send it and appreciate you more but it would also be very nice if you are with him and his family through this time
Reply:I think flowers would be fine in your case. But if you are in doubt, send a nice sympathy card through the mail or take over some food to the family. See if his family needs any errands run - picking up drycleaning, etc. Any thoughtful gesture will be appreciated.
Reply:Plants are nice. Send it to the funeral home - and then everyone in the family will know that you are paying your respects. Also - if you would like - it would be a nice gesture to bring some food (a casserole, a dessert - something) to the family's home.
Reply:They would be glad if you did. You should send it to the funeral home.
Reply:Perhaps take a single white rose with you to lay on her grave when you go to the funeral.
Reply:I would send flowers to the grandfather
Reply:I would send the family flowers and then send a plant to the funeral home. Plants can last a very long time and it's something more meaningful.
Reply:Either send flowers or send a donation in her memory to a church (if she was a church-goer) or a local charity %26amp; have them send a card to his grandfather letting him know what you've done.

Most people nowadays send donations in someone's memory probably because the donations don't die. My mother received so many plants (but fortunately more donations) that she ended up giving most of them away. They often go to hospitals or nursing homes.
Reply:Send some flowers to the funeral home.
Reply:Sure, flowers would be great. I'd address them to the grandfather, and maybe send a bouqet to BF's father.

Sign the ones to grandfather from both your BF and yourself.

Sign the ones to BF's dad either the same way, or from yourself.Have grandfather's delivered, and deliver dad's yourself.

Be sure to offer to help out any way you can. You are like family now and should pitch in during this time of stress and sorrow.

It's nice of you to be concerned about this, your BF is a lucky guy.
Reply:YES, send flowers to the family and bake something and take it to them
Reply:flowers
Reply:Definitely send something - you're close enough so that an acknowledgement is expected of you. Even the neighbors will send something, and you definitely are closer.

As for who to send it to, I'm thinking that if you're making a choice, it's your BF's father and not the grandfather - but there's really nothing wrong with sending to both of them. Yeah, I know it's pricey, but (knock on wood) it doesn't happen every day, and we're talking about a 2-YEAR, not 2-month, relationship. You'll feel better, too.

Sorry for your loss.
Reply:If you are that close and have been together that long, take some up to the funeral home with you as you pay your respects.
Reply:How very thoughtful of you.

If you send flowers, more than likely, these will either stay at the funeral home, or at the church where her services will be (not a bad thing, really, as churches don't have a lot of money for buying flowers).

I personally really like the idea of sending a plant...it is a reminder that life continues. If you're close to your bf's dad, then I'd send it to him...I'm sure he needs comforting.

You might also consider sending a nice card to your bf's grandfather, to let him know you're thinking of him.
Reply:2 yrs and you're close to his family? most definetely,..It wouldn't be right if you didn't..my condolences to your boyfriend and his family..from the heart..
Reply:Send a plant to the funeral home to him specifically and say "thinking about you and your family at this time" or something like that. Nothing mushy, just appropriately respectful.
Reply:Nice sympathy cards sent to the grandfather and your b/f family would be appropiate.

If you wish to send flowers, I suggest a small, easy to take care of plant sent to the grandfather's house...since the plants will be pulled by family members anyway.
Reply:Certainly send something to her husband. He will appreciate your thoughtfulness. A card will do nicely.
Reply:Yes, you should send flowers/plant (I usually send plants). I would send it to the funeral home for the service. Usually after a funeral service, the funeral directors dispose of the flowers or leave them at the gravesite. But plants are generally taken home by family members to keep as remembrances of people's kindness. By sending it to the funeral home, you leave the decision of who wants the plant to the family. If his family has met yours, send the plant from your family as a whole (ie Sincerest sympathy from The Smiths) and if they have only met you put your name alone. It will be much appreciated and show you to be a caring and well brought up young woman. Condolences to you and yours.
Reply:sweetie , you have been with your boyfriend 2 years. so, yes it would be very sweet to send flowers or a plant. if it were me, i would send them to the funeral home. after the funeral they can take the plants or flowers home. it's a thoughtful and kind way to show your boyfriends family that you care. GBU and I'll say a prayer for your boyfriend and his family.

Deanne

Have you ever had a friend pass away and you didnt find out until after the funeral?

2010-05-22T02:50:00.000-07:00

My husband found out today that a friend who he worked with for many years committed suicide. I searched the death notices and the the funeral was actually yesterday. He is really upset that he didnt get to go. The person who was meant to pass on this sad news didnt do so until this morning.

I feel really bad for him - do you think he should send flowers to the family. Has this happened to anyone else?

Have you ever had a friend pass away and you didnt find out until after the funeral?
I don't know about flowers, but at least a phone call or visiting the grave.
Reply:Yes. My heart goes out to your husband. A card would be good. A phone call may be even better in that it allows the family another chance to let things out a bit. In a week or two a meal may be appreciated. They are probably good for a few days. For your husband and the family it may be good to deliver something in person. It gives both an excuse and an opportunity to cry on each others shoulders. The family may have a great need to do this often. In a few months from now (especially around his birthday or fathers day) the family may be go through a real hard time dealing with it and by then everyone else will have forgotten their loss. That may be a good time to check up on them.

Here is a list for the grieving process

Here are 7 steps to the grieving process that may help you help your husband and his friend’s family. These are what most everyone goes through, however everyone is different as to how long it takes.

1) Shock %26amp; Disbelief

2) Sensation of somatic distress (May manifest in pain, changes in appetite or sleep)

3) Preoccupation with the image and belongings of the deceased

4) Guilt (I mad that morning and never told him I loved him)

5) Anger (Why would God do this? The doctors are idiots.)

6) Change in the conduct behavior (Bouts of Depression, Forgetfulness or Disorganization, Restlessness, Feels a need to do something but not sure what)

7) Reorganization of behavior directed toward a new object or activity. (Something to pour this nervous energy and attention into. A new hobby or sport or relationship or?)

This is not a check list as much as a general guideline. The same process is also valid for other losses in ones life like the breakup of a relationship or the loss of a job. In the old days a person would wear black for a year to let others know that they had suffered a loss. Good luck and may God Bless.
Reply:Oh, how awful. I feel bad that your husband received the news so late. He could send a card to the family. They probably have flowers coming out of their ying-yang by now.
Reply:omg that really sucks...I totaly think that he should send them flowers, it'd be really nice
Reply:This happened to my aunt in July. She lost a good friend, and her friend's child died as well in an accident. Her friend was only 21 and the child was 3. We didn't find out until the day of the funeral. I think your husband should just send flowers; he could also visit as well if he wants to.

My best friends father passed away. What can I send to express my condolenses besides flowers?

2010-05-22T02:49:00.002-07:00

I live in Pennsylvania - they live in Utah - so I wont be able to attend the funeral

My best friends father passed away. What can I send to express my condolenses besides flowers?
Get a Peace Lily as they send them to people who have lost somebody.
Reply:A thoughtful letter expressing your sorrow.
Reply:A sympathy card and a call
Reply:you have done enough, just be available to your friend, in case he wants to talk.
Reply:yourself. give him a call and tell him that if he needs u just call. u'll be there for him
Reply:a pass a way card =()
Reply:Maybe write her a letter telling her how much you care for her and how much you're there for her, and how sorry you are for her loss.
Reply:Do they have a charity to donate to? Such as Hospice, American Cancer Society, etc. If you do not want to do flowers, you can send a peace lily plant, I still have mine from my father's funeral 3 years ago. They are very pretty and easy to maintain.
Reply:Send your friend a card and find out where they want any contributions to go usually it's in the obituaries. Look it up online in the newspaper where the person passed away. That way your friend will receive a personal touch from you and your contribution will go to where her father wanted it to.

White Teeth

Do you feel this is wrong? Concerning a distant family funeral?

2010-05-22T02:49:00.001-07:00

I have known my wife for 16 years. Recently a cousin of hers died. I have never met this person, even though she only lived about 5 miles from our home. My wife went to visit her everyday the last few weeks at the hospital. The father of the cousin that died asked my wife to ask me to be a pallbearer at the funeral. I have no plans to go to the funeral because I don't know this person, and I certainly don't feel comfortable being a pallbearer for someone that I don't know. I just went to the funeral home to pay my respects and stayed about a half hour. We also had flowers sent to the funeral home. I told my wife that I don't feel comfortable being a pallbearer at a funeral for someone that I never met, and that they should find family members that she knew to do that job. Am I being unreasonable?

Do you feel this is wrong? Concerning a distant family funeral?
no i don't think you are, at least you attended the funeral....
Reply:yes, you should be there, it's support.
Reply:Listen, if your wife is going to the funeral, you're going to the funeral. You're married, get it? You gotta support each other and sometimes that means doing things you don't wanna. Someday she'll do something she doesn't want to do, just for you. The family prolly asked u to be a pallbearer because they don't have anyone else- no offense. So suck it up and carry the casket and bring some kleenex for your wife and her family.
Reply:Not unreasonable at all...

there should be no reason for you to have that responsibility when you didnt know the person who died and had no contact with them while they were still alive.
Reply:If your not comfortable with being a pallbearer you shouldn't be forced to do it even if you had known the person.

Funeral etiquette?

2010-05-22T02:49:00.000-07:00

When someone attends a funeral, do they usually give flowers too, or are flowers usually sent when you are unable to attend the funeral?

Funeral etiquette?
I send them, either way. Some others give money to some special fund, instead of flowers, if the family requests it.

Personally, I feel that when someone does something as spectacular as die, they deserve a few flowers.

When my son died, only 2 friends sent flowers. That hurt me a lot..... A couple weeks later, I found out that my cousin had told everyone not to send any. She saw that we were spending as little as possible on the service, and she thought we were being cheap on purpose and that flowers would look too luxurious. Truth was, we spent what we could afford on the funeral. We'd spend our money on medical care.

Took me a long time to forgive her for that.

Thank you, PomMom. Know what? Your father could have - and should have - sent his own flowers. Why expect you to do this for him?

Thanks Tesyruyah
Reply:hi sometimes people only want family flowers .xx
Reply:Hi Pom mom. I send flower to the wake only. And only If I know the person very well. Other wise I will get a a mass card and bring it to the furneral home and leave it for the family.
Reply:If I want to give flowers,I do it. It doesn't matter whether i am planning to go or not.
Reply:We usually have flowers or a pretty plant sent to the funeral home, whether we attend the funeral or not. When donations to the family are accepted we usually do that instead of flowers, since usually they have a financial need in those cases.
Reply:I always send Flowers even if I attend calling hours and the Funeral. It is just a courtesy to the Family and to let them know you are thinking of them. I have even sent Flowers to close friends and family members to their homes. There are instants-as where I have given a card with money if I know the Family is under a financial burden. Flowers die and sometimes money helps a lot more. You have to use common sense sometimes and it depends on the circumstances. It is always a tough time for the family.
Reply:It's a personal choice I think.

I'm sure your presence at the funeral means just as much to them as sending flowers.

I think you do what feels right to you and if you feel it's not necessary to send flowers...then don't (It's not the flowers, it's what they represent...and you may find you have represented your sympathy and support without the need for flowers).
Reply:Ignore your father's anger. If you have no working relationship with him, it is unreasonable for him to expect consideration and inclusion in such a matter.

Flowers sent to the survivor's home or to the funeral home are always a good idea if you are a relative or friend or business associate.

Many survivors take comfort in walking around the room and viewing the flowers and the names on the cards. What you did was thoughtful and compassionate.

To Kiwi: My condolences and a bouquet of purest white roses to you on the passing of your son. May G-d bless you and your family.
Reply:People do not bring flowers to a funeral. They call a florist and have them sent either to the funeral home or to the home of the family. Whether you attend the funeral or not, you should have flowers sent.

Is there a type of flower that is taboo at a Jewish funeral?

2010-05-22T02:48:00.003-07:00

Upon visiting the cemetary we do not bring flowers. aBringing flowers is a Christian thing. Instead we put pebbles on the grave site. Jacob's sons took a stone and put it on Rachel's grave to make up Rachel's tomb. Here and elsewhere we learn that by placing stones on the grave one participates in building the tombstone. We do not find any direct connection with our present practice, but we might ask if this is an ancient memory of this tradition.

Is there a type of flower that is taboo at a Jewish funeral?
Jewish people do not have a wake (where the body is displayed), because Judaism beliefs is that the body should be brought to its resting place as soon as possible. It is not customary to bring flowers because the funeral is to be as simple as possible.

Thank you cards after a funeral?

2010-05-22T02:48:00.002-07:00

I'm sending thank you cards for people who came to the funeral and those who sent flowers for my dad's recent funeral.

Question is should I send a thank you card for people who sent me condolences cards too?

I'm a doctor in a small town so I got hundreds of cards and I don't know if I have the time.

But they are my patients and I feel like I should send them a card.

I guess I'll just have to take the time to do it, so I'm not sure why I'm even asking the question.

What do you think?

Thank you cards after a funeral?
If you can send them a bill, you can send them a card. You know the answer.....
Reply:how about get a page in the local newspaper and thank everyone at once, it would be easier than hundreds of letters, of course, I don't know what the cost would be....
Reply:i think that would be nice.
Reply:Publish a thank you note in the local paper thanking all those who sent you cards and post one copy in your office; and send the thank you cards to those who went to the funeral and/or sent flowers.
Reply:Keep a list of all the people that sent their condolences to you. When they have an appointment with you, hold their hand and tell them, more or less, that you were overwhelmed with the condolences, and that you had rather thank them in person anyway. If some of your patients are very healthy, and you see them very rarely, then consider sending them a thank you card. Definitely, send cards to the ones who sent to you flowers and food.
Reply:Not sure, but I'm very sorry about your dad.
Reply:Have your secretary do it. The probably won't expect much, just an acknowledgement.

But I too would probably send something..
Reply:could you perhaps put a notice of thanks in your surgery or somewhere public that would be seen by the people that sent cards ?

i think that would be easier for you and just as nice

and sorry to hear about your dad xxx

skates

Funerals, do you send flowers or make donations ?

2010-05-22T02:48:00.001-07:00

When my mother and dad died it meant so much to me to read the cards, sometimes that is just as good. I now a lot of times send the person a card and put $20 in it

Funerals, do you send flowers or make donations ?
Flowers
Reply:both
Reply:neither. i write. flowers die too. money is everywhere.
Reply:Make donations
Reply:For my Grandfather's funeral, we had people make donations to St. Jude instead of sending flowers. It was more fitting since My niece is a patient.
Reply:if its a relative my siblings and I will send flowers.If its a friend,I usually make a donation.
Reply:Both. I also call. I even send them food.
Reply:Both but I think donations would be better.
Reply:i usually just give the family money
Reply:do both
Reply:make donation
Reply:If they give a place for a requested donation I usually do that. There are always so many flowers sent.
Reply:donations
Reply:I like to make donations.I have only sent flowers once.
Reply:"Get Well Soon" cards
Reply:donations
Reply:Both, plus attend,pray and mingle w/ the assembled multitude unless of course it's your own.
Reply:Depends on the deceased. We've shot fireworks before.
Reply:Both.
Reply:Flowers. I really should make donations, but for some reason it's easier to get flowers.
Reply:donations
Reply:It is correct to do either one.
Reply:I have done both, but now I usually give memorial Gideon's Bibles in that person's name. Another possibility is, when my Uncle died we gave my Aunt a concrete bench for her yard. She loves it. Here's another, buy and plant a tree in the family's yard in memory of the person.
Reply:Up to you. Which ever one you think they'll appreciate more from you.
Reply:Neither I pay the mortgage or a utility bill for 2 months to help out the family. And if possible I do it without them knowing.
Reply:Whatever the family requests as the funeral is to help with their grieving and to grant them closure.
Reply:Donations.

$ speaks louder no matter what.

And of course, caring action.
Reply:donations the flowers are nice but they can't help the family with any expenses that they may incounter

Ok to bring flowers to an iftar? Egypt.?

2010-05-22T02:48:00.000-07:00

I have heard that you should only bring flowers for weddings and funerals. Is it okay to bring for an iftar?

Ok to bring flowers to an iftar? Egypt.?
The traditional is oriental sweets, but flowers may be accepted by most people specially if you don't know what to take with you or you can't buy oriental sweets.
Reply:last ramadan i went to have iftar with a best friend i hadn't seen for a while, i knew she would like flowers and so i took a bunch nicely tied with a card on which i wrote a small poem she likes, she was very pleased, it's ok to bring flowers, if they are a typical egyptian family and you don't know them that well, maybe oriental sweets would do the trick, gifts should go with the person, we don't have to appreciate them, but they should
Reply:sure it's fine.. Everybody loves flowers
Reply:Well, it is true in the case of weddings, not so sure about funerals. I have not seen that happen in a very long time. It feels weird to go to a funeral carrying flowers!!!

As for Iftar, again it is a bit odd. People usually bring sweets and different types of food when visiting others for iftar, but not flowers. I do not think anyone will take this in a negative way, but it will be a bit wierd.
Reply:i think that's a good gesture, and so modern, i think I'LL do go for that ,too , go ahead and bon iftar!!!!!!!!
Reply:Flowers are given at weddings but not at funerals in the middle east. For Iftar the hostess will be very busy preparing the meal, warming the dishes, waiting for late arrivals, serving drinks, arranging a space for her guests to pray, giving flowers needs attention and will be extra burden for her.
Reply:of course friend its normal to bring flowers at anytime and place flowers r the brighten of life and happiness
Reply:u r right but its weird to carry flowers when invited for iftar .... better to take Oriental sweets

Is there a correct way to press a flower?

2010-05-22T02:47:00.003-07:00

i have a flower from my cousins funeral that I would like to press please be detailed so I don't mess it up thanx

Is there a correct way to press a flower?
When I pressed a flower from my stepmom's funeral I sprayed it with a little bit of hairspray (so it wouldn't fall apart after it dried), put it between two pieces of wax paper, and then put it between two heavy books for few weeks or so. (Sometimes it takes longer.) I still have it and that was almost 10 years ago. Hope that helps you and sorry for your family's loss. God bless.

P.S. If you don't put it in between wax paper it will stick to whatever you put it between.
Reply:I have pressed flowers by just putting them in a book, like a dictionary or Bible, and forgetting about it for approximately 6 weeks.

MUSLIM FLORAL Arrangements: FUNERAL?

2010-05-22T02:47:00.002-07:00

What (if any) are the guidelines for sending a floral arrangement to a Muslim funeral? Are there any specific flowers to be used, or specifically avoided?

Nanny Source

What should I bring to a memorial service?

2010-05-22T02:47:00.001-07:00

It is a memorial for a teen who commited suicide, do I bring flowers? They said memorial, not funeral so I'm not so sure.

What should I bring to a memorial service?
Flowers would be nice, but respect for the deceased, and condolescences for the family would go much farther.
Reply:You are not required to bring anything. If you bring flowers, you will have to give them to somebody to put with the other ones that were sent by floral shops, as the parents wiil be too full of grief and meeting people to take them there.

Just bring yourself, but be prepared to see a lot of crying.

Knowing that their child had a lot of friends will help them through this painful time.

Peace.
Reply:Flowers, and card, and just be supportive to the family.
Reply:Bring happy thoughts and wonderful stories of the deceased to share with the family and friends.

Flowers wilt and die, sharing lasts a lifetime.
Reply:I recommend bring a dish of some sort!

"My grandfather died two years ago, and I am making this dish, called "kolliva," to bring to a memorial service."
Reply:Whatever you bring, if it brought genuinely from your memory of the teen will be correct.
Reply:You don't want to arrive at a memorial service carrying flowers. If you want to give flowers,then have the florist deliver them.

There might be a memorial fund or scholarship fund set up in the teen's name. If there is, you can donate money to that.

And unless they stated that there is a meal following, I'd steer clear of bringing a dish to pass! You could really look like an idiot!
Reply:The memorial service is for the living. The dead need nothing. Check with the funeral home regarding flowers, etc.
Reply:I wouldn't bring anything with me, directly, at least not something like flowers or a plant. Those are better delivered by a florist. If you have time, you can get a certificate from a Suicide Prevention organization stating that you made a donation in the name of the deceased. If there isn't time enough to get it done before the memorial, you can send it in a couple of weeks. A lot of people remark that they feel smothered during the immediate time of their bereavement and then isolated after the fact. A card/note a couple of weeks after the service would be a nice, subtle way to say that the family of the dead child is in your thoughts and/or prayers.

You don't even have a contribute to a suicide-themed charity, you can have a tree planted in the deceased name or donate through the Heifer Project...or really, anything. It would be a nice, lasting memorial that goes beyond a potted lily or flower arrangement. I think the family of the late person would like to know that a part of their loved one continues to live on in the world.
Reply:Bring yourself to support loved ones. You won't want to walk in with flowers, but if you want to send them, send them in advance. You can find out if they are requesting money for a charity or something like that. But you do not bring things to funerals. Just look nice.
Reply:If you aren't sure, maybe you should have something that doesn't need to be refrigerated (or if flowers, wrapped in something waterproof with a little water to keep it fresh) and keep it in your car (or concealed in a big shoulder bag if you walked or took public transportation) until you can see for yourself (after 20 minutes or so) if others have brought food or flowers.

I am so sorry to hear that a young person in your acquaintance died. Your presence will mean a lot to the family. By the way, don't try to find the right thing to say to these people who have suffered such a tragedy. Warm handshakes or hugs (if you know them well enough) and maybe a simple I'm so sorry will do just fine.
Reply:A sympathy card. Some cultures put money inside to help with the funeral expenses.

My friend (a girl) died in a car accident and the funeral is tomorrow, what do I have to bring?

2010-05-22T02:47:00.000-07:00

i dont know whether i can bring flowers, i know i have to dress in all black, but how do i make it more personal if theres something more i can do , i dont know, can someone help me out, i cant go to sleep not being prepared for the funeral

My friend (a girl) died in a car accident and the funeral is tomorrow, what do I have to bring?
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. Nowadays you do not have to wear black to funerals. Just wear what you would wear to church, something clean, conservative and respectful. You are not expected to bring anything with you. You are there to pay your respects to her and her family. Mailing a sympathy card to the family would be appropriate, and taking flowers to leave at the cemetery would be nice. I usually order from a florist and then I don't have to carry them in. The florist will deliver them to the funeral. Again, you have my condolences. God Bless You.
Reply:is there something u guys made together that was really special? bring that or something of her favorite! i wish u the best !
Reply:It wont be disrespectful, to wear what you have, funerals aren't traditional anymore. My husbands cousin organized a funeral where the people wore white. Therefore just be you.
Reply:just be there....
Reply:A simple" I'm so sorry" card will last, and be personal without overwhelming the greiving family. Just being there is really what the family needs.
Reply:maybe some flowers and memory of you and her...
Reply:You should buy one single white rose and print out "The Lord's Prayer". This is very personal and shows that you will deeply miss her. Offer the family any help they might need and make sure you are available when they call on the favor. Good luck and I'm truely sorry for your loss.
Reply:Yes you can take flowers with you, or have them delivered by a florist. You do not have to wear all black, but be conservative in your choice of clothing. I would suggest a small packet of Kleenex tissues be placed into your purse, you'll need them. Take your heart felt sympathy to the family. Tell your friend how much she meant to you, speaking to the deceased is OK. Some people carry a small pocket camera to have final memories of the loved one. Perhaps you may like to place a small token of your affection for your friend into the casket. As heart breaking as it is for a loved one to pass away; try to be thankful for the time you were able to share with your friend. God Bless you.
Reply:You don't need anything else maybe some dark shades.
Reply:It's not like a dinner party where you bring the host a gift; you are not expected to bring anything to the funeral other than your condolences to the surviving family. If you wish to bring a small bouquet of flowers, that might be nice.

God bless you.
Reply:Take flowers.Keep her photograph in your room and pray for her every night.Try to console her parents.
Reply:Dress how you feel would be appropriate for the family, flowers are a nice touch. Give your sympathy and mourn your friend. Its okay if you cry, you loved her. I'm sorry for your loss Hun. Feel better.
Reply:a single white rose
Reply:Flowers is always a good thing. Also, you could go to Wal-Mart and get the "Best Friends" key chains or necklaces. Leave one in her casket and keep one for yourself. I am 30, and I still have the other half of mine from when I was 12 yrs old. It is small but very dear to me. They don't cast a whole lot either. Just go with care an sympathy for the family. If you were best friend, I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you bring a little token of your love.

How do you " freeze" dry or preserve a rose ?

2010-05-22T02:46:00.003-07:00

I got from the flowers sent to my daddys funeral ?

How do you " freeze" dry or preserve a rose ?
to save flowers forever i dry them...

you just take it and tape it to like the side of a wall upside down for a few days to even a week and it dries the flower up completely.

then you can take it and keep it forever! they look really pretty and sometimes still smell good!

im sorry about ur dad though!
Reply:You cannot "freeze dry" them at home. You can dry them by hanging them upside down, placing them in silica gel, or pressing them in a heavy book.

Funeral & Wake. What's appropriate to do?

2010-05-22T02:46:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure if I should go to my boss's mother wake/funeral. Never been to this in US :( Isn't it just for family/relatives? I'm working for him for 5 years now, seen his mother may be couple times. I've sent flowers with a note to funeral home, should I still go?

Thanks so much for your help!

Funeral %26amp; Wake. What's appropriate to do?
Definitely, go to the wake, which you can leave if you get uncomfortable. If possible, also go to the funeral. You may get a hint from your boss about that when you go to the wake.

Believe me, it is the physical presence of people, whether acquaintances, friends, or family that stays in a grieving person's heart.
Reply:If You has a close relationship with your boss you should go.

Being there might let the boss know that you are there for him professonally and personally!If you where invited do go!
Reply:depends how close you are w/your boss. You already sent flowers %26amp; a card, which is certainly enuf. If you're prett close, just go to the wake.
Reply:I agree it depends on your relationship with your boss, how close you are. You seen his mother a couple of times was it at his home or at the office. Funerals are for family/relatives and friends. It means a lot to people to see family, friends, co-workers at a funeral of a love one. I hope that helps.
Reply:Just go out of respect for your boss.
Reply:You should go to the wake just to pay your respects. You don't have to stay long (like maybe an hour.) The funeral would only be for family so you should not go to that.
Reply:You could go to one or the other, but sending flowers is appropriate also, he knows you were thinking of him in time of need. It is not limited to family, it is appropriate for any person who knew the deceased or family member of to attend.
Reply:I would go to the wake only and pay your respects.
Reply:I agree that if you have a close working relationship with your boss, then you should at least make an appearance. Just a brief visit, and saying how sorry you are for his loss is always appreciated. Funerals, unless specified in the obituary, are attended by both friends and family. Most people are grateful for any kind of comfort and support at that time. It was very nice of you to send flowers, also,
Reply:Just go to the funeral.... not as a relative but as a friend who just want to pay respect and also to comfort someone
Reply:I would go to the wake, but not the funeral. If you might feel uncomfortable, take a coworker or a spouse or an older family member. Honestly, older folks are sometimes more comfortable going to these things because they know and understand the ritual and have gone to them before. I always found it easier to ask a grandparent to go (or if it was a funeral in the family to remain by a grandparent) because they understand what is expected and appropriate.

My family is Irish-American and sometimes when a person on that side of the family dies, they still do a more traditional wake, but not in the home. People my mother's age in the family would not be uncomfortable with everyone coming to the funeral, but people my grandparents' age sometimes expect the funeral to be private and the wake to be a time for people to gather and remember. My Jewish friend who lost her mother to cancer at a young age (we were just in high school) found a lot of comfort in a similar ritual. It might feel weird at first, but it is totally acceptable to say "I didn't know the deceased very well, but I work with her son/daughter and I am here to support him/her." When my step-grandmother died, my stepdad's coworkers came and I know he really felt their support.
Reply:i think that you have done the right respectful thing by sending flowers and and a note ......you may go to the church if you wish , the funeral home is for close people .......if you got instructions on how to get there ? please go , and stay very discreet ,on the back part away from family members ...........
Reply:i would go...if you only want to go to one, then go to the funeral....even tho you didn't know his mother, you are really not going for her anyways, but are going to support the grieving family....and no a wake is not just for family

running shoes

Is Love the Funeral of Hearts?

2010-05-22T02:46:00.001-07:00

Love's the funeral of hearts

And an ode for cruelty

When angels cry blood

On flowers of evil in bloom

The funeral of hearts

And a plea for mercy

When love is a gun

Separating me from you

Do you agree with that?

(By the way, I'm not "emo" or anything - I just happen to like this song!)

Is Love the Funeral of Hearts?
the more you expect out of love , the more it hurts you. People should expect so much out of it and just live according to. Love yourself more than the person youre in love, so if they hurt you, you still know you have the utmost love. Poepleonly do to you what you allow them to.
Reply:Emo? Where the hell did you get that from?!! "HIM" happens to be "Gothic Rock". Probably one of the best out there. Ville Valo is genius. Oh, and as far as love....love is death...listen to thy heart.

Take care, sweetheart.
Reply:"To love is to suffer.

To avoid suffering one must not love.

But then one suffers from not loving.

Therefore, to love is to suffer;

not to love is to suffer;

to suffer is to suffer.

To be happy is to love.

To be happy, then, is to suffer,

but suffering makes one unhappy.

Therefore, to be unhappy,

one must love or love to suffer

or suffer from too much happiness."

--Diane Keaton, Love and Death (1975)
Reply:emo? What's that?

I don't agree with this pessimistic view of love being a funeral of hearts. Plea for mercy? Angels crying blood? Doesn't sound ANYTHING like love to me. More like some bloodbath!
Reply:Yes, love is suicide !

I like H-I-M , Funeral of Hearts is a sad song !
Reply:well that depends on whether or not you believe in separation
Reply:nah, its not. Love enlightens the soul in various ways.
Reply:Love is when the heart is most alive, and most vulnerable.....any kind of disturbance of love can lead to that funeral.
Reply:Pathetique Miserable.
Reply:in some cases i would say yes
Reply:Love is a smile on your face
Reply:Love is the cultural symbol for the perfect relationship. Like all human ideas of 'perfect' it can not exist in reality and is only an unattainable goal that you are force to believe in.

The song is talking about disappointment more than the icon of LOVE.

An expectation that the 'perfect relationship' was attainable and available was developed and when the realization that this was not the case, as in every case, disappointment causes the imagined suffering referred to here.

In the end it is just that the writer of this song did not get what they want and are angry about it.

What kind of props could I use for a report on Mihalia Jackson-the gospel singer?

2010-05-22T02:46:00.000-07:00

My daughter has to do a report on Mihalia Jackson the gospel singer-what kind of props can she get together for the report? We know she is in the Gospel Hall of Fame, she was a symbol for civil rights,she sang at Martin Luther Kings funeral,she owned a flower shop and a beauty salon, but, we canno't think of anything interesting to bring in, she also has to dress like her-any suggestions would be so appreciated.

What kind of props could I use for a report on Mihalia Jackson-the gospel singer?
There was a play/musical written about her growing up called "Do Black Patten Leather Shoes Really Reflect UP?" I suggest your daughter dress in black patten leather shoes, have a Bible, wear anklet socks and a dress. If she can jump rope have her take one and recite a rhyme while skipping. Many kids learned rhythm and rhyme/musical skills while playing such games. She could sing something like "Miss Susie had a steam boat, her steam boat had a bell, Miss Susie when to Heaven her steam boat went to Hello operator give me number nine....
Reply:Mahalia Jackson is often pictured in choir robes. I think that might be a good prop. A microphone for singing is another good one. Perhaps some sheet music - Go Tell It on the Mountain was one of her most famous recordings. Good luck!
Reply:All I can say is to look at some pics of her and copy what you see there...
Reply:Do an image on yahoo or even google. You can get some dressing ideas there.. My mother and grandmother had lot's of her albums when I was a kid. I grew up listening to gospel and jazz.. I always wondered why they never played her type of music in my church(Catholic). I am now a musician and still think she was one of the greats. Not bad for a white kid from NJ..
Reply:How about her voice,was used for Gods,Glory...Two points..

Does anyone have the address of the funeral home where Sweet Elf will have her funeral?

2010-05-22T02:45:00.003-07:00

I just found out that it was true that she was killed yesterday. I will miss her, she was a very dedicated P/s'er.

If any of her real life friends are on here and have the address please let me know. I would like to send some flowers.

Does anyone have the address of the funeral home where Sweet Elf will have her funeral?
She's not dead, she just answered your last question.
Reply:are you serious???? sweet elf was killed? what the heck happened??? I loved her silliness.....Im so sad now please let me know soon I have to leave in less than a 1/2 hour ....thnks
Reply:aww man
Reply:need details what happened ,where did it happen and is there any way we can send our sympathy cards or thing like that
Reply:It's sad prolific askers have very short YA shelf life.

When Sweet Elf resurrects she should learn not to ask, but only answer qs with the very brilliant words yes or no.

If she will be cremated I'll bring the urn.
Reply:what happened?

Poem/Monologue: Faded Flowers (please let me know what you think)?

2010-05-22T02:45:00.002-07:00

This was written about an ex-friend who "loved" someone too much. It has some light mature content. If you are uncomfortable with that please stop reading. I think this is more of an audition monologue with a few poetic elements--so, think of it in that way instead of just as a poem. Let me know if you like it.

Faded Flowers

I really knew it was over when I found my bags packed,

and placed neatly on the doorstep. You were always

so considerate. I admired your attention to detail.

The way you would clean the sheets

after your afternoon romps with whomever.

If I were more like you I would have called first,

or at least knocked. Well, I just wanted you to know,

I appreciated you packing my bags between orgasms.

It’s pathetic but I still held out hope

that we’d get back together.

Yes, you said, “I hate you!” But,

it was how you said it. Confusion.

That’s what I heard in your voice.

You’d come around.

So, I waited

and watched

in a friend’s car across the street.

You were never alone, but you seemed

so lonely. Fragile. I wanted to hold you.

I know, I know, I got a little crazy

all right obsessive. What could I do?

You did this to me.

I began to see how you really were.

You didn’t deserve my love.

You may have noticed--you never noticed!

But I went to your funeral. I brought you flowers.

Stargazer lilies, the ones you like.

The minister was babbling on

Shadow of death

Not fearing evil.

I had nothing left to fear, you were dead.

He said, you were in a better place.

I find that hard to believe after

all the pain you caused me.

What was more troubling

was the thought that you might

come back in another life. I’d have

to go through this all over again.

So, I bowed my head in prayer to whatever God

would make you.

And quietly, very quietly, salted the earth.

Poem/Monologue: Faded Flowers (please let me know what you think)?
I really like it.

I can really appreciate it because it sounds like the kind of work that comes from experience. That kind of work deserves respect.

Really well put together. Coherent, relevant thoughts. Great transitions and word chioce. Profound meaning.

A++
Reply:Todd,

Once again you have written an excellent piece! It is beautiful! I do agree with you it is a poetic monologue! It is very sad and vivid!

-Mom Report It

Reply:*le sigh* Beautiful.
Reply:Wow that is a beautiful but haunting poem,It hits a nerve in my heart; very good writing...
Reply:It's very good. All the appropiate elements are there.

My only but is the fact that in some places, you were very vague for the reader, sort of drawing them a picture. But in other parts, you were very literal. You got straight to the point. This mixture was fine but I would watch that.

But over all, an A.

I also think it would be a lot more effective in present tense. Just try it and you'll see what I mean.
Reply:Generally speaking subjects like this are too narrow. Broader, more ephemeral subjects offer the opportunity to say something that's relevant to most people. This does not.

That said, there are a couple of very good lines in this piece but overall it seems forced to me.
Reply:Wow. That was deep. I've felt that way before too. Loving some one even more when there purposely hurting you. But for a while you think they you can change them. That your love will be enough to over power them. But in the end......

well not exactly a happy ending.....

PDA

My turkish boyfriends father just passed away, what do i do for the funeral?

2010-05-22T02:45:00.001-07:00

His funeral is tomorrow, and I want to know what is appropriate, as far as flowers, cards etc are concerned? is there any sort of traditional protocol I should follow?

My turkish boyfriends father just passed away, what do i do for the funeral?
First, my condolences to you and your boyfriend.Though the occasion is a sad one, the answer is simple.Tell your boyfriend how sorry you are that he lost his father, that you love him and know he is in a lot of pain and probably confused, and to tell you how you can help ease his sorrow.Remember even if is Turkish, he is still a human being with a heart that is in mourning.Being there for him any way that helps him is more important than the protocols i.e flowers, cards, etc.
Reply:Sending cards or flowers isn't really common here. As for what you can do...try to be there. Ask the family if they need anything. You can even cook for them if you know how to cook Turkish food. Or you can even make and serve tea or coffee to the visitors.

If you don't feel comfortable doing these, just be there and try to share their sorrow. That will do.
Reply:personally if it was my case I'd want my lover to be there for me, hold me confort me, and if you weren't planning on it go to the funeral and to the wake with him,,

as for the flowers and card,,it would be really secondary compared to you being there for him

Flowers for a cremation?

2010-05-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, a friend's mother died last week and she is being cremated. I was just wondering how it works with flowers at a cremation? At a funeral you can place flowers beside the graveside, but as I have never been to a cremation before, i was wondering what to do.

Please help!

Flowers for a cremation?
usually the family will notify whether they wish flowers or not

and any flowers brought will be placed at the service and people will read them afterwards

it is optional
Reply:It's no different that a "traditional" funeral. I would think about asking the family, they may perfer you make a donation in the person's name to a group that supports / reseaches whatever they died from.

My sympathies for your friend's loss.
Reply:yes, send flowers. that is very nice.
Reply:yes ...flowers or a vessel for the ashes
Reply:Some families will have flowers divided up between family members to take home others will donate to a nursing home.

Some Nursing Homes has a group of more capable residents that enjoy arranging the flowers into smaller bouquets and then they are shared with those who are room bound.
Reply:From previous funerals and cremations that I have attended, this is what I can offer ... nobody actually attends the cremation portion of the service. There might be a service in the funeral chapel, or the chapel of the crematorium (if it has one), but not during the actual cremation itself. If there is an inurnment to follow (the burial of the urn which contains the ashes), many people like to each put a rose in the grave after the urn has been placed. It is a kind tribute to the deceased. However, if there is no inurnment (assuming that the urn may be given to a relative to keep), then I would suggest flowers for the persons who have the urn. I know it's a difficult time for people, and your kindness will be greatly appreciated.
Reply:my grampie recently died (june 1st) and my grandmother had a veiwing of the body before they did the cremation and they layed the roses on his chest ♥
Reply:I have worked in the floral industry and went through a cremation funeral a few years ago with my mother's death. That said, each funeral director has their own way of doing things which usually includes a stand (much like typical funeral) for the flower arrangements and/or plants. (hint) If you send your flowers/plants to the funeral home in advance, the director/or visiting florists will set it all up for you.
Reply:The flowers are usually placed around a photo of the deceased at the service
Reply:You wont view the cemation - it will be a memorial service %26amp; a urn of some sort will be there - it contains the loved ones ashes. Any flower arrangement that is appropriate for a casket funeral service is still appropriate when someone has been cremated.

Hope that helps.
Reply:You won't be at the actual cremation. You will attend a memorial service. Flowers are perfectly acceptable, and are usually of the sort that family members of the deceased can take them home for decor after the memorial.

What can I do with a flower?

2010-05-22T02:44:00.002-07:00

My grandmother died about a year ago and I got a flower from her funeral and I was going to press it but I forgot to, my mom has a few pressed but I want to do SOMETHING with this one, its too frail to press it, it is currently on my dresser and I never touch it for fear of it turning to dust, I need an inexpensive place/thing to put it in that I can look at and see it.

What can I do with a flower?
Go to a local craft store. Ask them for a product called procelain flower. It's a grainular substance that you use to preserve flowers. You place the flower in a plastic container, pour the product on the flower, place the lid on the container and leave for 48 hours. After the 48 hrs, the flower takes on a porcelain-like structure. It makes for some beautiful flowers. I've use it for years.
Reply:If you just leave it like that, wouldn't it just wither off and die and stuff?

You could glaze it, you know how they have flowers with the glass glazing it? That would be pretty and the flower would be intact. I am not sure it would be inexpensive though...
Reply:Get a small picture frame and put a nice colored backing in it,then gently move the flower so it will be on the frame bottom.Now put the glass on your memory.You could have a photo in there or a date for you to remember.Condolences...
Reply:Go to a craft or hobby store, such as JoAnn or Hobby Lobby and see about getting a glass display container or vase. I'd get some satin or even a satin pillow and put the flower on the satin inside of the case. That way, it's safe from dust and further damage.
Reply:Nursher it, keep it with care in rememberance of your grandma. Treat it like you would treat her; with love and care. Take a simple vase, stuff it with rich sweet soil, then grow it in the vase and where to put it depends what flower it is. You could probably find many more interesting things to do with it if you search google. Just remember, it was the last thing in rememberance of your grandma so care for it like you would with her. God Bless!!!
Reply:Make a shadow box dedicated to your grandmother. Put pictures of her in it and the rose, you'll remember it for ever and with it being in the shadow box it will not get ruined.
Reply:A little glass jar.
Reply:take a picture of it, once in your computer, you can use it as your avatar.
Reply:Pyramids preserve anything placed under their apex, so get a glass pyramid you can put it in to preserve it. I can't explain why pyramids do this, but they do!

I forgot to give flower to best GF FUNERAL?

2010-05-22T02:44:00.001-07:00

i left b4 they went go the grave. i still have the flower with me but is getting old, i mean the flower. do i have to buy another flower or go to the grave with same flower?

I forgot to give flower to best GF FUNERAL?
BUY 12 ROSES
Reply:Hey, its ok. Shes always watching you. Give her what ever you think is best. The old flower or some new ones.

Flowers are wonderful to give to your GF that has died. It is very good to show that you care. Flowers are beautiful. I suggest Roses. Means love. Means that you cared.

Hope this Helps

Lara
Reply:Take the old one and also buy or pick a new one to take.
Reply:Do what you think is best for yourself and her memory.
Reply:Do whatever you feel led to do.

riding boots

Is it ok to wear a flower to a funeral, if so which?

2010-05-22T02:44:00.000-07:00

a rose or carnation would be acceptable

Is it ok to wear a flower to a funeral, if so which?
I think Carnations are traditional.
Reply:why's this in weddings?
Reply:Pink carnation or red rose. A white rose or carnation is ok too
Reply:Yeh were a DEAD rose that wud be ok!
Reply:White rose is best. It shows sincerity.

Why are funeral homes segragated by race? Is it like that everywhere?

2010-05-22T02:43:00.003-07:00

Recently, a fellow student at the University I attend, mom passed away suddenly. I wanted to send flowers to the funeral home because I didn't have her home address. One friend suggested to just call the funeral home. (There are 4 in the area) When I asked, which one? Her reply...Duh, the "white ones of course!"--I had never heard of such a thing. I've been in the US for 41/2 years. I've learned so much while being here and this has peaked my curiousity. Is that an unwritten rule everywhere or is it more prevelant in the southern states? Thanks

Why are funeral homes segragated by race? Is it like that everywhere?
I've lived in the US my entire life - I have never heard of funeral homes being segragated (at least not anymore). Back when segragation was in place, they probably were. But currently, I don't believe that they are.
Reply:Not in the UK. You are some issue with different religions and the different rites they all have. But usally there's one big cemeterary and crematorium in each town.
Reply:never heard of this one
Reply:IT SOUNDS LIKE THE PROBLEM IS WITH YOUR FRIEND'S OPINIONS NOT THE FUNERAL HOME.

HOWEVER, I'VE LIVED HERE MY WHOLE LIFE AND NOTHING SURPRISES ME!

Grandpa's funeral?

2010-05-22T02:43:00.002-07:00

I recently found out that my biological's father died last wednesday. I found out before the funeral and visitation. I have not seen my grandfather or grandmother since I was 5 and haven't talked to them since I was 13. I have not seen my biological father since I was 8, (I'm 21 now).

My mom found his obituary online and showed it to me. I wasn't mentioned at all, (which I have mixed feelings about...although I haven't seen the man in 16 years, I'm still his granddaughter).

I sent a beautiful spray of flowers to the funeral home with a very nice note with the flowers, but I didn't go to the funeral, (as I didn't think it would be appropriate).

Do you think I did the right thing? I've been very hostile with this side of the family, (as they have ignored me my entire life), and I put those feelings aside. I would LIKE a thank you, but I am not expecting it.

I just simply want some reassurance.

Thanks :)

Grandpa's funeral?
You did the right thing. You did a gracious and kind thing. People who have been unkind or uncaring to you, who have not reached out to you or acknowledged you WERE acknowledged by you during their time of grief. You reached out to them.

You sound like a very fine young lady and like your mother raised you to be sensitive and well-mannered - even to people who have not been kind to you.

I would say don't wait for their thanks, but hold your head up, knowing you did something that many, many people would never think to do.

It's possible that you'll get a thank-you note later (it took me a few weeks to write to all the people who went to my mother's funeral or sent flowers or a donation in her name). But don't wait for it.

When you do something fine and good - which you have done - you build your own character into someone fine and good. You don't need thanks. You didn't do it to be thanked, acknowledged, praised or recognized. You did it because it was kind and right. Virtue is its own reward.

I think you should say 'thank you' to someone else instead: to your mother, for raising you to be someone as sensitive and gracious as you are!
Reply:Yes, I think sending a flower spray was very appropriate for the situation. Going to the funeral may have been uncomfortable for both you and the family, but you still expressed your sympathy and thoughts by sending flowers.

I'm sorry for your loss, and hope you find a thank you in the mail soon! What you did was classy and thoughtful.
Reply:You did the right thing. Sending flowers and a note was fine. I agree with you about the Thank You. Don't hold your breath. But, know that in your heart, you sent flowers and a note of sympathy.That is generous considering your past history with the family.

I am sorry for your loss.
Reply:Since you did not feel welcomed by that side of the family, and you were not personally notified of the funeral your attendance was not expected. Sending a bouquet and a note is a very nice and appropriate sign of sympathy.
Reply:Yes, you definitely did the right thing. It has to have been hurtful that you weren't mentioned in the obituary, but you've shown more class than the rest of the family has.
Reply:You handled it beautifully. A thank you is in order, but if you do not receive one, don't be surprised. Who ever put the obit in the paper should be ashamed to exclude you. I am sorry for your loss.
Reply:Sorry for your loss. I admire you for taking the high road. Don't worry about getting a thank you from them...if it comes, great, but if not, please know that we who have posted here are grateful that you did the right thing.
Reply:Yes, you showed true dignity by sending the flowers. You can never go wrong by taking the high road. Sounds like you've grown up to be a wonderful person with out them!
Reply:It is ok. Your absence wasn't going to surprise anyone, and it could not have changed anything.
Reply:That was very nice of you to send flowers. I often do not receive an acknowledgement for what I send in memory of a person, depending on who the survivors are. Sometimes they are too bereft and/or do not know the protocol of sending thank you acknowledgements, either printed or written by hand. So dont be measuring anything by whether you recieve a thank you ( although it is proper to send one) The dynamics of your family situation are hard on everyone and you probably do not know all of the details of who said and did what in the past . But you seem to be rising above it all and are willing to move past ' the past' and start today with what time is left. Since after all, soon it will be you and all of us who are going to be dead. I salute your putting the feelings of hostility aside as they only eat away at one. It is good you formulate your OWN relationship with your grandparents and perhaps in a week or so call them and say you are thinking of them and is there anything they need. I wouldnt involve your mother in this at all. She has her own experience and needs in this but yours should be separate. Maybe you will be able to see them.I wouldnt mention about why you didnt attend or that you didnt attend the service, since that is over with and does not need to be made an issue of.
Reply:I think what you did was fine. As for the thank you, it's the right thing for them to do, but I hope you didn't send the flowers expecting it. Don't get upset if it doesn't come; they haven't done the right thing so far.

That being said, maybe this is a good time to reach out and try to make peace. Sending those flowers was a good start, maybe you could follow it up with a phone call. By rights, it should come from them, but you can choose to be the grown up here and make the first couple of steps, if you want to. I had almost n contact with my Dad or his side of the family when I was younger, but started to interact with them a little bit here and there once I turned 18. It's hard, there are a lot of hurt feelings on my part, but I really want to make this work for my own sake, so I'm trying.

Flowers the size of roses or calla lilies, but definately NOT roses, calla lilies, daisies or carnations?

2010-05-22T02:43:00.001-07:00

I was going to use a bunch of orchids but now I am thinking of carrying just a few stems of something. I want the flowers to be the size of normal roses, but I don't like roses or calla lilies (too typical), daisies (too plain) and carnations (they remind my man of funerals). I would want them to be able to be in white, cream, or blue.

Flowers the size of roses or calla lilies, but definately NOT roses, calla lilies, daisies or carnations?
amaryllis
Reply:White:

Tulips

Alstroemeria

Amaryllis

Anemone

Aster Matsumoto

Bouvardia

Callas, Mini

Campanula

Dahlias

Freesia

*************Gardenia********* ((this one looks alot like a rose))

Lily of the Valley

Lisianthus (((another one that looks rose like)))

Orchid, Cattleya

Orchids, Cymbidium

Paperwhites

Peonies

Stephanotis

Cream:

Gerbera

Jasmine Flowers

Cream Rhododendron

Blue:

Anemone

Cornflower

Delphinium

Hydrangea

Iris

Monkshood

Trachelium

Veronica
Reply:Peonies are stunning, when closed they look like balls but when they open they look like wild roses and smell like Turkish delight.
Reply:Asiatic or Peruvian Lillies

Snapdragons

Stephanotis

Gardenias

Camelias

Tulips
Reply:Well why don't you try google and type in "long stemmed flowers" or "big flowers long stems" I typed that in and got two different types of flowers right off the bat. I don't know you personally so I have no clue if it's something you would actually like but there are "Gladiolas" and "Dahlias" you can type in those flowers into google and see if they come in any colors you like. I think they come in a bunch of different colors. I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for if you just look around a bit.

I'm using Big white Orchids and long stemmed Calla Lily's (think Eva Langorias Bouquet to a "T") and adding a few smaller purple flowers and some Bear Grass. The Calla Lily's are more just for the stems and support but they get hidden behind the Orchids. You could try something like that too if you really like orchids (They are my favorite). I hope you find what you are looking for!!! GOOD LUCK!!!
Reply:Magnolia Blossoms

Hydrangea Blossom heads

Daffodils

Peonies

Passion flower blossoms (various colors)

White double Hybiscus

Bird of Paradise (more colorful than you wanted, but different)

Moonflowers

Gardenias
Reply:what about stargazer lilies? i just went to a wedding where the bride had white stargazer lilies and the bridesmaids had pink stargzers. beautiful!
Reply:Tulips are lovely.

You're going to have a hard time finding blue flowers. Have you considered hydrangeas? They're bigger than what you're asking for but if you get ones in blue they have a nice look.
Reply:What about sweet peas? Here are some gorgeous bouqets, check out the ones on the second to last row. (Sweet peas and blue). Another idea might by hydrangeas. Or you could do any white flower then add a blue ribbons around it.

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=h...

Start java

How do you go about writing a thankyou letter?

2010-05-22T02:43:00.000-07:00

I have to write thankyou letters to people, thanking them for taking part, and messages of sympathy, and flowers, at my mums funeral.

What do I say, and how do I write them, as its not like a normal thankyou.

I would also like to thankyou all for all your words of comfort and prayers. I am honoured to know so many good friends.

Thankyou all so much, and God bless

How do you go about writing a thankyou letter?
First of all I'm sorry to hear about your mum, even though I didn't know her, and my thoughts are with you.

Here are some tips:

1) Thank the person for coming

2) Let them know how much it meant to have them there

3) Recall a brief memory of how they made an impact on your mum's life.

I think the most important thing is not to go overboard, they know you're going through a sad time in your life, and they will understand.

Like I said, my thoughts are with you.

Jen
Reply:The simplest way around this is to buy or make some cards with an apropriate pictur or something on the card, with the words thankyou in side, and then to make it personal, you should reiterate what you are thanking them for, then put your name at the bottom.
Reply:First, I am very sorry for your loss. Typically, the funeral home provide these for you. Ask the director. There are thank you cards out there for this circumstance as well....you may add an additional message it you like, but it is not necessary.
Reply:Just make it short and thank them for their support during your tought times.
Reply:Go to the stationery department of your favorite store and buy a package or two of Thank You cards....there will be several designed for sending after a funeral (they will say "Thank you for your kindness during this difficult time..." or something to that effect). The greeting card companies have made this a little easier with these packs of 10 or so cards all printed with "thank you" on the fronts of them.

Address each one to the person intended, and inside the card write a brief message of thanks....."Thank you for the lovely flowers you sent to Mother's funeral. I appreciate your kind thoughts." or "Thank you for your help with Mother's funeral. Your thought fullness was needed at this difficult time."

Make each message specific to the person and their action.

I, too have lost my mother. You have my sympathies.
Reply:Dave, I'm SO sorry about your Mum. When I heard, it really affected me deeply to know that you %26amp; Tam were hurting. It's good to see you on here again %26amp; I just wanted you know that I'm praying for you %26amp; your family during this difficult time. I don't know what you should say in your Thank You cards but whatever you say I'm sure people will know that you appreciate them doing whatever is was that they did to help you during this time. (((HUGS)))
Reply:just buy some thankyou cards and sign your name like any other card so u don't have to write anything.
Reply:Dear

Words cannot express how greatful I am to you for your support since the death of my Mother. Your actions have been of great comfort to me.

I think something like that is enough, people I think will be be suprised that you've taken the time to thank them so that will be fine.
Reply:Dear Dave,

You need to start the letter with:

Dear NAME,

I really like to thank you for coming to my moms funeral. I really appreiciate all that you did during her lifetime. I know that she is in a better place and will be watching over all of us.

Thank You,

skfkhdkjhfdjs
Reply:just thank people for coming to the funeral and add

I would also like to thank you all for all your words of comfort and prayers. I am honoured to know so many good friends.

Thankyou all so much, and God bless.

See, you have just said it very nicely on here.
Reply:Buy a stack of simple pre-packaged "Thank You" cards with envelopes.

Write:

Dear ___________,

Thank you for your kindness and sympathy during our time of loss. You should know that you made a difference and that it was greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

________

[That's how I would do it. I'm very sorry for your mother's passing.]
Reply:sample letter:

dear soandso

thank you so much for attending (name of your mom's) funeral. it really meant a lot to me that you where able to come. i appreciate the flowers you brought

love always (your name here)
Reply:start with dear who ever it may be, describe how the things made u you feel after the funeral . i would have been really happy! tell them how you aprreciated they came, what made it special they came. and end it with

love,

whatever ur name may be or sincerly or thanks for coming
Reply:a lot of folks write a thank you message in a news paper. but to the closest people around you that was there for you, start out by saying thank you for the kindness that i and my family received during our time of need. also thank them if they brought food for you. your very welcome in the note of thanks from you.
Reply:Start with THANK YOU ........................................... BLA BLA BLA BLA ........... THANKS AGAIN..........YOUR NAME.

What is it like to be an undertaker for profession?

2010-05-22T02:42:00.003-07:00

I had a job as a flower delivery. I was send to a funeral home, to deliver flowers. I asked them where I could leave the flowers, and they told me to put it in the cooler and pointed to some big metal doors. I was so scared to find dead bodies in there that I left the flowers in the hall way and toke off. I still can hear them laugh at me.

What is it like to be an undertaker for profession?
It's a chosen profession like anything else. Some are cut out for it and some aren't. I feel so sorry for you that they pulled that cruel joke on you. We would never do that to an outsider. We all had a sense of humor (you have to), but we were also very compassionate, hard working people. It wasn't originally my chosen field, and my parents thought I was crazy, but I've never regretted doing it for 17 yrs. At first it was 'fear of the unknown', but after adjusting, it was an amazing profession. Next time you go (preferably to another funeral home) ;) ask for a tour. It's much better to be familiar with one before you actually need one. They won't subject you to 'creepy' things.

Downside...making funeral arrangements for babies and children :(
Reply:You would get used to it just as they did most likely. I did know a guy who got out of the business because it got to him after a number of years though.
Reply:Well, there is the midnight shift, the long hours, darkness, weird noises, back breaking shoveling, the smell, ghosts, restless spirits, sleepless days, and the worst part-the ones that wake up. Apart from that, the pay is good, they give you the uniforms (black suits) we have a nice big ride with a lot of space for speakers, we get free flowers for our significant others, and free shoes.

Why are flowers and wreaths given at funerals?

2010-05-22T02:42:00.002-07:00

Flowers at a funeral is an old tradition. In the old days they did not have the technology to embalm bodies properly so they would start the domposition process quicker. With that being said, people used to bring lots of flowers to cover up the stink of the dead body. The wreath was the normal set up for the flowers "A ring of posies". Remember the old childrens song... Ring around the rosies pockets full of posies, ashes ashes we all fall down? It literally means rings of roses, rings of posies, this is what you bring when we all die. It was a game for children at funerals to play. Hope this helps :)

Why are flowers and wreaths given at funerals?
years ago there was no such thing as embalming, so a body was washed only, laid on a table or stone slab, intime the body turns, begins to decay, and a smell omitted from it, so flowers were laid about it to mask the smell,

today the process of embalming happens, but in the 17th, 18th century, the dead were placed in lead lined coffins, this sort of mummifyed them,

then embalming occurred formaldehyde is put inside the body, all blood removed, this acts as a sheild to make the person much more pleasent to view before burial, also germ free, but eventually it would turn decay begins and the process starts, you go from flesh, to liquid, bones grim really, but thats all i can say, on the matter,
Reply:I think its to show respect for the dead.
Reply:It is a mark of respect, but there is an element of disguising odours before modern embalming techniques were introduced. The ring of roses poem was about the plague, at that time people believed that bad smells =disease and that by having a good smell disease could be avoided. As is evidenced in the last line... "Atishoo Atishoo, we all fall down!
Reply:it's a personal choice if you want to .Some people don't want anything or they choose to have the money spent on worth while charities. Don't really know who ever started it off but I guess if you were to go on the net you would find something to ease your curiosity x
Reply:in day gone by when undertakers did not treat the body it would smell - the flowers covered the smell
Reply:Same reason they are given at weddings.

Pagan symbol of life eternal; both beautiful and carrying the seeds of the future.

A flower dies life is reborn.

Virginity being the flower that should die in marraige or at least when Pagans were in charge.
Reply:i really don't know

Appropriate flowers for Indian Lady?

2010-05-22T02:42:00.001-07:00

Hi, the guy who has been making some costumes for me has a wife (Indian Lady) who is very poorly and I would like to take her some flowers when I collect my costumes, what sort would be correct, as I know in British culture that certain flowers have particular meanings, eg red roses (love) white roses (eternity) Lillies for funerals etc etc and if there are similar traditions in India I would not like to upset her by giving her something inappropriate. so any suggestions please.

Appropriate flowers for Indian Lady?
Here is a website within India that explains the meaning of each type of flower, I hope it is helpful to you.

http://www.allindiaflowers.com/flowers-t...
Reply:Honeysuckle, bluebells, daffodils. I think they'd be appropriate. I think I've managed to copy the link correctly (first time!) but check out the website anyway:

http://www.thegardener.btinternet.co.uk/...

It gives the meaning of various flowers. Luckx

EDIT: Jesus - what are some of you like? Bambi only wants to make sure she's not insulting this lady, hence the question. There is absolutely NO NEED for responding in a negative manner. If you CAN'T answer the question positively DON'T answer at all - and certainly not with insults!
Reply:I found this for you:

http://www.indiaflowerdeliveries.com/flo...
Reply:Hey girl I say go with whatever you want. She'd be happy that you thought about her enough to get her flowers. Just think what would you get your mother and get the same for her. Oh by the way I think flowers sort of carry the same meaning throughout the world like red roses for example is a universal thing representing passion and love.
Reply:Sorry for the inappropriate comments made by an adviser below. He has proved his birth and upbringing as also his fitness to suggest on etiquette. I AM AN INDIAN. Brothers are allowed to present any flower to an Indian lady. If she is young, a single rose would be appropriate. Jasmine for the middle aged and above. A bouquet may also be good
Reply:You won't offend her by bringing her a bunch of flowers of all different kinds. Stop stressing this.
Reply:Hey there. I'm of Indian descent (parents are from India) and my female relatives love all types of exotic flowers; lillies, orchids, etc. They love garlands too. If you can find a water lily (loctus) you will be in good! It is the national flower; hope this helps! Good luck. Hey if you dont want to go that route, you can always try to make a good Indian dish such as tandoori chicken or anything spicy.
Reply:Why not just give her a lotus? They symbolize strength, respect, honor and prosperity in Indian culture.
Reply:in india all flowers are considered equal, you would see colourful carnations at weddings, parties and at funerals too...what ever the reason indians always use lots of 'colourful' flowers.

white flowers are not only for funerals, married indian ladies love decorating their hair with white jasmines.

i suggest give her a beautiful bouquet of colourfull flowers.

specially orange,yellow,magenta/pink flowers are a must.
Reply:White flowers are used at Indian funerals, so I would steer clear of those (especially if she is ill)
Reply:Jasmines or rajnigandha(don't know what they are called in English).
Reply:carnation
Reply:Same as you would buy anyone else!!!!!!!!!!

Stop being an idiot.

shoes stock

Funeral Eqiquette?

2010-05-22T02:42:00.000-07:00

If your uncle (to whom you were not too close) passed away and you send flowers to the funeral to the tune of $129.00 would you also give a sympathy card with some cash?

Funeral Eqiquette?
Only if the person who is responsible for covering the burial did not collect on life insurance on the deceased. If they did, then no cash is necessary.
Reply:No way!! Who is going to get the cash? Certainly not your uncle. You could send a sympathy card separately to his immediate family if you're close to them, and want to do that. In with the flowers, I think it would be normal for the florist to put a card saying who they were from, and maybe a little message on that.
Reply:I think it depends on what your uncle's immediate family needs. It was kind of you to send flowers, but not truly necessary. If you think the family will need help paying for the funeral and other bills and you have some money to spare, go for it. Keep in mind what the family will use the cash for: Is it for a memorial fund or will it help them pay off bills? If it's for a memorial fund and you're short of money, you may be able to skip that or wait until you're a bit more flush before sending money.
Reply:very generous thought but i believe the flowers are expressing a sufficient amount of deepest sympathy
Reply:the flowers should be enough!
Reply:No, sounds like you did quite enough.
Reply:The answer is "no", when you go to the funeral home for the wake ,sign the guest book and that's it!
Reply:I'm not sure where you live, but $129 is a lot for flowers. I would also send a card, but would not include extra money. The card with the flowers is just a card listing who sent the flowers, but you should send a sympathy card that you include a personalized note.
Reply:Send card, and note to survivors, no money. If the family needed money, it would have been better before, or for future consideration, to send money and no flowers. Always send a card. (Note; for family members whom you are not close to, you could group together for flowers and still send money, but $129. is more than enough to show your respect to the family).
Reply:Nothing is necessary. Give what you feel is comfortable. It is the uncle's immediate family that you are there for. Think of them first not how close you were to the uncle.
Reply:No, the florist will include a sympathy card of your choice.

Usually cash would be a donation to a designated charity.

It's either/or not both; some families discourage flowers.
Reply:No the flowers should be enough.
Reply:No, the flowers and the card are sufficient. Actually, the flowers sound a little pricey if you were not close. I guess it depends on the price of flowers where you live. Here you can get a nice funeral arrangement for about $50.
Reply:You can give cash...but talk to the family first

and let them know that you want to give.

Give it to the person handling the details. That

way, they could use the money as they need to,

and they will know that you helped out.

Take care.
Reply:no, because you werent close to him. Sending flowers is a sign that you care , but you dont have to shower the family with money because he was a family member. I know that sounds rude, but I think you know what I mean.
Reply:No, the flowers should be enough. I also think a card would have been sufficient without the flowers (and no $$).
Reply:No-i would not give $

Which one of these outfits is more appropriate for a funeral?

2010-05-22T02:41:00.003-07:00

Which is more appropriate (for a girl) to wear to a funeral:

Light blue sweater with 3/4 sleeves and khaki pants

-or-

White longsleeve button-up shirt with light flowers and khaki pants

Which one of these outfits is more appropriate for a funeral?
Black or dark colors is most appropriate.

But out of the two outfits you named I'd go with the second.

Sorry for your loss.
Reply:It depends on your culture and/or country. In the U.S. most cultures dictate dark clothing for funerals, in which case neither of your outfits are a good choice.
Reply:black %26amp; white color...:)
Reply:A grey, black or navy blue suit would be most appropriate. But out of the two outfits I'd select number 2.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Reply:They both sound just fine to wear to a funeral- Theres is not a dress code really anymore as long as your not wearing clubbing clothes or beach wear.
Reply:The blue sweater.
Reply:If it is a traditional type funeral the darker the more acceptable.If it is a celebration of the persons life then wear the brightest .
Reply:Either is fine. And don't let people say you have to wear dark colors because you don't. Just stay conservative and respectful.
Reply:I like the first one, because you cant go wrong with simplicity and a pretty blue sweater.
Reply:Either sounds appropriate.

Without being able to see I can't give a definite answer.

In general any outfit that is tasteful and subdued is fine. Anything flashy, immodest, and designed to draw attention to yourself is not appropriate. The focus should be on honoring the deceased and comforting the family, not showing off.

Whichever outfit will be comfortable for you and allow you to not feel self-conscious, rather aware of others' needs/feelings is fine.

My condolences and sympathies.
Reply:As long as they are conservative outfits, either one would be fine.
Reply:They both sound fine to me .
Reply:Neither. Traditionally you wear black at a funeral. Wear a simple white blouse with a black suit, if you have one, or black skirt and jacket. If you do not have suitable black clothes wear something neat and discreet, certainly not floral patterns or bright clothes unless the deceased requested it. A funeral is a time of mourning and although it is good to remember joyful times it is also the last stage of the grieving process. Please don't treat it frivolously.
Reply:I think either outfit would be alright. Ask yourself which one would look better to you for a funeral. You would want it to be appropriate but not overly where attention my be on you rather than the funeral.
Reply:Both r str8
Reply:Either one is fine, dress according to the weather...and for comfort.
Reply:They both sound very nice. The important thing is that you attend for those left behind and they will just be glad you are there.
Reply:Both are fine, but a mid-length skirt would be better.
Reply:If you wear these clothes to a sad, somber event like a funeral, you won't have anything to wear to a picnic at the lake!

wearing dark colors is a reflection of your emotions for the situation. Dark and conservative for a funeral, save the flowers for easter and parties.
Reply:Either is fine. Like someone said "conservative and respectful"

You do not have to wear black.
Reply:I THINK EITHER ONE WOULD WORK, BUT I WOULD GO WITH THE BLUE SWEATER MYSELF ;)
Reply:I think both are appropriate. I didn't wear black to my dad's funeral. He wouldn't have liked it.

How can I preserve a flower?

2010-05-22T02:41:00.002-07:00

I have a few flowers from a family members funeral we cut them from the coffin arrangement. how can I keep them forever. i have heard of putting hair spray on them but i know from past experience that doesn't work

How can I preserve a flower?
It will depend on the flower type. Small flowers like pansies, daisies and the like are good for pressing. Get a heavy book, place sheets of white paper on both sides of a page in the book and place the flowers on one piece of paper and close the book carefully. Don't let the flowers touch each other.

Silica Sand can be bought at Michael's Crafts and other craft stores and some hardware stores. You place some of this in the bottom of a plastic shoe box, place your flowers with the heads up, then carefully sprinkle more Sand over the flowers until they are covered. These take awhile to dry, but they come out looking much like they did when alive. Colors will change some, white flowers go kind of creme colored, reds will turn a burgundy color. Wish I knew what type of flowers, as some can be hung from a ceiling upsidedown to air dry.

Best to you and your loved ones.
Reply:I would recomend smashing them in a big book for a couple weeks then sealing them in a big pitcure frame. sorry for your lose
Reply:Pressing them is usually the best method. I suggest putting the flowers in a "zip-lock" plastic bag which contains some silica gel (available at some hobby stores).

The silica will help remove the water so that they will dry faster. If you want to use hair spray on them, wait until they are bone dry.

WW2 photos of funeral in Germany with SS men attending?

2010-05-22T02:41:00.001-07:00

I have inherited some photos of a funeral somewhere in Germany? There is the open grave before burial, huge flower wreath being carried by soldiers, and what look like high ranking SS men at the ceremony, medals being carried etc. They are small b %26amp; w with crinkle edges. I have contacted the War Museum in London via email and they sent me an order form for photos!. How can I find out what and who they are?

WW2 photos of funeral in Germany with SS men attending?
UTF-8

If you go here and scroll down the page you'll find pics of Reinhard Heydrich, a high ranking SS officer and I think that it is funeral.

This may help you.
Reply:SS men? Are you kidding me? Why in the world would you even consider keeping them? SS men were eternally faithful to Hitler. They were the non feeling inhumane men that tortured and killed hundreds of thousands of men, women and children just because they thought they were superior. Genocide in its worse case, and you actually care to find out who these men are. I would burn them. It would turn my stomach to see such men proudly donning medals of terror. Who cares who they are. If they have hats with skulls, the best thing to do would be to destroy the photos. I would pity someone who would even consider selling them for profit. But it is your conscious...not mine.
Reply:Try to get pictures of all high ranking SS officers and then see who you've got. I have some pictures like that but from a different era. My great great grandfather was an officer of the Prussian army.
Reply:It could be the funeral of Hydrich he was assassinated in Poland in the 1940's he was a favourite of Hitler so there would have been a big turn out.
Reply:they would have to be pretty high ranking for anyone to identify them from their faces or their uniforms alone. Can't you get more information from the source of the photos? Do you know where the photos were taken? In any case, don't get your hopes up that these are worth any money. In Germany lots of people have such photos stuck somewhere in the attic.

Fillings

Drying flowers?

2010-05-22T02:41:00.000-07:00

how excatly can i dry some flowers? they are from my grandpas funeral so they are special.rite now i have them tied together and hanging up on the wall away from the air conditioner will that work? what else should i do?

Drying flowers?
Make sure and tie them together tightly....then spray a light mist of water on them and hang them upside down....once upside down, wait about an hour, and then spray a light mist of arosol hair spray..this will help them keep their color and shape. Make sure to spray the hair spray when they are hanging upside down. Leave them to dry for about a week, and then place them in a nice vase.
Reply:yes that will work, also you can put them in a big book to flatten em , good luck.
Reply:i have tied mine, turned the flowers upside

down and then sprayed the flowers with

hair spray.

John 17:3.
Reply:And if the stems are thin and blossoms heavier, hang them upside down..god idea to do that anyway...and if you hang them where there is no light they will hold their color better..

Some of the more delicate ( roses) should be dried with silica sand if freeze drying is not an option...
Reply:I'm terribly sorry about the lose of your grandfather. You can dry flowers that way, but there is no guarantee how they will turn out. If you can't have the freeze dried, then I would recommend Silica Gel or sand as a good method for drying. Here is a site that may offer some options and direction.

Good Luck

http://www.humeseeds.com/drying.htm

Funeral dilemma--see details?

2010-05-22T02:40:00.002-07:00

One of my close co-workers (known for 6 years) father past away and the wake is tomorrow---however I already have plans to go to a baseball game and if I go to the wake there is no way possible for me to get to the game (tickets paid for already and everything). I am sending flowers to the funeral home---is this OK? I feel extremely guilty, however I've had these other plans for a couple months. I've never even met her father. Is it rude for me to not go? Help!

Funeral dilemma--see details?
Funerals are to mourn the passing of someone you love. To celebrate their life and to let them go. If you have never met that person and do not feel a sense of loss then there is no reason to go.

Dont feel guilty just at some other moment let your friend know that you feel her pain and that you are there for HER - always.

But dont beat yourself up over it. If I were in the same position I would not expect you to go.

Best Wishes

David
Reply:Can you go to the funeral the following day? Can you get the time off work?

If you can not get your tickets postponed to another time then go to your game. You have purchased these tickets months in advance and have obviously been looking forward to it.

If it was an unimportant game that you did not really care about I would say skip. But if you really have been planning this for months you should follow through with your plans. And as you say, you did not know the man personaly.

If you can not go to either function, send a lot of flowers or donate generously to the deceaseds chosen charity. Be sure and include a nice heartfelt card. Maybe throw in a casserole and a cake for good measure.
Reply:Were you close friends with the father? Generally the wake should be reserved for friends of the deceased and the family, not friends of family members, except one or two close friends if the family member is especially distraught. Don't feel guilty. I would send a care package, or offer to cook some meals for your friend that can be easily frozen and reheated, that way they have less to worry about during mourning. Or you could see if a month of Molly Maid house cleaning would be appreciated, or something to that general effect. Have your office pitch in if you decide to do something like this. It's difficult to do simple day to day chores while grieving. I would appreciate such a gesture much more than flowers or something. It shows you're in tune to the actual needs of the family rather than trying to put on a facade of sympathy.
Reply:Its not rude at all.. carry on with the same plan.. don't worry .. everything will work out smoothly..!
Reply:The flowers and a card would be fine...odds are your co-worker is so upset, and there will be so many people there ,he/she wouldn't remember if you were there or not, a card and the flowers would certainly show you are thinking about them.
Reply:Send a sympathy card to your friend. Send the flowers and enjoy your game.
Reply:I don't think it is rude. Wakes are for people who knew the person and most of the people there are his best buddies.

It might be nice if you stopped in for a moment but if this is not possible the flowers are great. Send a sympathy card too and be especially nice at work to your friend.
Reply:Are there other times for visitation, either the night before or the day after the wake, when you could stop in to offer your condolences in person?

I have two close friends who each lost in-laws yesterday. (This was two separate families.) I've never met the father-in-law of one friend, but have met the mother-in-law of the other friend. I plan on running by the funeral home for a visit tonight just to let each of my friends know that I'm thinking of them and their families at this time. Since I didn't know the one man, and only met the woman once, I don't feel that I need to go to the funerals.
Reply:Have you considered going to the ball game tomorrow, and to the funeral on Friday? This way, you will be able to keep your plans, but won't look rude or disrespectful to your coworker. It's just a thought.
Reply:No, enjoy the game, there will be plenty of other family and friends around that day that you will not be missed. Send your flowers and a card. Take in a meal for the family in a few days. She will not feel like eating, much less cooking, for a few weeks. Make sure you are around for her later when everyone else has gone. She will have hard times for months to come and will want a friend. Wait a few months and send another card just to let her know you still care.
Reply:I don't think this is rude at all. While this coworker might be your friend, the fact that you never met her father is reason enough not to go. I would think it would be strange if you DID go.
Reply:No, you go to the game. Unless that person is your best pal. If that is the case-then give the tickets away-the funeral is more important.

But get it straight-this is the important part +++ 'Is this person your best friend'----yes-funeral, no-ballgame.
Reply:Offer your condolences, send flowers and go to the game. Your co-worker may appreciate if you do attend the wake but then that person may not. You did not know the father. I wouldn't feel badly about it since your plans were pre-existing and not able to be moved to another date.
Reply:Offer your sorrow, send the flowers and go to the game with a clear concience. He was not your father, and she is only a friend. I know this sounds harsh, but it's true.. unless you knew him and liked him.. and people are expecting that you're going to be there (besides your friend) then you shouldn't be going.
Reply:yeah you should go to the funeral. Imagine how you would feel if your father just died? wouldn't you want your friends to be there to support you?? there will be other baseball games, even if this one was particularly expensive or whatever.... but people only die once...
Reply:Is a close coworker the same as a close friend to you? If so, I'd say you need to go to the wake, unless you can make it to the funeral the next day. And if you don't go to the wake, do NOT say it was because of a baseball game. Her father will never know the difference, but if you are really a close friend, she may miss you, and be hurt that you thought having fun was more important than being there for her.

If the funeral is an option, do that, and just say--Sorry I couldn't go to both, but I thought it was more important to attend the funeral.

If she's not really a close friend, just a business associate, the flowers and sympathy card route are ok too.

Where can I find an obituary in the UK for someone?

2010-05-22T02:40:00.001-07:00

Looking for an obit so I can find the name of the funeral home to send flowers to for someone that passed who lives in the UK, Cheshire area, could be in London area, name is Dorothy Mooney. Just want to see the obit listing so I can send flowers to the funeral home to give to family. If you find this obit for me, 30 points, I'll give 2 freebie questions to you too.

Where can I find an obituary in the UK for someone?
Obituaries are not automatically created in the UK, and the internet is not commonly used for these here, either.

To publish an obituary here, the death must be proved to be genuine with a Death Cerificate, to prevent malicious hoaxes.

The family or friends would need to pay for an entry, usually in a local newspaper, unless the person was somebody famous whose death would be of general interest.

You will need to find the place of death and then check local papers published in the following couple of weeks.

Most local newspapers in the UK are now free and paid for by advertisers, so there are several publications in each area.

Local libraries and the publishers should keep back copies.

You will need to have a death certificate to find fuller details and these can be obtained at a reasonable cost from http://www.gro.gov.uk/gro/content/deaths...

Of course if the death was notable for any reason, it could have been reported in the local newspaper.

Check this out for Cheshire newspapers:

http://www.thisischeshire.co.uk/cheshire...

This may also be of use:

http://www.thisischeshire.co.uk/

http://www.uk-funerals.co.uk/funeral-dir...

If the death was in London you would need to find the specific place.

Hope this helps.
Reply:you'll have to check all the newspapers in Cheshire and London. There may not have been an obit inserted in the paper by the next of kin.

Funeral customs/Paying respects in the Hawaiian culture?

2010-05-22T02:40:00.000-07:00

A good friend (who lives in the states) just lost her father, who is Hawaiian and lives in Hilo. She was visiting him when the death occured and will be down there for the next few weeks. Can anyone tell what a traditional Hawaiian funeral is like? Do you send flowers, like we do in the states? Do they send leis? I am not sure what the appropriate way to send my respects is. Thanks.

Funeral customs/Paying respects in the Hawaiian culture?
Here is a webpage with information regarding traditional Hawaiian rites of passage:

http://www.hawaii.edu/oceanic/rotuma/os/...

apply for a loan

Will it be too much like a funeral?

2010-05-22T02:39:00.002-07:00

I want to put up pictures of our parents and our grandparents from their wedding day. But a couple of grandparents have passed away and their spouses have remarried, I was going to include those too. I was going to dress the table up all pretty with nice frames and candles and flowers. My question is will it look like a funeral memorial?

Will it be too much like a funeral?
Funeral-ish, or not it is going to be darned awkward. While I am totally disgusted at sentiments like "It's YOUR wedding and it's all about YOU and you should have everything YOUR way", I think this would be going too far the other direction. The event should be about YOUR marriage, the marriage that is taking place then and there -- not about other people or other marriages.
Reply:I don't think it will look like a funeral at all.

We are doing something similar in our wedding.

We are having a frame with all the grandparents (that have passed away) pictures in it and another frame with a nice memorial poem and a candle in a glass hurricane container engraved with in loving memory and an artificial rose.
Reply:I went to a family friends wedding and they had done this for their wedding. The photos were displayed on a table during the cocktail hour and there was a card under each photo explaining who was pictured. I thought it was such a cute idea. It was so interesting to see our friend's parents when they got married. So I think it is a great idea and no at all morbid!!

Have fun!!
Reply:You should put out in the lobby arear of the wedding site, there is nothing wrong with including passed loved ones. I went to wedding and a chair was draped with fabric and a single rose was placed in the chair alond with a picture to memoralize the grooms grandmother.
Reply:I think its taking the attention from you..although its nice to rember your family..and very sweet of you..I think it may be too much going on....
Reply:Lots of people do that so it would be very appropriate.
Reply:no it will be nice...

i think you should do, and hopefully your marriage will last forever!!
Reply:NICE!!! infact i just called my mom and told her about your idea were now doing something similar THANKS!!
Reply:yes its ok

What, if anything, should I send to the funeral of a Jewish friends mother?

2010-05-22T02:39:00.001-07:00

I'm Christian, my friend is Jewish. His mom died yesterday and I was going to send flowers...however, I thought I remembered him telling me that Jews don't observe that tradition at funerals. Do I send anything? Nothing? and what about a sympathy card?

What, if anything, should I send to the funeral of a Jewish friends mother?
Visit the family-nothing else is necessary. I hope the answer by "me" was tongue-in-cheek, otherwise it is the most disgusting answer I have ever seen on Yahoo answers, and believe me, I've seen some disgusting answers.
Reply:a sympathy card would be a good idea.

Donate what you would have spent on flowers to a worthy cause (maybe one she supported) in her name.

If you can attend the services and be supportive to him.

in other words be a friend and do what you think is right.
Reply:"I could not attend the funeral of my friend, but I sent a nice letter saying I aprove of it" ~ mark twain
Reply:A simple sympathy card should be fine.

Always try to give someones beloved dead they same consideration would would wish them to show to yours, respect their faith.
Reply:Find out where the Shiva (mourning house) is and visit your friend there. Do not worry the body will not be there. Most people who go offer ther condolences and be supportive of the friend and family. A card is good to. and maybe bring a dessert or something.
Reply:You should go over and pay your respects. It would mean more than any gift you could send.
Reply:a card and/or a fruit basket (meaning, ONLY fruit)
Reply:As a matter of etiquette, I'd give the money you'd spend on flowers to a charity in the deceased person's name. Flowers at funerals are generally frowned upon, as they are considered festive and therefore inappropriate for mourning. Jews also care very much about charity, so an endowment would be very welcome.

Please visit your friend's home to express condolences. You might also want to bring a basket of Kosher foods, if you can get some guidance how to pick correctly.
Reply:Be a good christian and do what your religion demands and what you feel in your heart - send her a lovely card with flowers on it and a message

"Your mom will burn in hell FOREVER for rejecting Christ repent and accpet him to before you suffer the same fate you Jewish heathen. Jesus loves you."
Reply:Send a five foot red rose crucifix with a "may Christ have mercy on your soul" on the banner.

Is wine appropriate to give at a funeral?

2010-05-22T02:39:00.000-07:00

My friend has died recently, and he's gonna have a funeral, I was thinking everyone's gonna give his family flowers as gifts, would red wine be appropriate though? If not, what else could I give them besides flowers?

Is wine appropriate to give at a funeral?
I'm a funeral director and personally, I think in this situation, wine is not really appropriate. What did your friend die from? If it was Cancer, how about a donation in his memory to the Cancer Society......or if it was a Heart Attack, a donation to Heart and Stroke in his memory.....or whatever other charity is relevant to his cause of death. If your friend is Catholic and there's going to be a funeral mass, Mass Cards are always appreciated by catholic families. You could give the family a small tree or rose bush to plant in their garden at home in his memory.

Something else that families of the deceased always appreciate is gifts of prepared food, i.e. a big pan of lasagne, cheese or cold meat tray with crackers and rolls. They are upset and overwhelmed with everything that's happened and being able to just warm up a casserole or have something prepared so they don't have to cook is always really appreciated.

Another nice gesture is to write them a little note at Christmas time.....just to tell them you're thinking of them during this first christmas season without him and you hope that all the happy memories they made with him in years past will be of some comfort to them.

There's heaps of other things.......but hopefully this will steer your mind away from the more traditional gifts of flowers.

Edit: to Just a Gorilla! I don't know where on earth you got your information from but you are so so wrong!! All flowers have gift cards on them!! How else is the family supposed to know who they're from to send them an acknowledgement!.

If the family isn't catholic and you give them a bottle of wine and tell them it's the blood of Jesus, they're going to think you've got a loose screw!
Reply:No. Gifts other than flowers are NOT bestowed upon the family...And the flowers are usually laid at the grave site rather than handing them over to the bereaved as a gift. Also, better check your funeral ettiquette, cause I don't think you're supposed to put a tag with the flowers saying " to (the deceased) , from...." People often send cards via mail. I think the best gift a person can provide is to show up at the funeral and tell the folks sincerly how sorry you are and all that jazz.......and, if you must give them the wine, just tell them it's the blood of Jesus....be sure it's red.
Reply:Totally! I never give flowers to the family or friends of the deceased. I often give a bottle of wine or a gift card to restaurant. That gives the family time to spend together and no worries about dinner that night. I think flowers are just a bad remembrance since they also die.
Reply:When my friend died, I bought a little card that could be put inside his casket. I knew his family was recieving a lot of flowers from everyone so I didn't wanna do that. I don't know if wine would be appropriate...
Reply:Well if he liked it yeah.but if he didnt drink then probly know.and if no the maybe apple sidder.

Funeral? Dating 2 months?

2010-05-20T05:28:00.003-07:00

I've been dating a girl for about 2 months. Her grandmother died, and they are having the funeral this weekend. I am close to her(as close as one can be after only 2 months). She is not the type to ask me for anything. I doubt that she would ask me to go to the funeral, and has not. I have to work, and she knows that...yet I feel that I should do something for her and her family. Do you think it would be a mistake to send flowers to the funeral? Should I do anything else?

Thanks for your time!

Funeral? Dating 2 months?
Yes, I do think that you should send flowers.

It'll show her that you care a lot.

Do It!
Reply:i think that is a lovely idea :)

u sound like a sweet guys and that is very sweet .

yes for sure send them
Reply:deff, send flowers thats rele sweet
Reply:If you really want this relationship to go anywhere, you should take a few hours off of work and respect this girl's family by going to the wake, funeral, or at least pass by her home or something. You need to show herthat you can be there for her when she needs some support. She should not have to ask you, you know what is right and what you need to do.

Yes, please send flowers. Send the flowers and put some time aside to at least go to one of farewells to her grandmother. Otherwise, in a few days, you can expect your walking papers. Her family and her will always remember that you did not even come to the funeral to pay your respects.

Now if the event is out of town or a long driving distance and you need to work, and time just does not allow. understandable that you can not attend. pLease send the flowers. Call herto check on her a few times throughout the day, and make sure you explain thatyou wanted to be there to support her but that you just could not.

safety boots

Funeral question - I need an opinion: Is this tacky or not?

2010-05-20T05:28:00.002-07:00

My husband's grandmother died last night.

Today, as my husband and I were making arrangements to send flowers for the funeral, my mother-in-law called and told us that the poor dead woman's daughters have decided that in lieu of flowers, they just want cash!! Not money to be donated to a worthy cause, but rather just money outright in their pockets (funeral arrangements were pre-made %26amp; paid for in advance).

We think this is exceptionally offensive and rather tacky of them (like this is just a way to get money for their "grief"). What's your opinion?

Funeral question - I need an opinion: Is this tacky or not?
VERY TACKY!!!!!! If they were setting up a charity or something it would be different. But, it sounds like they are just greedy....and it shows a lot about their character - UGLY! I would pay respect to her by giving her flowers or something personal to her, not by giving the daughters money!
Reply:I think it's tacky, too. However, you have a few options: go ahead and send flowers, donate to a charity in the deceased's name, or give a donation to her church. I would prefer the donation method myself. Anyone who finds anything wrong with that is just being selfish and even tackier.
Reply:Wow, that is very tacky. I have never heard of people doing that? Just send the flowers out of respect for your husband's grandmother.
Reply:Very tacky!!! You could just by single red roses to toss in the grave.
Reply:They are doing it these days, a lot of grave sites you can't put the flowers their, so what they are doing is Giving money to the love one favorite charity, or your charity, in memory of your Grand-mom. and you can right it off your taxes. So it is not tacky, it is the in thing!
Reply:Send flowers.... the hell with those selfish *********.s.
Reply:thats not only tacky but extreamly rude and greedy, this poor lady passed away and they are being selfish and inconsiderate, do not send them money, sne flowers out of respect for the woman.
Reply:Maybe it's just me , but I would have asked what for ? Do what you feel is right !
Reply:Very tacky, I wouldn`t send a thing.
Reply:In my personal opinion I think their a bunch of tacky bitches.
Reply:Send flowers anyway...
Reply:definilty bad news, just send flowers out of respect anyway.
Reply:I have never heard of anyone just asking for cash at a funeral. I have heard people ask for donations to a certain charity instead of flowers. I would say it is tacky and I would send flowers anyway.
Reply:My Goodness! That is so TACKY! In my opinion either send flowers anyway or if your husband's grandmother was a religious women have a mass or service said in her name. You can contact the church and ask that your would like a service or mass dedicated to her. Another option is to still take the money you would spend in flowers and still make a donation to a charity in her name. It is what you think your husband's grandmother would want, not what her daughters want.
Reply:Ignore them , your right that is extremely tacky!!! I would buy a ridiculous amount of flowers. People are weird when someone dies.

My father-in-law died last Aug and my husbands Grandmother sued us for the last five years worth of things she had bought him ( air conditioner, computer desk, clothes, shower curtain, cleaning supplies ) it all totaled around $ 56,000 no joke! We ended up giving her $40,000. It amazes me how money can "help" with the grief of losing a loved one.
Reply:If the daughters are children, and have no other care taker, perhaps they need the money. If they are adults, do what you and your husband want to do. You owe them nothing. It's about what you would like to do for your grandmother-in-law now.
Reply:You should send the flowers anyway.
Reply:I agree with you - it IS offensive, crass in the extreme. I'd send them a bouquet of flowers with a note telling them how I felt about their request and that the flowers were in honour of their dead mother, not them.

Saving flowers.?

2010-05-20T05:28:00.001-07:00

I got these flowers today at a funeral. I heard someone saying there is a way to keep flowers forever. What do i do? Instructions please? Someone please help me, this is the only part i have left of my uncle and i want it forever!!!

Saving flowers.?
Roses and baby's breath can be dried as is.

I saved the roses from my mom's casket and I just hung them upside down out of the sunlight and left them there for about 10 days. I put the blooms together and wrapped them with string and tied the string to a coat hanger. Hung it in my dining room. The baby's breath I put in a vase and let it dry. Don't put water in the vase.

Daisies can be pressed. Get a big book and open it to the middle. Lay a sheet of paper towel on the book's page and lay the flowers on top of the paper towel the way you want them to dry ( flatten them out ). Put another sheet of paper towel over them. Close the book and put some other books on top of it. Leave them there for a couple of weeks. They will dry and be pressed. You can put them in a picture frame.

Carnations can be dried but they aren't so pretty. You can hang them, too, or just set them in a vase without water.

You can also preserve flowers using silica gel ( available at craft stores ) but I have not had luck with this method.
Reply:My condolences, hun. I found these links hopefully this is what you are looking for.

http://crafts.suite101.com/article.cfm/d...

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article...

http://www.memoriesbychiara.com/faqs.htm...

My condolences again. I hope that these links will help.
Reply:What type of flowers?? you can dry them... but depends on what they are..
Reply:it does depend on the type of flower that u have but if u have a dry dark area try hanging the flower upside down and maybe it will work....certain flowers will not dry but you can have them freeze dried check with your local florist for someone who might do this locally.

loops

Funeral etiquette?

2010-05-20T05:28:00.000-07:00

I was just wondering what proper funeral etiquette is? Do you have to bring flowers to a funeral or can you just show up and then leave when it is over?

Funeral etiquette?
Flowers are usually sent prior to the funeral as a gesture of sympathy and honor. It depends on your relationship to the deceased person or to a family member. It's perfectly alright to attend a service and leave, but you might want to speak to a member of the family, etc. Some people attend graveside services after the funeral. A sympathy card is also thoughtful for a friend who has lost a loved one.

How should I help my neighbor deal with the loss of her very young children?

2010-05-20T05:27:00.003-07:00

I just moved in a few weeks ago and don't really know my neighbors yet. Sadly to say, one of my neighbors (going through a divorce) lost her 1 and 2 y/o children a few days ago in a car accident where the dad was drunk driving and crashed (he was not injured). I sent flowers to the funeral home. Is there anything else I should do? I don't think she is home very often to go over and see. Should I ask other neighbors who know her more if there is anything I can do? It is a really sad time right now, and I would like to do something. Your advice is greatly appreciated!!

How should I help my neighbor deal with the loss of her very young children?
that horrible, you could ask if she would want help with housework, as there is only so much food trays she could use, that might be a good place to start,
Reply:Usually when someone looses family members you offer to cook a meal or two for them.
Reply:Wow. I don't think there's really anything that anybody can do. Sometimes the best thing to do is give a person their privacy while at the same time doing an act of service to remind them that they are being though of. I would not get in her face, visit, call etc...... Just deliver some food, have your spouse mow the lawn, send her a note signed by members of your church letting her know your support. That's what I would want somebody to do for me.
Reply:Definitely I would talk to the other neighbors. It also would be nice to send a card (or place a note on the door or in the mailbox) offering to help run errands, dogsit, get her mail if she's gone, mow the lawn, or just have a cup of coffee and talk - about anything, or nothing.

Keep offering.
Reply:First off that is very sad and horrible. I hope her ex husband goes to jail for a very long time. Secondly, I think you should send a sympathy card to her home with your number in there and let her know if she ever needs to talk, or wants to just get out of the house you'll be there for her. That way if she wants to she will call you, and you won't be a bother during this very hard time.
Reply:Hi my friend,

Oh! my God! I do agree, this is not a easy situation to lived for. And I know, it's not easy for the family or nobody else.

As you don't really know your neighbour, you can maybe do ...:

- You can sending her a plate of food;

- To some babysitting; (free of charge)

- Pass some time with her and the son;

- Send her a sympathy card toward the Lott of her kid;

- Send her a plate of something you have done yourself;

- Offer yourself to do some home works with her other son;

(free of charge)

- Take the kid, to the movie, the restaurant, the store or buy a treat;

- Yes, you can asked some feedback from the other neighbour toward that family;

I'm sure your be doing a very good job and neighbour toward your new neighbour. From her side, I know she will appreciate every minutes of what you will be doing for her in this circumstances. Keep up the good work, there.

As I would say ...: "What goes around, comes around".

May God bless and protects you for what you are doing right now, my friend. One, day it Will come back to you.
Reply:That's so rough...

One of the best things anyone has done for me when I've been in mourning is having others bring over food or offer to run errands. After the first month passes some people feel that their loved ones who offered support before aren't as present as they used to be. The real support comes months or a year down the road. Don't worry about saying the right thing, just be there to listen.
Reply:A few years ago I had a neighbor who lost her 3 year son. Just let her know that you're there for her if she would like to talk, and give her a hug. Sometimes just lending an ear is the best thing to do.
Reply:Oh my god, that is horrible. She must be dying inside. The pain and guilt she must feel. God, my heart goes out to her. It's a hard situation, it's your instinct to go over and want to help her. However, not really knowing her, you don't know how she'll accept you. I would ask the other neighbors. Also, there are things you can do for her without even talking to her. Send over food, make a gift basket with tea, bubble bath and candles. Send her a card with your phone number in it and tell her if there is anything she needs, or would just like company to call you.
Reply:Send thinking of you cards to her every once in awhile with your contact information. If she ever gets over it, it will be a long time before she feels up to chit chat.

Keep an eye on her house and watch for anything suspicious - from thieves to not seeing her around for a long time. Do not hesitate to talk to your neighbours to find out what is "normal" and what seems strange. Call for help when in doubt.

J W's no practices with pagan origins? Then why wedding rings, flowers at funerals and embalming of the dead?

2010-05-20T05:27:00.002-07:00

There IS Such a Thing as MATURE Christian (BALANCE) !

Nitpicking %26amp; Faultfinding Will (NOT) "Prevent" Jehovah's CHRISTIAN Witnesses From "EXCAPING" the FEARFUL and FIRERY end 2 this "Wicked System of Things" !

"It IS a (FEARFUL) Thing to Fall INTO the HANDS of the LIVING GOD" ! ! !

J W's no practices with pagan origins? Then why wedding rings, flowers at funerals and embalming of the dead?
Good question! I would like to know the answer to that one also.
Reply:Some customs are not religious in origin, some are required by law, others are a sign of respect.

We do our best to follow Jehovah's guidance and principles while keeping our conscience clean as we show respect for others.

www.watchtower.org

Read it from our website to get the untainted truth
Reply:You need to quote your sources as to the pagan origin of what you state. Either way, just because a pagan did something does not make it bad, only if it was part of a religious rite.
Reply:Mimicry is indeed the highest form of flattery.
Reply:imitation, like the bible man made...
Reply:That is correct. Furthermore, the idea of bridesmaids is pagan in origin. They were supposed to shield the bride from evil spirits who might seek to harm her on her wedding day. I believe there was some significance to flower girl role as well. yet, JWs use all of these traditions in their marriage ceremonies while, at the same time, condemning people for having Christmas trees. Go figure.

What always gets me is that they are always so condemning of "pagan" origins of everything, when the WT org. is so rooted in occult origins, that it isn't even funny!

Please share with those of us who don't know about the pagan origins of the funeral-related things you mentioned.
Reply:JR:

"Genesis. 41:42

2 Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck

Esther 8:2, 8

2 The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Haman, and presented it to Mordecai. And Esther appointed him over Haman's estate.

Luke 15:22

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet."

So are you trying to say that these people were married? This sounds like an advocation of gay marriage then.
Reply:--==Wedding Rings==--

The wedding ring is supposed to be of Roman origin, and to have sprung from the ancient custom of using rings in making agreements." (American CyclopÃ¦dia)

It goes back even further, which God allowed his servants to wear rings.

Genesis. 41:42

2 Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph's finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck

Numbers 31:50

50 So we have brought as an offering to the LORD the gold articles each of us acquired—armlets, bracelets, signet rings, earrings and necklaces—to make atonement for ourselves before the LORD."

Esther 8:2, 8

2 The king took off his signet ring, which he had reclaimed from Haman, and presented it to Mordecai. And Esther appointed him over Haman's estate.

Luke 15:22

22"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.

--==Flowers==--

Flowers are for the family.

--==Embalming of the dead==--

If we were preventing the body from decaying, then it would be embalming the dead.
Reply:Good question! I was just thinking about the subject.

Pressing flowers?

2010-05-20T05:27:00.001-07:00

how can i press a flower from my grandmothers funeral so i can keep it forever?

Pressing flowers?
Depends on the flower and how well you want to preserve it. If it is just the petals or a thin flower (like a daisy), lay it between two sheets of tissue paper and put it in the pages of a heavy book. After a while (like a week or two or three), take it out and put it under glass so you can look at it without hurting it (like in a picture frame). MarthaStewart.com has good suggestions too.
Reply:wow that sounds cool tell me thatanswer if u find it i want to try that too
Reply:if you have some nice thick paper (preferable white) take two pieces and sandwich the flower between them and then press it down with a stack of heavy books
Reply:I've pressed flowers from boquets, and from my garden, I made jewelry and notecards, so I've pressed a lot of flowers. I always used phone books. take tissue (kleenex) and put it on the phone book page (otherwise you get phone numbers on your flower). Roses need to be seperated first, then re assembled. Delphinumums press great flat. It depends on the flower how it will press. some do great others do not (calla lillies don't work, orchids don't work). leave a lot of pages in between and press another. Put heavy book on top, or a cookie sheet and some bricks or other heavy object. put it in dry, dark place for several weeks. (I would put under the couch.) When dry, you can use tweezers, and a drop of glue on acid free paper to make a pretty little picture. I would make notecards then cover with clear contac paper, and trim the paper. Good luck.

Football Shoes

Which flowers are considered a bad omen when given in sympathy?

2010-05-20T05:27:00.000-07:00

I remember hearing that you shouldn't give someone in hospital red and white flowers on account of it being a bad omen ..

I also remember someone telling me that there are rules regarding funerals/deaths, it was something that you should avoid putting on the coffin or a certain colour you should avoid as it will show the face of the next person to die . Or something along those lines!

Anyone shed any light??

Which flowers are considered a bad omen when given in sympathy?
Red and white flowers given to anyone represents 'blood and bandages'. This originated from the first World War. Anyone wanting to buy red and white flowers as a gift, should always make sure there is another coloured flower with them and this breaks the omen.
Reply:The reason? for not mixing or giving red and white flowers is the "blood and bandages" idea.

White or mauve flowers on a coffin,only.Why I don't know.
Reply:Never give lillies to the sick, and never put irises on a coffin
Reply:lillies are for funerals
Reply:This is a placeholder
Reply:It is not a question of omens as these are just nonsense it is a question of good or bad taste.
Reply:Black Orchids are a bad omen!
Reply:All flowers are meant to be admired, not given a category. Whoever came up with the idea for a flower for this and a flower for that, must have been a florist. Great business to be in when memorials are due.
Reply:roses
Reply:Lilies are traditional for funerals because they signify purity and break negative influences.

Peonies were once thought appropriate for similar reasons. In gerneral certain flowers are associated with purity and others are linked to fairy magic occult purposes, etc. You would not present a flower that was linked with the later because it would be thought bad luck for the soul of the deceased and in turn his family.